#TuesdayThoughts

When I started blogging a bit more than a year ago, I did not think that blogging would be as personal as it has become. In fact, I thought it would have nothing to do with me. Yes, it would involve my opinions, but it would mainly focus on facts (news), prompting various “not always easy” discussions. When I think about what my intentions were, I realize that I had a very sterile image of an environment of people debating very objectively and sharing their opinions and views respectfully. I can talk about anything whether I feel passionate about it a whole lot, or a bit less. It would not really be personal.

Then came the CW (Creative Writing) series. Again, I thought it would be a very clean method of fiction writing. I would write it. People would read it and critique it. Again, something simple. Something I would be somewhat detached from.

I am not sure what made me imagine those things, but I thought I would be in a glass room, with a tiny mail box. When I would write something, I would put it in that box (blog), it would be then taken and distributed (Reader), then read, and some comments would be delivered back to my mailbox. That would be it. It was supposed to be a noncommittal back and forth. Blogging did not appear to be just another social media site to me. In fact, I was thrown for a loop when I realized how social it is.

Soon enough, I found out that my glass box was not working. It was too sterile. No interactions. No followers, no comments, no likes. What was the point of writing if no one was reading it? So I peeked through the mail slot, and saw a bustling world. That surely was not for me. That is when I realized for the first time that blogging is much like real life. I was not very keen on going out to the world. Staying in my room/ glass box was far more convenient. But then, someone waived at me. I made sure it was not at someone else. They even walked towards me, and so I slammed that mail box right back up. But by then, I got a little taste of what could be.

My glass box, which was previously a one-way mirror was transfigured into a regular glass box, and I was able to knock on it to get other people’s attention, and they would come closer, and waive, and we would communicate. It was still through glass, but I felt like we made connections.

Let us get real. There are people out there (maybe even you?), who lie about their identity. People who lie about their lives. I do not judge, because I understand it. I understand the appeal of being something you are not. Of trying to portray yourself in a certain way. Now, I do not like lying on here myself. Yes, I do keep some things vague, but I do not flat out lie. This made me wonder. Why do I not lie, if what I am doing here is trying to create a better world than my real life (No, I’m not delusional. I do not mean it literary.) A world that is more… perfect? What is such world? It is a world in which I feel understood. That is why I blog, and why I do not lie. I like myself, so I do not want to create this blogging persona/ life that would be the “dream” version of me. I AM just me. However, through blogging, I was hoping to express myself and have people understand the core of me.

Because of all that, I stepped outside of that glass box. At first, I enjoyed the wind on my face, and the sun shining directly at me. There were a few times during which it slightly rained on me, but I am not made out of sugar, so I survived. However, recently, I started feeling that I should retreat to that glass box, and turn the lights off.

To my surprise, blogging turned out to be just like real life. As I realized that, I laughed at my own silliness. I am not sure what I was expecting. The blogging world comprises of real people. People whom you interact with. People who still judge and make assumptions. People who are fake. People who live to please. People who want to avoid conflict at all cost. People who disagree with you, but will quietly back out of your blog so as not to upset you. People who get angry at you when you point out their shortcomings. People who are all about “me, me, me”. People who will complement you just to be nice, or in hopes that you will complement them back. People who ghost you. People who will find a new friend the minute they are bored with you. People who will commit blunders, but never admit to them, and/ or apologize. People who do not read your stuff, but will not admit it. People who will do anything for attention – post solely dramatic things, just to get people to comment nice things. One day they are leaving blogging, the next day they are coming back, only to follow it by a “I do not know what to do post”, followed by “I am back. Missed me?”. Do we not have enough drama in our “real life”? Or am I just too robotic to understand?

What I am trying to say is that blogging is VERY personal. You pour your heart out (whether you intend to, or not). You form bonds with people. It makes you feel alive. But then, once that dream comes crashing down, you realize that it is not just a bad dream. You really hurt. You get disappointed. You realize that these people are the same specie as those you are surrounded by in the real world. You realize that nothing changes. You are still misunderstood. You are still the same John/ Jane Doe as you are in the real world. No matter how ideal you tried to make the virtual world. It makes you think if you really are misunderstood, or are you the one who is “off”?

This post might come across as a bit depressing, or maybe whiny. That is not my intention, though. I just wanted to express my observations. As I started blogging last year, I did not want to be one of those “I ate this for breakfast” kind of bloggers. Not that I condemn you, but it just is not for me. I wanted to do “more”. Whatever that was supposed to mean.

If nothing else, what I want YOU to know is that I AM approachable. Maybe it does not seem like it to you, but I really am. I am a reasonable person. I welcome conversations. And most of all, I appreciate honesty.

In the end, if you’re being true to yourself, blogging will catch up with you. It will make you realize that you are just as alone as you were when you first started your journey.

Did blogging catch up with you yet? 

Is blogging an escape for you, or just a new prison?

Thoughts?

