Of utmost importance.

Today’s post is going to feature a few nipples.

No pictures, unfortunately.

Just various stories featuring that particular body part. If for some reason you are uncomfortable with that, please feel free to skip this post.

While browsing the Internet for various news pieces, I stumbled upon one that stopped me in my tracks. It illustrated perfectly how I have been feeling recently. The “star” of this sensation is a 17-year-old girl, who went to school without a bra because of supposed sunburn. What does one have to do with the other? It turns out that she decided to skip the bra because the straps might have been too painful on her reddened shoulders. Or so she says. Instead, she just wore a loose top.

At school she was called into the dean’s office, who suggested she put on an undershirt. A teacher supposedly heard a boy tell others that the girl was not wearing a bra and that he was making fun of her. The female dean (Can you imagine if the dean was male?) did not think the undershirt was sufficient, so she sent the girl to the nurse’s office for some band-aids to get the nipples covered.

As far as I know, adult women use band-aids in the summer time when they decide to go bra-less. In the instance of the 17-year-old, the girl felt so traumatized and “sexualized” that she broke down and called her mother to pick her up. Naturally, they both felt like the girl was unfairly treated, and the girl requested that her mother go to the press with this story. And the mother swiftly obeyed.

15 minutes of fame here we come! The girl span it as if she was being shamed for having larger-than-average breasts. She refuses to accept that she might have been a slight issue. She refuses to accept that the dean and teacher were looking out for HER. The district’s superintendent spoke out that she would consider adding “wearing an undergarment” as part of the dress code rules, but of course, the girl is not happy with that. She feels as if a girl does not want to wear a bra, she should not have to.

Because no one has to do anything anymore. We should all run around naked. Hold that thought. I will return to this.

The potential future solution by the superintendent led me to think of another angering post I read a week or so ago. Remember my post “We march for everything“? In that post, I wrote about teenagers marching for gun control, and there I voiced how they do not always see the whole picture, that they care about fame, and they are often just pawns in an adult game. The day after I wrote that I read an article that these very same students are protesting clear backpacks. They came back from spring break to a new safety precaution at their school – a see-through backpack. Instead of being happy about the fact that someone is actively trying to keep them safe, they decided it was not good enough. What did they do first? You guessed it! They went to Twitter to complain about their new packs.

We are not perfect. Appropriate solutions take a lot of time and research to implement. But in the case of the bra-less girl, and these see-through backpacks, it is clear as day that some people do not want good solutions. They want solutions THEY want. Good or bad.

Now I will go back to nipples and nudity.

Let me start by saying that breastfeeding is a natural thing. Women have been doing for a very, VERY long time. It is NOT a new phenomenon. But somehow, every now and then, we are made to feel as if it was. (See various photo campaigns from just last year here and here.)

What happened in this news piece? A woman wanted to breastfeed at a McDonald’s and she was told to do so in the bathroom. This fast-food chain is considered a family restaurant and some people might not wish to have their young children exposed to naked breasts and slipping nipples. However, the bathroom is supposedly too gross to take out your breast and feed the baby. The woman compared it to any other person eating in the toilet. What made my eyes roll in this story was that she ended up feeding the baby out in the open, at the mall, on an empty bench, by an escalator. And of course, she was so traumatized by the onlookers that she is now afraid to go out in public.

How is feeding your baby at a public restaurant any different from feeding it in the hall? People are going to look. If you did not want them to, you should have gone into the bathroom. Or covered yourself. Oh, but then she says she is also traumatized by other incidents in which people told her to cover up. So do you care, or not if people see your bare breasts? Please be consistent in your battle for your rights.

It might be a good idea to add breast feeding stations at shopping malls and bigger venues. However, I feel lost once again. I have been bombarded with articles about breastfeeding being natural, and how it should be celebrated and done in public, because it is beautiful, yet then I see people complaining about not being able to do it privately.

So which is it?

Public, or private breastfeeding?

Safety in schools, or kid’s satisfaction?

Stay golden,



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Disclaimer: The picture used for this post is not my property. Source: here.

62 thoughts on “Of utmost importance.

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  1. Enjoyed your post was quiet funny but you do have a point sadly. People are becoming so illogical the rest of us can’t make head nor tail of whats going on in society. Baffling to say the least.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great read. People who are offended by breastfeeding need to remind themselves that (I know not everyone was breastfed..) they were breastfed once too, and maybe for a change, they should look the other direction if they don’t want to see it?;) But, seriously!


