Living with your parents; The value of family.

First of all, close your eyes and imagine that this post was published Sunday night. I was lost between a few different topics, but not feeling “it” for either, so I decided to postpone it until today.

***

I wonder where this world is headed on a regular basis. When it comes to humans, I am a sure pessimist. But I am also a hopeful person, so every day, I give society another chance.

A chance to choose the right path.

To choose progress.

To do more.

To be better.

To evolve.

Some of you might argue and say that we are becoming smarter and that we are heading in the right direction. To that, I would have to say that I disagree, but that I hope you lead by example and that you are indeed right. I wish you were not wrong, because I hate being right in that instance.

In some of my early posts (ex.: Those deadly avocados) I discussed how I felt about our knee-jerk reaction to sue anyone for anything. If you read that article, then you know that I find a lot of people ridiculous for suing anyone for anything. Maybe ultimately it is financially smart for some such people, but I, personally, could not bring myself to waste my own time and money, as well as other people’s resources on an unnecessary suit.

This post was inspired by Michael Rotondo, who recently sued his own parents for kicking him out of the house. His parents tried to help him find a place to stay, gave him money for temporary housing, and finally had to serve him with multiple eviction notices. He did not like that, so he sued his parents, hoping to buy some time. He argued that “It’s really unfair to me and really outrageous…” He got so used to living there for the past 8 years (Was he living somewhere else before?), that he thought he would be able to stay longer. “They stopped feeding me, they cut me off the family phone plan” – he complained.

Apparently, there is still hope, because the judge decided to side with the parents, and ordered the 30-year-old-baby to move out of the house.

After loosely following this farce, I wondered to myself: “Since when is it OK to not contribute to society, and leech off your parents (or society in general)?”

It was also discovered that he has a child, and owes child support. However, somehow he has the money to pay for storage of his “busted 1989 Chevy Camaro“, as well as its car insurance.

Since when is it noble to not work for a living, and instead, to have other, productive members of society pay for you?

Naturally, there are people, who, due to various circumstances cannot take care of themselves, and they need our help. I do not mean them. I mean people, who are just lazy and prefer to exists, instead of to live.

I mean people, who are lazy and cannot be bothered to get/ hold a job.

I mean people, who think they are smarter than everyone else by not working and surviving just fine on the backs of others.

What was interesting was that this guy actually got a job offer due to the publicity of his trial. He was offered a TV reality position. Stream his life for 1 thousand pounds a month. Who would even watch this? Is that how low we had fallen? That we would watch someone do nothing all day every day?

To finish, I would like to shift your focus onto family. Our initial family is formed by people, whom we could not really choose. Some of us got lucky with the draw, but not all of us. It is my feeling that the family unit, as well as family values, have been eroding. We expect family to do everything for us. We take their care for granted. Do we ever ask ourselves what WE do for THEM?

In Michael Rotondo’s case, his parents have been there for him for all these years. They supported him as much as they could. Maybe they even supported him too much. Made him too reliant on them. Made him feel like he did not have to do anything to live his life. Have you thought about how they must feel knowing that they brought up a useless human being?

Sometimes we try to coddle those we love. Sometimes they make us feel like we do not care for them if we do not continue to support them. It might be hard to cut someone off, but sometimes it is something that needs to be done ASAP, because the longer you wait, the higher the risk of them flipping out. The more time you give them, the more entitled they get.

It is a fine line between helping someone and enabling them. This guy was enabled, and his parents could not take it any more. I hope he gets to wake up and do something with his life.

To those who need help: Appreciate the help you are given. Do not take it for granted. Do not learn to be dependent on it. Try to get yourself back up as soon as possible.

Have you ever had someone relying on you too much?

If so, what did you do to get them to stand on their own two feet?

Stay golden,

Signature.

***

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31 thoughts on “Living with your parents; The value of family.

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  1. This is a great post. I live pretty close to Syracuse so I’ve been following this story too. This guy is a clown, he’s a lazy bum but… I do think his parents bear a large responsibility. He’s 30 years old, he has a child – it’s not a newborn so why have they let him leech so long? They didn’t do him, his child or the child’s mother any favours. I hope he gets his act together but I feel he thinks everyone owes him

