Act ladylike.

Even though the obvious main cast in this post is composed of men, it is in fact the females who play the silent leads in this example. Just this week, I read an article on a fraternity that was put on probation for two years because of their hazing techniques.

What is hazing? Google defines it as: “the imposition of strenuous, often humiliating, tasks as part of a program of rigorous physical training and initiation.” Aside from the military, hazing is often a big part of college. If you live in the States you might have been a part of a fraternity or a sorority yourself. If you are from outside the U.S., then you surely watched some American movies in which fraternities and hazing played a crucial part (“Revenge of the Nerds” anyone?). There is a lot of controversy in regards to hazing, because some people get injured and some people actually die as a result.

However, this time around no one got hurt. Or so it might seem. A fraternity at Cornell University was put on probation because of a sex contest they were conducting. New recruits were to earn points based on how many women they managed to sleep with. In case of a draw, the guy that slept with the heaviest woman would win. The women were not aware of being a part of a competition.

In the age of #MeToo, sexual harassment scandals, equality and feminism, the administration of the University, as well as the fraternity’s representatives had no choice but to condemn the actions of the fraternity and punish the hazers. Was the contest immoral? Absolutely. But was it really such a terrible thing? I am not so sure. Before you throw stones, let me explain.

Frankly, I am a bit confused as to why this is such a big deal in the era of feminists boycotting slut-shaming. Such women are constantly upset that men can have a lot of sexual encounters without any negative backlash, but women are “slut-shamed”. They argue that they want the freedom to have casual sexual encounters whenever they want. If that is so, why are they so upset that guys treat them as just a number, or a point? They say that they are psychologically equipped to have sex with no strings attached. Again, then why get upset when you find out you were just a number? Was he not just a number for you?

I would like to now circle back to the title of my post: “Act ladylike”. College is generally associated with wild parties and casual hookups. Please do not tell me that you did not know. However, it is up to YOU if you decide to buy into that stuff. If you are a girl, and decide to be promiscuous for whatever reason, be aware that you might not be the only one in his life. Now, I am not talking about being in a committed relationship with a guy who secretly cheats, but I am talking about girls who jump onto any guy five minutes after they meet him.

If you want to have sex with anyone and everyone, go for it. It is your choice. I will not condemn you. But if you choose to do so, do it with open eyes. Do not be a feminist when it suits you (ex.: I want to be equal to men, so I will have sex with whomever), and a poor, innocent woman (who is objectified) on other occasions. Own the side you pick.

In conclusion, if you want to be respected, ACT LADYLIKE. If you want to be equal, do not expect preferential treatment.


As a bonus, I would like to share with you another “ladylike” absurdity. Long story short, someone took a quote from an interview out of context and all of a sudden, American women believed there was a new line of “lady-friendly” Doritos coming to a store near them. In reality, the female CEO of PepsiCo., which produces Doritos, spoke about research conducted by her company on the differences between women and men in regards to buying and consuming chips. Guess who they polled in order to get such results. Yep. Women! Research is being done in order to potentially improve the chips. There are supposedly no plans to launch “Lady Doritos”.

During her interview, Indra Nooyi (CEO) stated that women (!!!) preferred to crunch more quietly, did not like to lick their fingers, and found it more convenient if they could fit their snacks in their purse. Oh boy, the controversy that these words sparked… Women became outraged that a fellow female was suggesting that women should have separate line of chips because of their more ladylike consumption. The Internet was quickly filled with women literally stating that they want to be as gross as males. That they want to be allowed to act like pigs men.

First of all, if you are in a public place, you do want your chips to crunch less loudly because you do not want to be rude. When you eat your chips on the go, the staining of your fingers is very much a hassle It is very unhygienic to lick your fingers after touching a million things. And also rude. And what is wrong with making the packaging more compact so it can fit into a purse? Do we want to be lugging around these supersize bags of chips that do not fit into any bag? Total and utter nonsense! And if you are eating Doritos at home, be my guest, buy the big pack, crunch as loudly as you want and lick your fingers. You will NOT be banned from buying regular Doritos.

Why are women so hellbent on being everything but ladylike?


P.S. The image for this post is a entitled “Woman in Violet”, and was painted by Pal Merse Szinyei in 1874. More info here.

Stay golden,



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30 thoughts on “Act ladylike.

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  1. This is a great article; and as a student who has studied feminism, I can confirm that in today’s age I observe many women who use it as an excuse to gain privilege. People argue for their rights when its convenient for them, that are not necessarily equal in nature.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good observation and good article.For example women in Serbia behave like you said equal to men when it suits them,and they behave like women when they don’t.Of course women should not allow women things to men: lack of respect,bullying,dependency from a guy and other things.But they should not copy all behavior men have.Women should be women,men should be men.God created us to be different and so let be like that.If we became all equal where the fun is that ?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Years of studying Engineering taught me that women will never be equal to men. It’s a field of study that few women choose. While women can get by with diligence and hard work, men can drink all night and still get the same results. My point is that men and women have different brain structures. Above all, men are physically stronger than women by nature.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my God. Yes! Sorry. I got a little bit excited. Of course, there are weaker men and stronger women. And women who succeed in “manly” jobs, but overall there ARE differences. Whether people like it or not. It doesn’t mean that we are better or worse. It just makes more space for all of us to shine in different fields and create a full world.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. I said I didn’t think it was morally acceptable.
      However, if you’re a woman and just want to sleep with a guy for no reason other than to have some fun/ release stress/ whathaveyou, why does it matter if it’s a “task” or not? What would knowing it change?