  3. It’s called justifiable outrage. Some people just want to yell. They don’t actually want to be heard or given an answer or accommodated because that would take away their reason to be outraged!
    You’re so inconsiderate 😉

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Now you’ve done it. I’m going to try and get the word “inconsiderate” removed from the dictionary and anyone using it will get jail time. You have no idea how hurt I am by your words.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I fed my kids in public. Most of the time, no one could tell, and the ones that could were other nursing mothers. A nice chair in the ladies room would be cool. They sell discreet nursing clothes so your privacy is protected. You can throw a blanket or one of those fancy nursing contraptions that looks like a tent over your child when nursing. Most mothers don’t nurse their children once it becomes inconvenient after a month. Those old pros like me nursed them until they were nearly a year old, and the children weaned themselves. (I hate bottles.)

    I also went bra-less in college when the women’s movement started. It felt comfortable to do so; I wasn’t making a statement. Others took it to mean I was making a statement. But it wasn’t the one I was expecting. Everyone, male and female, that had an opinion and said something out loud or just out of earshot considered me a girl without morals who was going to college to get her MRS. They assumed that my boyfriend and I were having sex every night even though we waited until we were married 4 years later. I was a virgin bride, and he a virgin groom. If you choose to go bra-less, there will be unflattering assumptions made. If that doesn’t bother you, go ahead. If I went back in time, I certainly would make different choices.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. As you point out, there are various ways to do something that has been done for AGES. Clearly, there will always be something to complain about. The sense of entitlement is overpowering.

      College kids are very assuming. If you don’t care about it, then it’s fine, but if you do…

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Oh man. People and their statements.
    And what’s with that photoshoot? “Women of Color”? What does that have to do with breastfeeding? Chocolate Milk mommies? REALLY?

    I live in the Netherlands, which is known for being very liberal about nudity.
    It’s almost a crime to wear clothes, for F’s sake.
    I find it EXTREMELY awkward to live in this country.

    I find bra’s extremely uncomfortable, but I always wear them in public.
    Nothing beats the feeling of taking it off after a long day anyway 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I laughed at your first paragraph, because that is exactly what I was thinking. Is there a specific ban in regards to other-than-white breastfeeding women that I was not aware of? And then they come up with the “Chocolate Milk” thing. I thought we were supposed to be fighting racism, not fostering it.

      Ah, the Netherlands…

      Going bra-less leaves you open for “Are you excited to see me?”


      1. Well, I still don’t know if you wear a bra 😉
        Racism is such a vague term. As a “white person” you’re not allowed to say the “N” word, but “chocolate milk” people can.
        I have no intention to insult anyone. Hardly ever to speak anyone. But let’s keep it fair.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Indeed. Insulting someone is so much easier nowadays. Like you, I usually don’t want to insult anyone, but have to REALLY watch what I’m saying in public, because any innocent remark can be considered a “terrible” thing to say.


          1. I commented yesterday on a picture of a singer on Instagram.
            Between all the “what a BABE” comments, my “Her lips look fake” comment definitely stood out.

            Then some fan of this singer commented to me “You’re ugly, your face is asymmetrical, your hair is terrible. How dare you say something about this QUEEN”.

            There is the difference between making a statement which might not be as nice but true and actually insulting someone.

            ps. I didn’t care much for her insult. It’s been a while since I was her age.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I’m glad you didn’t take that insult to heart.

              I see nothing wrong with what you said. You didn’t even say: “Her lips are ugly”, you were just wondering about the realness.


  6. First of all, i think that, that 17 year old girl was disgusting by going to school without a bra, i think she made it on purpose! Either for the boys or for fame. She could have put a fabric bra instead of a plastic one.

    2nd/ I’ve seen mothers breastfeeding their child, personally i don’t like it, because she’s showing (involuntarily ) her nipple. i don’t think she should have e to the toilet or mall, but i think she should have brought bottles of milk with her

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Lovely post. In my country, and I think in most other African countries, women feed their children in the public. As in, running into a breastfeeding mother is as common as seeing a bus in every bus stop.
    NB: This is usually in the rural areas, though (where I live). I’ve been to other “tush” (fancy and more developed) parts of Lagos State and I can testify that it’s very different in that part of the state. I think breastfeeding in the public here depends on the environment and how much it affects you. Come to rural areas here, you’d find old women walking topless (yes, you read that right) 😔
    It’s not something I fancy though but I won’t say I’m totally against it — more like I’m indifferent. I would like it if our government address the issue. Your idea of breastfeeding stations is a swell idea! But sadly, our country is too busy chasing a snake that swallowed millions of money and a monkey that eloped with another millions to care about breastfeeding mothers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for telling me how the situation looks like in your country. Very interesting.
      Nudity in Africa somehow seems more “normal” to me. I’m basing that on some tribal photographs in which women are topless.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. It never ceases to amaze me at what people get stirred up about. Just recently in this country a member of parliament breastfed her child in the parliamentary chamber and yes it raised eyebrows and debate. A lot of people have a thing about breasts don’t they, they assume the role of moral police and become all indignant over something that is as human as you’d like to think they are.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. No one complains about male nipples. The only difference between theirs and ours are the size of the surrounding area. I’ve seen heavy men who should be wearing a bra.

