As some of you may know, this morning I posted a completely empty post.

Was it on purpose? Ultimately, yes.

I pushed writing the #TuesdayThoughts posts until Tuesday morning (sometimes I pre-write it the night before), but when the time came, I realized my mind was blank. There was not much running through my mind. It seemed like I was still a bit sleepy, and a bit in the wrong head space (still lost in Monday’s post and the weekend’s spirit).

Instead of faking it, I thought of not writing anything. And that is when I had this brilliant idea – let THEM speak first. By “them”, I mean YOU.

It was my intention to leave the floor completely open to any and all interpretation.

I wondered if anyone would try to point out the lack of content.

I wondered if anyone would try and see a hidden message.

I wondered…


In order to avoid your disappointment, I will share some thoughts now that I have your full attention.

While browsing through some radio stations during the day, I heard an excerpt from some kind of a talk show (I was skipping through stations to find some cool songs, so I did not listen to the talk too much.). The host and the guest discussed the different in expectations and upbringing of boys vs. girls. Girls were said to have to be “perfect”, while boys were meant to be “brave”.

And while I did not listen to the debate, those words stuck with me for a bit.

My parents always wanted me to be both.

Of course, I understand there is no such thing as “perfect”, I do admit that I strive to achieve perfection in any and every thing I do.

I also consider myself to be brave.

So now what? Am I both? Am I neither?

Does this ring true to you? If you are a boy, were you taught to be brave? If you are a girl, have you felt the pressure to be perfect?

Would you not want BOTH traits in your offspring?

If you have kids, did you raise them according to the above mentioned standards?

Those are my #TuesdayThoughts.

Stay golden,



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60 thoughts on “#TuesdayThoughts

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  1. Having now read the invisible ink post – I want my kids to be compassionate.
    I want them to be respectful.
    I want them to have integrity.
    I want them to have dreams and reach for them.
    I want them to be brave enough to stand apart from the crowd when the crowd is wrong.
    I want them to be happy.
    I want them to be the best ‘them’ they can be. Not necessarily rich or powerful etc – just decent people.
    Perfect – No. I don’t want my kids to be boring or liars

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree with all of the qualities you have listed.
      I will add that only having raised girls, I never expected them to be perfect, but to always strive to do their best. I also hope that they are brave enough to make the right choices (rather than the easy of popular choices) and to step out of their comfort zone.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That’s what I meant by “perfect” – doing your best, because there is no perfection.
        I always enjoy your parental input. It seems to me like you did everything “right” when it comes to bringing up kids.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I hope I don’t give the wrong impression. If I had it to do over again there are things that I would do differently – probably many. I think I did the best I could at the time and even though they are all adults I still offer counsel and often (unsolicited) advice. I feel like there are many things I should have taught them that I didn’t.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I’m not surprised to hear you say that. No parent did 100% right. As agreed on, none of us are perfect. My parents definitely didn’t do “everything” right, but I look at the “overall” picture, and I am grateful to them. They did the best they could. Looking back, they do think they should have done this, or that differently, but that is because no one can see the future. You do what feels right in the moment. Circumstances can change, but how would you predict that.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. As a boy and the first born child, my parents have always tried to shape me into a Captain America character; you know, brave, physically fit, perfect, faultless and someone with amazing leadership qualities. It’s not all that bad but if there’s one thing I hate, it’s high expectations. Sometimes, I don’t meet up to the mark they’ve set for me.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Perfection is difficult to define anyhow and I have never been perfect for other.
    Hardly ever good enough, including parents.

    But the term “brave” annoys me.
    We keep on saying “do one thing each day that scares you”.
    I’d say “please stay in your comfort zone until you’re ready to take the next step”.
    And then we wonder why people are overworked and stressed.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. See, those suggestions/ quotes are not “one size fits all”. People are so different, and what works for me might not work for you.

      I dislike “do one thing each day that scares you”, because:
      1. Regular things don’t really scare me.
      2. I just “do” things, so what else am I supposed to do?
      3. Should I turn into doing illegal/ life risking actions if I run out of everything else to do?
      I like pushing myself, but there aren’t that many things for me to be doing it every day. Or if there are (adrenaline sports, etc.), I certainly don’t have the time, since I work full time.


  4. Good on you. Very clever girl. 🙂 and so on to your questions….I was raised in a family of five children and I am the second youngest. two of my three brothers were gay, though in those days (60”s and 70’s) it was not acceptable and so their personalities lended to traits of being “creative, sensitive and with no interest in sports” and they were ridiculed and often berated by my masculine father. They were totally expected to be “brave” and they were the bravest people I will ever know, just not in the way that word was defined. My sister and I were definitely expected to be “perfect” (which she was and I was not). I was a rebellious child and teen, a disappointment to my parents when I failed out of charm school. LOL
    Now a mum myself with a gay son and a bi-sexual daughter….I raised them to be who they are and love everything about them with no expectations other than being good people who love and serve in the world. They both have become incredible human beings who I couldn’t love more or be more proud of. And they are both brave and perfect in everyday.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. What a beautiful comment. Thank you for sharing both perspectives (a kid and a parent).
      You speak so lovingly of your kids. They are lucky to have you. I’m sure they learned a lot from you.


  5. I sure was faced with the pressures of being perfect whilst growing up which definitely made me feel disappointed when i failed to conform. But growing up changed everything for me, taking everything a step at a time and not trying too hard. Still love my parents for the upbringing but when i eventually become one i would want to train my children to feel they are the best versions of themselves everyday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad to hear that you still have a great relationship with your parents, and that you don’t hold a grudge. We can only do our best. No matter what you do, kids will be kids, and they will always find something to complain about when it comes to their parents.

      Liked by 1 person

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