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Women want to be respected.
    Women do not pretend to be men.
    Life push them…sometimes. But that’s not their fault anyway. My mum divorced my father when I was 7yo. She was the man & the woman in the family (after that). Men seldom can do that. Bcz they r often made of glass…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I totally see your point and understand and agree. Women are able to handle a lot more than man.
      Maybe it’s just that bad here in the US. Women do not want to be respected (they want to belch in public; no matter if you are a guy or a girl and you do that in public without any sort of remorse, I do not respect you). They want to be men (be ugly and obnoxious).
      I REALLY hope that it’s just a caricature here in the States and that in other places women are respected by men, but they also remain women.
      Again, I am not against women being respected and doing whatever they like. But I AM against women going overboard.
      Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad to hear that your mother was such a rock.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yes, i understand also what you are saying… of course there’re different women and stories. I prefer to be respected and be a woman. but in the same time i love the freedom and i dont like to be told what to do (for example)… and if it is necessary – i can be the woman and a man in one. life is tough. sometimes u have to.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Being from the UK, I look upon the US fraternity system with utter disbelief. Okay I’m twice the age of the average student, but what makes them behave that way? Is it just the freedom of being away from home? Saying that, some pretty dodgy things go on at some of our top notch universities, too.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Well put! Men and Women concern themselves with very different things. Older people and younger people concern themselves with very different things. Liberal people and Conservative people concern themselves with very different things. All of these different groups intersect! So you can have an older woman who’s liberal concerned about not annoying the people around her. You can have a younger man who’s conservative worried about the same things. It is just silly. What Doritos was actually doing was finding a way to get a bigger market share. It had nothing to do with sensibilities of of its consumers. If you want to improve your market share, analyze the purchase and use data points of the product you make and see if there is some segment of the population that is not currently being served. Then create a product that caters to that segment. Tada! More profit!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I know I’m adding my two cents rather late, but what the hey, I always have something to say after reading your posts lol!

    At this point, I’m pretty convinced that women’s instinctual psychology is that they want love, and for it to be special at that. So while many claim to desire equality with men, the moment their egos are hurt by the fact they were just a number, they fall back on instinct. Mostly though, I think social media has made it easier for them to play into it and feel justified by hypocritical opinions.

    Before I started college, I determined I wasn’t going to be involved with guys. Since I’d kept a resolve through high school not to date, I figured that with college being critical to my professional development that it would be even more important to focus on studying. I only mention that though, because it ties back to what you said about girls needing to make a decision and stick to it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s never too late to chime in. I don’t close my comment section for a reason. You never know who reads your content, when it happens and what they want to say.

      It’s such a compliment to hear that you have something to say after reading my posts. That is precisely my goal.

      I agree with your psychological observation. When a woman says that she’s having fun with no strings attached, I just pause in my head for a second. I don’t judge. I just worry for them. And most often than not, they do end up somewhat hurt. Social media is at fault for a lot of things nowadays. It’s out of control.

      Good for you! I mean, if you were to change your mind during college, that’d be fine, too, but ultimately it is up to YOU. Just be sure you’re OK with the consequences. Whatever they might be. Not everything turns out the way you plan it, so prepare for a fallout. Happy to hear that you are able to stick to your guns. I think that’s an important characteristic to have in life.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Now that I’ve finished catching up with all of your posts, I’m having to refresh myself on which comment belongs to what content lol. You’re most welcome though! I love have the chance to delve into diverse thoughts and learning new things!

    It’ll be interesting to see what studies show on social media a decade from now. I just have a feeling it’s going to get worse as it continues. Especially with this trend of not taking responsibility.

    And thanks, aside from my boyfriend ruining my resolve two weeks after starting college, I haven’t strayed from my intent lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t know this, but there’s a cool trick that I learned from another blogger. When you write multiple comments on the same site, or when you get a response from someone weeks later, you often find yourself wondering what it was that you wrote to have them reply in the way they did. Of course, you can go to the hyperlink of that post (which shows up at the top of the comment), but that requires you to scroll through all the comments in search for yours. That can sometimes be exhausting. So a nice little shortcut it to click on the time hyperlink. If you’re reading this, you see my name, my avatar, my website and how long ago I posted this comment. Click on that. It will take you right to that comment in question, so you can quickly figure out who said what and why. Hope I explained that well and that you find it useful.


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Ellie Thompson

Poetry, Musings and Memoirs - True Tales of My Life

The Literary Serenity Archives

Creative Writing Reflections, Stories about Stories, and Feel-Good Pieces

Roars and Echoes

Where the power of my thoughts comes from the craft of writing.

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