    I did so love the anti-gun, anti-clear Backpack issue. It proved my point that, just as you pointed out, it’s more about fame than reality. Anti-gun people protected by people with guns: Hypocrisy.

    Culture has a lot to do with it. I was in Europe and saw women of all ages sunbathing topless. The only ones who seemed mesmerized by it was foreigners. Raise a child to cover herself from head to toe, and a naked ankle is lustful. Women in some middle east countries are stoned for showing any skin but what’s around their eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All great points. Thank you for sharing them.

      And your cultural point reminded me of something. Not only are women stoned for showing more skin, but foreign women are raped because of showing more skin. If a man sees nothing but fabric all day, when he sees a naked shoulder, he goes crazy.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Crazy world.In my country there’s a quote: “Who didn’t went crazy so far, he is not normal”.Anyway i am not surprised with things happening around us, the important question is can we change something.By the way i like when you write,so write more often.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.
      That’s a great saying. I often wonder if I’ve gone crazy because of the madness around me, or if I’m actually quite sane. I still haven’t decided.
      I find that the things are more extreme in the USA, so my hope is that people from other countries get to see these things before they happen in their countries and they can stop it. Because I feel like it’s VERY hard to stop it now. It’s like an avalanche. Even if you change one thing more stuff is going to come tumbling down.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I find it a bit funny when I was a kid and used to think my parents were so old and that they didn’t know what they were talking about when they complained about the younger generations. And now I’m doing the same.
          You’re absolutely right. Today’s “role models” are not really role models.

          Liked by 1 person

  11. I have a different take on all of those issues, actually. For the first one, I think as long as someone’s body is appropriately covered on the outside, what they wear underneath should be their business. In terms of see-through backpacks, perhaps students aren’t protesting a measure that will keep them safe; perhaps they are protesting because a measure like that only gives an illusion of protecting safety, and is not going to in any way impede someone from walking into a school with an assault rifle and firing away. Lastly, under the law here in Canada, women have the right to breastfeed wherever they wish. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to look.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment.
      I agree with your “cover” comment, however, nipples (kind of like a penis) can stand up and cause unwanted attention. If something was to happen to the girl, she would sue the school for not protecting her, which is why I think it was appropriate and protective of the school body to suggest the band-aids.
      About the backpacks – yes and no. Yes, someone could come in with a gun, take out the guards and walk right in with the metal detectors ringing. However, their “solution” is to ban guns. That’s also an illusion – two words – black market. And criminals.
      And I agree with your closing remark. There are bigger problems in the world than getting offended by a nursing woman.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Again, you’re right. Nothing will stop anything 100%. However, I do believe in taking precaution. Is it sad that in some cities people are afraid to be walking out late at night for fear of getting robbed, or attacked? Of course. I wish we could all go outside at whatever time of day and feel safe. But that, unfortunately, is NOT the case. So what do we do? We take precaution, i.e. avoid going out at night in the dodgier parts of town.


  12. Nice post and yes people will always complain about something.
    I also don’t understand why anyone would go to school without a bra..honestly, if it’s not a mistake, it’s to instigate something. And once one is in the wrong, unfortunately they will find a way to justify it. That is very wrong.
    For mothers, I really respect them. All mothers. However, breastfeeding in public can be done discreetly

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comment was spot on. Well put.
      On a side note, I’ve noticed it’s getting more and more difficult to get someone to apologize nowadays. Just like you said, they will do everything to turn the situation around to show they were wronged.


      1. No not at all, there have always been certain things that you just don’t do in public. In my mind breastfeeding is one of them. I must be old-fashioned. I think that people are just too thin skinned. Anymore, everyone is so offended, entitled and egocentric that they think their “agenda” is all that matters. What happened to common sense and common courtesies. It would be nice if more public places had private breast feeding stations, would be a lot better than sitting on a toilet feeding your baby. I’ve done it a gillion times!!!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I couldn’t stop but nod as I read your comment. What I wanted to say you expressed so well – regarding the common courtesy and the individualistic agendas. One does not have to be “giving up” their “rights” for others to enjoy their lives.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. It is very good that you write about topics that are so emotionally charged. It gets the discussion going. I found it interesting to read the comments you have received. It is refreshing that others that live on the “other side of the pond” agree with us “Americans.”

