Just recently, I had a “friend” tell me that I owe them a lot. SO much so that I probably would not be alive if it was not for them. OK, I am exaggerating, but they basically made me sound like I had no idea how to breath before I met them.
Now, you should understand that I am very appreciate of the things others do for me (not that many), so when I hear I am not, I can get a little upset. Same when I hear that I should be appreciative for nothing in particular and that appreciation is just a 1 way street. It took me a couple of evenings filled with long walks deep in thought to analyze things and settle my soul.
Needless to say, our “friendship” is over, because they could not get off their high horse powered by delusion. I am at peace with that, because I have known for quite a while that this was not a mutually beneficial relationship. I was there for them. Selfless. Not taking, but giving. So when that was not enough, I hit my wall.
This post is turning out to be more negative than I thought, so I will just get right to the conclusion.
First of all, be sure to be your own person.* Take charge of your own life and do what you think is right. Try to rely on others as little as possible. Be the pilot of your own plane (life). Why? Because if you do, and you land safely after a great journey, you will be proud of yourself. You will have yourself to thank. I am realistic about myself and my life, so I know what I achieved on my own and what was influenced by other people and to what degree. But if you rely on others and have others fly and land your plane, you will not be able to congratulate yourself. You will be in the shadow of your pilot. You will have to thank them for safely getting you to your destination. Do you want that?
(*That has nothing to do with asking for help if you need it.)
Moreover, if you rely on others and your plane crashes and burns, you will be forever bitter and hold a grudge against the person that was piloting your plane. If you steer it and end up crashing and burning, well then at least you will get to say that you tried. We tend to forgive ourselves faster than others, so chances are you will get over the failure faster and you will get back to soaring high in no time.
Second of, do not force any kind of relationship. If it does not feel right at any point in time, give it one more try. However, if the “not so right” moments appear again, you might want to reconsider artificially prolonging the life of your relationship. Whatever it might be.
In my situation, I was being supportive. But I was not selfless. I was temporarily bored, so I decided to entertain them. It was a mistake. Now they became dependent on me and are trying to make me feel like I am the one that needs them.
I hope you were able to find some wisdom in all that rambling.
Have you had any rocky parts in any of your relationships recently?
Did you enjoy reading this post? Hit LIKE.
Have some thoughts on the topic? Share in the COMMENTS.
Do you regularly enjoy my blog? Be sure to FOLLOW.
Are my posts getting lost in your busy Reader? Try SUBSCRIBING.