How to deal with harsh words.

While I was routinely scrolling through various news headlines the other day, I found myself clicking on something I normally never would – an article about the Kardashians. At first, I rolled my eyes and scrolled past it, but then I came back to it, because I realized that it could actually inspire one of my blog posts. Who would have thought?!

The website reported that Kim Kardashian was consoling her sister – Kylie Jenner after the latter had been slammed on one of the TV talk-shows. The list of accusations:

  • Kylie’s pregnant due to condom failure.
  • The baby daddy will not be in the picture.
  • Kylie had plastic surgery, but the baby will still look like her pre – surgery.

A source said that “Kylie is traumatized over the whole situation.” Kim (the big sister) has been in the spotlight for a lot longer and is better equipped to cope with slender. She reminded the youngster that the same talk-show host predicted Kim and Kanye would split right after their first child was born, which has not happened. And said: “Remember, the best revenge is being happy.” I never thought Kim could be so smart…

***

All this led me to do a (hopefully) helpful “how to” post for anyone who is having a hard time with what other people say about them.

Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with being a little bit upset and even venting your frustrations to a sympathetic listener. However, dwelling on it and wallowing in self-pity is not healthy.

  1. Do not be upset just because you THINK someone talks badly about you. It might not actually be the case. However, if you find yourself at that point, take a look at your self-confidence levels. Maybe YOU are the one that thinks negatively about yourself. Work on it. Improve yourself if you think you should. Most of all – Believe in yourself! Do not expect others to see you in the best light if you do not see yourself that way. If that does not apply to you, move to point no.2.
  2. If you have confirmation of other people actually saying mean things about you, ask yourself this: “Is what they say true?”. Take a moment. Shove your pride and emotions into the back pocket and take a long, hard look at yourself.
    If the answer is: “No”, please move onto point no. 5.
    If the answer is: “Yes”, then move onto point no. 3.
  3. OK, so you realized that whatever they said was true. Great job! I mean it. That took guts to admit. Yes, it might sting a little, but you will turn it into a learning opportunity. Whether you did not see it, or did not want to see it, the truth is that you have some faults. Now that you are aware of it, work on it! Be better. Live up to your potential. (If you do not want to, then you should not care. Move to point no.6.)
  4. Once you better yourself, you can either approach the gossiper and thank them for inspiring you to improve upon yourself (imagine the shock and confusion on their face), or directly move to point no.6.
  5. If you do not like confrontation, move to point no. 6. However, if you do not mind it, confront the source of the rumor. Tell them you are aware of what they said and express how insensitive and untrue it was. They will either apologize (move to point no.6), or try to explain themselves. At this point it is your opportunity to prove them wrong (and move to point no.6). If at any point you realize what they are saying is true, go back to point no. 3.
  6. Forget the whole ordeal and just move on with your life.

***

What I am trying to say is that people talk. They always have and they always will. The truth is that if you do not care about what they say, they will most likely move onto a different subject. Why should you suffer just because someone is jealous, a compulsive liar, or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed? You can either:

  • learn from it and improve yourself,
  • confront the source and set them straight, or
  • pay no attention and move on.

Let me repeat the disclaimer in case you forgot:

Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with being a little bit upset and even venting your frustrations to a sympathetic listener. However, dwelling on it and wallowing in self-pity is not healthy.

P.S. If you talk about others behind their back, firstly, make sure you are not saying untruthful things. If you are, stop. If what you are saying is true, then think of ways that you could bring it to the attention of your subject. Maybe they would want to know. Give them a chance to prove you wrong. Talking about someone in a negative way behind their back is not helping anyone.

Are you currently struggling with something similar?

Share your ways of coping with verbal bullying.

Stay golden,

Signature.

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68 thoughts on “How to deal with harsh words.

Add yours

  1. Fantastic post.Who cares what others think about you.They know how to solve other’s people problems,but they don’t know how to solve theirs.Your problems are staying with you whatever you do,they must be solved if you want less stress.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I donโ€™t deal with it unless itโ€™s inevitable….
    And I donโ€™t have a recipe or a particular way this is always valid…. most depends on the circumstances….

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Good points! I have mastered the art of not caring about what people say about me. Iโ€™ve had a lot of it since I always do things my way. If Iโ€™m not worth anything they wouldnโ€™t bother talking about me.๐Ÿ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I generally don’t care if people say negative things about me although I would prefer that they say it to me instead of to someone else. What they say as a negative may be true but for good reason that they could only understand if they were walking in my shoes.
    I also try to avoid saying negative about others as I have not walked in their shoes.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t think many people would ever make it to point 3, human nature gets in the way. I’d also rather go straight to point 6 and be done with it. You seem to have an almost idealistic idea of people in this world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This was inspired by the fact that I read so many posts about people who are easily affected by what other people say. By doing such a step by step post I was hoping to make it easier for them to be less emotionally invested and get over it easier.

      I’m rather confrontational in nature, so it’s hard for me to let things go without “hashing” things out with the gosspiers (i.e. putting them in their place). However, being introspective, I noticed that some of the things other people say are true, and since I always try and better myself, I take that into consideration.

      No, I have HOPE that people can be that way. I know it’s not the case, but I will not stop trying to make it “ideal”.

      Like

  6. You should take pride in taking inspiration from the Kardashians and coming up with something productive! I wouldn’t have been able to even read about them personally so props to you. On a side note I don’t know if you write on medium but you deffinately should, you would attract alot of attention.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. It’s a great complement to hear that I can make something out of nothing. I normally would not either, but I wanted to push my boundaries.
      No, I do not write there, but someone else suggested it to me and it’s on my list for when I have some more time. Thanks for the encouraging words.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. The post is amazing. Firstly, it reassured me that I’m not the only one who’s the subject of people’s gossips. Secondly, it proves we’re not helpless. We can always choose our reaction. Even if we don’t like confrontation, we can either not to pay attention or improve ourselves.

    Thank you for this valuable lesson.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read one of my older posts. I’m glad it could be of help. At one point or another, we all experience these issues. It’s all about moving on, however.

      Like

        1. If I get the chance, I do voice how these words made me feel. That way, hopefully, the next time the person wants to say something harsh, they will stop and consider how it will come across. I don’t dwell. I either use it to better myself, or discard it totally. I know who I am and I don’t need others to build me up.

          Like

          1. That’s the approach I always admire: I don’t dwell. I know who I am and I don’t need others to build me up. How did you get the stage when you’re able to fight over thoughts which lead you to dwell on what other people said about you or could say about you?

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I think it’s because I saw these people disappear from my life. The classmates that I thought were terrible are never to be heard from. They live far away from me. And even when we lived in the same town, it would be a rarity to run into one another. So why would I hold onto a person/ what they said if they wouldn’t even remember me in a little while. Aside from that, even if I see certain people here and there, I ask myself if they can influence my life. If their opinion will have any direct impact on me. I realized we all have our own opinions. I have mine and they have theirs.

              Like

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