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Thank you. I really appreciate your encouraging words.
              Like in any discussion, there are people with different points of views, which I really like, but it is also something that I miss. From my experience, I find that some opinions are silenced, and because of that, discussions are not had, which in turn leads to more problems and the lack of solutions. That’s why I write about these things here.

              Liked by 1 person

  13. In nigeria, it is very normal to see people breastfeeding in public- church, market, bus, park, road side, bank,farm etc.
    Once a child starts crying the first thing even a stranger suggests is ‘breastfeed your child’….not breast feeding immediately no matter where you are will surely attract not so nice comments from people.
    So, I have nothing against public breastfeeding cus that is the normal I know. Although I would not breast feed my baby in public.

    About going bra-less, that can’t really happen around here cus the girl will prolly be disgraced in front of the whole school. If her mother has a problem with it, the girl may be suspended or asked to withdraw since she can’t abide the school’s rules.
    I mean, some university students only last week had a portion of their hair forcefully shaved off because the school thought it was too bushy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is if the girl’s mother is not among the 95% of nigerian mothers who would meet her in school and beat her up personally for diagracing her and her ancestors.
      People on various social media platforms will rain abuses on the girl and her mother.
      Phrases like “upcoming prostitute” will not be left out..
      Sorry about the long comment.
      I had to add this.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No apology needed. I appreciate lengthy comments. They allow me to see things from a perspective of other people, from other countries, etc.

        See, that’s the thing. You mentioned that the mother would take matters into her own hands. She does that for her kid’s own good. Parenting here in the USA is getting harder and harder to do. It’s the kids that parent the parents.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you for sharing the hair shaving bit. Quite interesting. I agree that school rules are rules, and parents should help enforce it, not fight it. However, in the case of the girl who didn’t wear a bra, she technically didn’t break any rules because nowhere was it written “You have to wear a bra”. It wasn’t written, because it was assumed that you would. But no longer.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Well written article. Breasts can be a divisive subject.

    Where I live it is legal for a woman to go topless anywhere a man can. This legal precedent was set in 1996.

    I have never seen it happen except once at a Motley Crue concert.

    I have no problem with public breastfeeding. Discretion never hurts to be fair to all parties.

    I know better than to weigh in on the band-aid situation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “legal for a woman to go topless anywhere a man can” Really? It’s not public nudity if a woman walks topless down the street? That’s quite surprising. But I am not surprised that people don’t take advantage of that on a daily basis.

      You’re the perfect citizen – you have no issues with it, but you don’t mind discretion. I think covering up while breastfeeding shouldn’t be enforced by law, but it should be some type of common sense.

      Why do you “know better than to weigh in on the band-aid situation”?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is true. In Ontario, the law was challenged by Gwen Jacobs in 1991 when she walked down the street without a top on a hot day. She was convicted at the time, but her charges were later overturned in 1996 by the Ontario Court of Appeal.

        The Criminal Code of Canada (federal law) section 173 deals with indecent acts in public and section 174 deals with nudity (defined as a person who is clad in such a way to offend public decency).

        What is not defined under the Criminal Code is the word “decency”. This leaves the law free to interpretation by each province. In the province of Ontario, it was determined exposed breasts are not indecent (if not used in an overtly sexual way).

        My earlier statement that men and women can do the same is not entirely correct, because the law does not provide a constitutional right of equality between men and women with respect to nudity. In effect, it is equal in Ontario because a woman’s upper body parts are not deemed indecent if merely exposed. It would still be illegal to fondle the breasts or do a sexy dance for someone, but going to the water slide park topless would be just fine.

        The judge who made the ruling was a female. Whew, I learned a lot more about that case than I thought I would. Here is the whole transcript if you really want to get into the nitty-gritty.

        The band-aid situation is tricky because the student-teacher relationship is an awkward one. I understand the need for a teacher to say something to the student if their nipples are distracting for other students (or teachers). However, asking someone to apply band-aids to a very personal part of their body could be quite embarrassing. There was a similar situation at a retail job I had when an employee came into work wearing a fluorescent orange bra under a white T-shirt. It lit up like a Christmas tree and no one on the staff knew how to address the situation. I believe she was sent home to change.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you for going through all this trouble and researching this for me. Good to know.

          As for the colorful bra – I thought they make them like this for that exact purpose – to flaunt them under see-through/ white shirts.

          Liked by 1 person

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Darlene Foster's Blog

dreamer of dreams, teller of tales

Emotion Doodles

Children's book illustrator & writer

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