If you came here looking for #MondayMotivation, but you do not have enough time to read this whole post, I recommend you scroll to the bottom. The section with the video is the one you are looking for.
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My weekend had been below average. All in all, it was disappointing on more than one front. It took me by surprise. Now that I look at it, it was only natural after all the other great weekends I had in the past couple of months.
On Sunday night I find myself wanting the weekend to end. Not because it was so terrible, but because I did not want any more non-fantastic things to happen. I wondered if I have gone insane by wanting Monday to come.
Here we are. Monday. A new week. A fresh start. It can be considered silly that we wait for a specific date to start something (i.e. New Year’s resolutions), but I really do see every Monday as a start to something new. A new potential.
Which day do YOU consider to be a fresh start/ a new beginning?
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Somehow, some way, my parents managed to condition me into always trying to do better. Interestingly enough, when I failed/ did not succeed 100%, I did not feel inadequate. I did not feel like less of a person. I just felt that next time I would have to put in even more effort to get closer to my goal. I was (and still am) driven and competitive. When I wonder what exactly my parents did to have me turn out the way I did, I cannot always figure out an exact answer. I like to think that they did some stuff right, but that I also had a good head on my shoulders, and so I helped them. It might be just my inflated ego talking, though. (chuckles)
Enough about myself. What I wanted to convey was that even though my parents always wanted me to do better, I did not crumble in self pity and despair. Recently, I was reminded, on more than one occasion, that not everyone is like that. Failure does not motivate everyone the same way. Negative feedback does not motivate some like it motivates me. Of course, there are different types of negative feedback. While some are wrong and should be disregarded (when not based on truth and reality), others (constructive criticism) might prove helpful to your overall development. In a post I wrote a while back, I talk about how to get over negative comments, which you can read here.
Giving negative feedback without hurting the other person, making them feel less of a person, and destroying the atmosphere is something I struggle with. My goal is not to make them feel bad, but to have them strive for more. You got me, I am an overachiever, and it is hard for me to understand those who are underachievers. Plenty of people say: “If you have nothing nice to say, do not say anything at all.” But why? If it comes from a good place, why should I not say it? If it is going to improve someone’s life and potentially the lives of others, then why is that such a bad thing? I do not yell, or shout, or curse. I say it in a calm, matter of fact tone.
There are so many questions that I have on this topic…
If you are a person that struggles with criticism:
- Could you tell me why? Feel free to be as deep and detailed as you would like. If it is something personal, feel free to drop me a message through the contact page.
- Is there a way to criticize you in a productive way? A way to not make you feel bad, but to make you want to do better?
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This was supposed to be #MondayMotivation. And it is. I am just asking for your help this time around, to tell me how I can better motivate the proverbial you? Failure makes some people fall apart, while it makes me even more pumped up.
Just so I do not feel like I wasted your whole morning, I would actually like to motivate you a little. I am a person, who claims they cannot draw. Below, I share a video with you, that proves that in a way, we can all draw. We just put false limitations on ourselves.
“How many other beliefs and limiting thoughts do we all carry around with us every day? Beliefs that we could perhaps potentially challenge? (…) What else could be possible for us all?”
Stay golden,
.
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One day at a time... 
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I cannot explain to you how my I am annoyed by this whole “motivation Monday” bullcrap.
Does everyone else really need motivation to live life?
I’d go crazy if I had to that. As much as I hate waking up extremely early and still be stuck in traffic jams, I have accepted it.
My best motivation would be my morning coffee and some Guilty Pleasure music through my loudspeakers.
My parents seem to be the same like yours. My friends lower grade was always better than my higher grade at school.
I can still hear them: “You have more potential, so we expect more from you”.
Based on freaking what?
It really depends on whom the criticism comes from.
If it’s someone who’s doing worse than me in life, I am not going to accept.
If it’s someone more intelligent or more life experience, I gladly listen because those type of people are usually more careful will words and will not insult you.
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I was very annoyed with hashtags and “motivation”, too. But I like putting my spin on it (I don’t just post a quote), and those posts do get more traction than my usual lengthy, opinion ones.
You cracked me up, but it’s true. I accept things and I live. Some people do need more stimulation and push than others.
I can relate to the whole “potential” thing. But as I grew up, I realized that I do that to others, too. I see what they can do, and so when they fail, or don’t want to do something for fear of failing, I encourage them, because I believe they can.
You bring up a very valid point – regarding who the criticism comes from. Interesting.
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That’s exactly why I tolerate it coming from you 😉 but motivation in general I find unnecesary.
But you’re right, some need more motivation. But by quotes, ugh.
Now here a question for you:
Do you rather hang out with people who are more, equal or less intelligent than you?
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I think you know the answer… but I will elaborate.
Intelligence can be defined in different ways. I don’t consider myself a snob, or an elitist, so I do not have people complete an IQ test before hanging out with them.
HOWEVER:
I don’t mind hanging out with “less intelligent” as long as they don’t try to dumb me down, convince me of something that is not true; or if they want to brainstorm some ideas (i.e. are open for learning/ discussion).
I like hanging out with people, whom I would consider my “equals”, because the conversation just flows and we all “get” one another. So it’s easy. We just bounce off one another and we come up with better ideas that way.
I find hanging out with “more intelligent” people a great opportunity. I know when I am waaaay out of their fast lane, but I love to observe, listen and learn, so as long as they will have me, I’m all for it.
I hope this answer didn’t make me sound too conceited, etc.
