Today my heart feels heavy. I am struggling with my thoughts and emotions. It feels as if I am expected to save the world. Not the WHOLE world, but the world of the people close to me. They have expectations. And the thing is, I DO want to be able to save their world. But I feel that I cannot. It tears me apart. Wanting to help, but not being able to do so short of destroying myself. Short of giving up MY shot at life.
The thing is that when you expect others to do something for you, you have unrealistic expectations a lot of the time. You have blinders on, and all you can see is yourself. Your life and how others need to make it better. You do not care how it affects others. You do not care how that destroys them. What others must sacrifice in order to bring order to YOUR world. All you care about is YOU.
Not only is this unjust, but it also is unrealistic.
YOU are the only one who can save yourself.
YOU need to want to make your life better.
You cannot be selfish when YOU are the one in need.
Normally, if you were me, I would tell you to disregard that person/ people and move on with your life. But in this instance, I cannot follow that advice. It is family. I was taught that family was sacred. That you cannot give up on them. That you need to help one another.
“I thought if we made an album that tried to change the world, or give it hope, it would really happen. But all people found was death and destruction and misery and self-hate. I learned that the world doesn’t want to be saved, and it will f**king punch you in the face if you try.” ― Gerard Way
Do you have any advice?
Were you ever in a similar situation?
What are YOU thinking about today?
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