Even though the obvious main cast in this post is composed of men, it is in fact the females who play the silent leads in this example. Just this week, I read an article on a fraternity that was put on probation for two years because of their hazing techniques.
What is hazing? Google defines it as: “the imposition of strenuous, often humiliating, tasks as part of a program of rigorous physical training and initiation.” Aside from the military, hazing is often a big part of college. If you live in the States you might have been a part of a fraternity or a sorority yourself. If you are from outside the U.S., then you surely watched some American movies in which fraternities and hazing played a crucial part (“Revenge of the Nerds” anyone?). There is a lot of controversy in regards to hazing, because some people get injured and some people actually die as a result.
However, this time around no one got hurt. Or so it might seem. A fraternity at Cornell University was put on probation because of a sex contest they were conducting. New recruits were to earn points based on how many women they managed to sleep with. In case of a draw, the guy that slept with the heaviest woman would win. The women were not aware of being a part of a competition.
In the age of #MeToo, sexual harassment scandals, equality and feminism, the administration of the University, as well as the fraternity’s representatives had no choice but to condemn the actions of the fraternity and punish the hazers. Was the contest immoral? Absolutely. But was it really such a terrible thing? I am not so sure. Before you throw stones, let me explain.
Frankly, I am a bit confused as to why this is such a big deal in the era of feminists boycotting slut-shaming. Such women are constantly upset that men can have a lot of sexual encounters without any negative backlash, but women are “slut-shamed”. They argue that they want the freedom to have casual sexual encounters whenever they want. If that is so, why are they so upset that guys treat them as just a number, or a point? They say that they are psychologically equipped to have sex with no strings attached. Again, then why get upset when you find out you were just a number? Was he not just a number for you?
I would like to now circle back to the title of my post: “Act ladylike”. College is generally associated with wild parties and casual hookups. Please do not tell me that you did not know. However, it is up to YOU if you decide to buy into that stuff. If you are a girl, and decide to be promiscuous for whatever reason, be aware that you might not be the only one in his life. Now, I am not talking about being in a committed relationship with a guy who secretly cheats, but I am talking about girls who jump onto any guy five minutes after they meet him.
If you want to have sex with anyone and everyone, go for it. It is your choice. I will not condemn you. But if you choose to do so, do it with open eyes. Do not be a feminist when it suits you (ex.: I want to be equal to men, so I will have sex with whomever), and a poor, innocent woman (who is objectified) on other occasions. Own the side you pick.
In conclusion, if you want to be respected, ACT LADYLIKE. If you want to be equal, do not expect preferential treatment.
As a bonus, I would like to share with you another “ladylike” absurdity. Long story short, someone took a quote from an interview out of context and all of a sudden, American women believed there was a new line of “lady-friendly” Doritos coming to a store near them. In reality, the female CEO of PepsiCo., which produces Doritos, spoke about research conducted by her company on the differences between women and men in regards to buying and consuming chips. Guess who they polled in order to get such results. Yep. Women! Research is being done in order to potentially improve the chips. There are supposedly no plans to launch “Lady Doritos”.
During her interview, Indra Nooyi (CEO) stated that women (!!!) preferred to crunch more quietly, did not like to lick their fingers, and found it more convenient if they could fit their snacks in their purse. Oh boy, the controversy that these words sparked… Women became outraged that a fellow female was suggesting that women should have separate line of chips because of their more ladylike consumption. The Internet was quickly filled with women literally stating that they want to be as gross as males. That they want to be allowed to act like
First of all, if you are in a public place, you do want your chips to crunch less loudly because you do not want to be rude. When you eat your chips on the go, the staining of your fingers is very much a hassle It is very unhygienic to lick your fingers after touching a million things. And also rude. And what is wrong with making the packaging more compact so it can fit into a purse? Do we want to be lugging around these supersize bags of chips that do not fit into any bag? Total and utter nonsense! And if you are eating Doritos at home, be my guest, buy the big pack, crunch as loudly as you want and lick your fingers. You will NOT be banned from buying regular Doritos.
Why are women so hellbent on being everything but ladylike?
P.S. The image for this post is a entitled “Woman in Violet”, and was painted by Pal Merse Szinyei in 1874. More info here.
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