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I had to look up the word “conceited” 😉
And no, of course it didn’t.
I prefer people of my own level the most, because like you said, it keeps the conversation flowing.
It must also be about a topic that I’m interested about. And they must be as interested in me as I am about them .
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Parents are my pillar of support, even when I failed in maths in school.
After scolding me, my father after 2 days helped me where I lacked the most. It helped my maths phobia 😊
Can’t comment much about criticism, but what I can say is, lowering people won’t pull us up or rather in a much better position. I don’t like those people who excel in giving negative comments rather than improving the situation.
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Maybe that’s it. Aside from the scolding, I would get my parents to actually help me study/ review, etc. I didn’t like it. I thought they were just being too nosy and pushy, but that might have been a good thing, now that I look at it.
You’re definitely right about being negative, but not having solutions.
Thanks so much for voicing your opinion and sharing your experience.
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😍❤️❤️
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I do not accept negativity particularly well because it is generally non-productive. If I cannot offer something positive (and there is usually a positive if one looks hard enough), then at least be sensitive. i.e. Instead of saying how stupid something was, one could acknowledge possibilities for improvement and simply offer constructive suggestions. I would much prefer someone telling me what I did wrong and how I could correct it next time …. than just declaring my inability (or whatever).
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Great point. I do my best to do exactly that, but some people do not hear anything else but the “there was something wrong/ not perfect”.
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I am known by quite a few people for “I will expect perfection from you, as soon as I can set the example. You are all quite safe for the foreseeable future!”
Drawing attention to someone’s imperfections serves no purpose unless followed by suggestions for a more positive outcome next time. I have little time for those who constantly offer non-constructive criticism. 🙂
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For sure.
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statistics say that suicides have a bigger rate on mondays because they are so depressing. Personally, a new week day to me equals a new day, just like tomorrow. and that’s not an inflated ego, that’s probably the right combination – good parenting and good judgement.
i too, take criticism pretty well, i usually tell people i have tough skin. of course, this is when criticism is constructive and not mean.
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Your comment went to my Spam folder, but I fished it out.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
Glad to hear there are other people out there, who can take some criticism on the chin. Of course, I agree it shouldn’t be mean.
A new day, a new beginning. A clean slate. Carte blanche.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
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Thank you. Spam seems to be mad at me. He’s been hoarding away most of my comments. Sigh.
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It happened to me before, and I noticed just recently it is starting to happen again. What I normally do, is I contact the person and tell them about the Spam folder. Hopefully, Spam is somewhat smart and learns from its mistakes. Once you take someone out of there, hopefully, it will not put them there again.
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oh God, i leave so many comments around, i can’t possibly remember them all. i don’t blog every day, but on the days i do, i seriously spend all day reading and commenting.i know i try to comment on blogs of every blogger who drop by a post of mine – at least once – , so i also leave comments during the days i don’t spend blogging.
And, what if i was ignored on purpose?
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Oh, I don’t remember all the comments either. The way I know is when I go to someone’s blog (I comment on their site, not in Reader), and click on “post comment” and then my comment vanishes. Usually, it will either post (and you will see it right away), or it will show your comment with “in moderation” (or something like that) on top, when someone needs to “approve” their comments before they become visible to the rest. If you don’t see either option, it usually means it went to Spam.
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oh, i didn’t know that. With screen readers – I’m blind – i’ll need to go over the page once more to get back to the comment box since i’m taken back to the top of the page once i press post.
ugh.
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At least on my computer, the screen does refresh (goes to the top of the page), but after a second is automatically scrolls down to the place where my comment should post.
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not with screen readers. it stays at the top and i have to go over the page again.
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I see.
When the screen refreshes like that, it can be confusing, since it does not show the comments that are awaiting moderation.
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The video was awesome, thank you it was a nice break from school work lol. And now I can draw Spike.
Giving someone feedback is a big responsibility, and it is a gift only if the person is ready to receive it. It’s not always necessary to mention something that can be improved if putting a focus on what went well and how to sustain the success will close the gap in another area…I hope that makes sense…and often focusing on the strengths demonstrated will give you more opportunity in the future to help with something that is a challenge.
There is also a quote I really like but sometimes forget to follow…. “Is It Kind? Is It Necessary? Is It True?” (also with “Will It Improve Upon The Silence” at the end depending on the Google result).
https://www.mindfueldaily.com/livewell/mindful-speech-is-it-true-is-it-necessary-is-it-kind/
As always a thought provoking post, here’s hoping something fantastic happens this week.
Take Care.
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I felt like we could all be cartoonists after watching this video. It was definitely eye opening as to how limiting we are on ourselves.
Definitely some good points to ponder.
Thank you for your insight.
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I think the best way to offer criticism is to do it in a way that is not a personal attack. I also never offer unsolicited criticism.
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I find that you need to have a solid relationship with someone before you go on critiquing them.
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I enjoyed that Ted talk, Goldie. I copied the cartoons and was delighted with the results. But although I got something out of it, I’m not kidding myself that I can draw. I’m not dispirited. I’m always willing to try something new (you never know 🙃 ) But I do know my strengths and weaknesses. Enjoyed your post.
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I feel exactly the same way. I can be objective and truthfully say what I am better and worse than. But it was pretty cool to see that with no learning, I am able to do something I haven’t even thought about doing. You never know, until you try.
Thank you for stopping by, joining in the fun, and leaving a comment. Have a great rest of the day.
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