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s how I feel, too. It might be a bit too late for him. Esecially because I heard he was going to stay with his cousin for a while (and so the cycle continues).
      Supposedly, his parents wanted to be a part of his kid’s life, but since he lost custody and unsupervised visitations, that was not possible. Who knows what story he span. About the baby momma being crazy and how much everyone should pity him.
      That’s the issue- some people think a parent needs to provide for their kid forever and ever. It’s almost morally wrong to cut someone off.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent post and you raise some interesting ideas. We have an issue like that here. I have a 31 year old son with a disability. He has had several ‘jobs’ over the years but has not been able to sustain them. He lives here with me, he spends a lot of his time in his room playing games on his x-box and watching TV. Recently he has started to blog which is good as it allows him an outlet to talk about his depression and anxiety.
    He is the youngest of six kids. His siblings think he should be doing something productive with his life and I agree and I think he does too. The trouble is, what he aspires to is so often out of his reach.
    It does become an issue when you think to the future when I won’t be here, what happens to him then? We have tried volunteer work but that has not lasted either.
    To a certain degree I am guilty as I have enabled him to live as he does. He came to live with me in 2008 after being abused by his mother. I wanted to offer him a safe place in which to live and I have done that.
    His future is a day to day prospect.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m sorry to hear that this issue hits so close to home.
      I know a few people (myself included), who think they are destined for greater things in life. It’s depressing, because, often times, these are very ambitious people, who want to change the world for the better. Most of the time they are not given a chance, though. I, however, realized that I have to LIVE while waiting for my opportunity, which may never come. It’s a lot of wasted potential when it comes to such people.
      However, this cannot be an excuse. There are more people like your son, but they still need to work and earn.
      You bring an important point to the picture – What happens when you are no longer there? (Hopefully not for many, many years.) Does he expect to inherit things?
      It definitely is not an easy predicament to be in. Apathy is hard to snap out of. It’s good that he blogs a bit. Maybe it will make him realize he should ve doing more with his life. I do not know how extensive his disability is, but many people live full lives despite their physical shortcomings.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. My son is an enigma in that he can do things he shouldn’t be able to do and can’t do things he should be able to do. He has had several jobs over the years but all have been failures. He is quite smart in many ways and doesn’t see himself as a disabled person in a traditional way. As he has not achieved success in the workplaces he has tried he tends to give up easily.
        These days he battles with depression and anxiety and those for him are very real issues.
        So I live in hope we find something he will be content doing. It’s not for want of trying.

        Liked by 3 people

  3. I agree entirely! I’m wondering if his parents will have to get a restraining order in the future to keep him from brearking into the home and stealing stuff to sell.

    For 1 1/2 years, I had to live with my parents after a divorce. It was like being 14 all over again. You have to wonder about that guy’s maturity level if he could stand living with parents that long.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I esencially moved out when I went to college, then had to live at home for a year or so before getting work. It was very trying for me. But it was because my parents did not make it easy for me. They expected me to ve on their schedule, do chores, etc. It didn’t matter I was an adult. I lived with them, so they treated me like a teenager.
      With this guy, it seems like they just let him do his own thing. If I had peace and quiet and was left to my own devices, I might still be living at home. Free food and laundry service and no bills? Close enough to heaven.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am much like your parents. If you live in my house and I am paying the bills you will contribute. Cooking meals, doing chores, mowing lawn, gardening, walking dogs, whatever you are needed to do.
        After my daughter graduated from college she needed a temporary place to live. She asked if she could move back in. We cleared out the smallest bedroom which had become my soap room. She was working and still taking an extra summer class but she was expected to keep her area clean and to be home at an early hour so she didn’t wake us up when she was coming in. She had to let me know where she was going and when she would be home. Since she was trying to save some money for her knew place she also worked for us on the farm a few hours a week. Her plan was to move in with a friend in two months. We agreed on two months and that was all she stayed,
        I always joke – saying if you want your lazy kids to move out become a garlic farmer and make them work for you. LOL!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Your daughter was lucky. I never got any money working for my parents, because I was essentially working for myself (that’s what my parents would say). But I do think whatever they did worked well.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. This is the parent’s fault.
    Part of your role as a parent is to love and protect your children, but also teach them how to become independent.

    But what annoys me the most:
    Is this what lawyers and courts really busy? With all the criminals in the world, this is their priority? Please.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s so many of them…I understand your point & agreed 🙂 but my father was one of such ppl, and I love him anyway bcz he was just an awesome dude when he spent time with me. That’s all what matters to me as the child. But if we look at the bigger picture – it’s sad & horrific

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh no, I could never ever live my my family again. Like never ever. I’m glad we have the relationship we do but if I moved in I’m sure they’d integrate me in their everyday lives and I just couldn’t deal with that ever again. Also, love the title pic^^

    Anyway, I also wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award. If you wanna participate, and I hope you do, you can find all the info in my latest blog post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly. That is why I cannot live with them, either. We all need our own lives. Otherwise, what is the point?
      Thank you so much for the nomination! I will most definitely parttake.

      Like

  7. Here I am taking some very important step to be independent and stand on my own feet in life and reading of this really has boosted me up alot. Thank-you so much Goldie. Your writings always has something for me to pick. ☺️☺️

    And yes regarding the relying thing, I have this friend who is like two years junior to me. She always kind of keep relying on me not in a materialistic way but emotionally. She has got so comfortable with it that she almost keep depending on me for making any decisions, assignments, projects even for exam I end up being her tutor. No doubt she is a dear friend of mine and I adore her alot yet I wish to see her being bold enough to do things alone on her own and I do encourage her for the same, the word I use is “You are one of the smartest girl i’ve known, you can definitely make your decision and do your work on your own, and you are yet to discover your potentials and see how amazing you are so just give it a try”.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You’ve acknowledged some serious issues by this post. I completely agree with you. We need to know the difference between existing and living. Above all, we need to know the difference between helping and enabling.
    A great post as always! 🙂
    Hey, I really wanted you to check out my blog for a story that I’ve uploaded recently. It was my first shot at writing short stories and I’d really appreciate if you take a look at it and give me some feedback or tips.
    https://fictivefinesseff.wordpress.com/2018/05/30/company-chapter-1-the-dark-alley/
    Happy reading!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I know a lot of people like this. This kind of issue seems to be very common in my country though. My youngest brother is one of them. It’s been over 2 years since he graduated from university and he still lives with my parents and doesn’t have a job. Sometimes I think it’s my parents’ fault because they spoiled him and didn’t teach him to be independent.

    Liked by 1 person

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