Stay golden,

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95 thoughts on “#TuesdayThoughts

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  1. Very honest post. You are right, it is still a kind of social media and we don’t really know the people who read and post on our blogs. For me, I write for myself as way to express my thoughts and see it more as an online journal. If someone likes what I share, of course I feel great about that. We all need encouragement and support, but I haven’t had any negativity or drama yet, so I can’t relate to that side of it. I can say that is why I don’t use my FB very often. Keep writing and expressing yourself. What you have to say is important and this forum is another place to do that. Live and learn right? Hope you have a great day!
    Maggie

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It’s great to hear that you haven’t encountered the negative sides. I hope it stays that way for you.
      You are right. Thank you for the encouragement!
      Enjoy the rest of the week. Labor Day Weekend is almost here!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Good post, honest and raw. When I started writing, I wanted to ask questions and pose different ideas. I would like to think that I am also approachable and open enough to discuss in detail and at length different topics.

    I also understand that some may say things that I do not like or appreciate. Then again, I am sure that I have done this myself, and will continue from time to time.

    In the end, I am happy that people are willing to read and comment. I write anonymously, to protect myself and my family. I am fully aware of the dangers and lengths that people will go to silence others. Cowardly, perhaps, but this is how I want to continue. Also, I am of no importance, it is the free discussion that is important. I recently removed the feature that made people identify themselves to comment. Everyone is allowed in bottomlesscoffee007 and people are allowed to say whatever it is they desire. I want to remove the stigma of speech and let people get things off of their chest without Identifying who they are.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That was my goal, too. Still is. Even though I post a mishmash of things nowadays.

      It is normal to like some, and not others. It goes both ways, naturally.

      That’s a nice perspective: “happy that people are willing to read and comment”. It is true.

      I kept nodding while reading your comment.

      I really hate when I have to input all my information just to leave a comment. Although I never saw this on your blog, I’m glad you did away with it. I see some people, who have comments available only for people who log in with their FB account. What is someone doesn’t have one, or doesn’t want to share their info?

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi, when I started I had very little interaction with people outside of the Community Pool. I did not engage easily (maybe a lack of confidence on my part) and also was hell-bent on being a ‘history’ blog, which meant that I could only ‘like’ history posts. That soon wore thin and I started to follow some lifestyle blogs. After my break, and I started blogging in earnest, I followed blogs that entertained me. I did have a Twitter exchange with someone after sharing my blog earlier this year and being a non-confrontational type of person, with zero confidence I did feel very deflated for a few days. But hey-ho we dust ourselves off and start again. I do think of blogging as a form of social media, that said, I wish there was a forum for just a chat sometimes, with people who are doing the same thing. I’ve probably 2 or 3 followers on my Facebook that blog occasionally (and I don’t know them too well) and sometimes it would be nice to be able to point something out or ask a question to someone who knows what you are on about!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Interesting perspective regarding why you didn’t engage easily. I think for me it was a way to not get disillusioned.
      Yes, following and interacting with a wide variety of blogs is a good way to go.
      Dust off, and move on indeed. I’m glad you got back up.
      I thought of the “chat” option before, too. It would be very cool. Have you tried contacting them through their contact page? I know not everyone has their main email linked to that, but I found it to be a viable way to communicate with some people. Once you contact someone that way, they get your email and can email you back. Sure, emails are not the same as chatting in real time, but they are a nice substitute for something we do not have.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s a good question – is blogging an escape or a new prison. For me it’s definitely an escape. I enjoy it. If I am away from home I don’t stress about not blogging because I’m having fun. I don’t feel I HAVE to post at any set point because that would take the joy out of it. I don’t think anyone would create a post to be proud of if it was obligation rather than pleasure. I’m quite obviously a hobby blogger and not someone who could make a career out of it though.
    I can see how easy it would be to fall down the rabbit hole into perceived expectations or obligation. Anything is a prison if you let it be.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Your last line really spoke to me: “Anything is a prison if you let it be.” I’ll have to keep it in mind…

      I guess, I impose a bit of that prison on myself, because I want to stay motivated, and be somewhat systematic with my blogging. For myself.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Given all the negativity that you have highlighted, I trust you are going to follow up with a Post of positives. People who are like you …. equally honest ….. equally sensitive, who follow you regularly. People who offer constructive comments if they feel so inclined. People who are genuinely happy to see a new dialogue from you.

    The Blogging world is, of course, not much different from the real world. No surprise there given it’s the same species involved in both worlds. It is so easy to focus on the liars and cheaters, without acknowledging that honest people are out there. It is so easy to conclude that if I disagree with you, then I am attacking you when, in fact, I might simply have an alternative perspective.

    I have the greatest respect for my Followers, as different as they are, because they seem to feel comfortable expressing themselves … and isn’t that what we want? I may not always agree with them, but that’s okay because I don’t have all “the answers” anyway. My Blog is a few years old now and records almost 2000 Followers, and yet I have only blocked 2 Comments during that time (due to inappropriate language).

    Dare I suggest that you take a step back, and contemplate your expectations from Blogging? It’s admirable that you are prepared share yourself with the Blogging community, but remember that sharing goes in both directions. These Comments are simply me sharing myself …. my thoughts … my experience. They are not intended to criticize you or denigrate you in any way. Please accept them in that manner……. and enjoy the world-wide audience that your Blog as access to!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tuesday was about feelings (#TuesdayFeeling), so that is how I felt. This wasn’t meant to be a thesis on pros and cons of blogging. I do realize that some people avoid negativity online, because of its presence in real life, but I just like to keep it real for the present moment. I believe that I express my gratitude and praise to the blogging community far more often than anything negative. You said it wonderfully “People who are like you …. equally honest ….. equally sensitive, who follow you regularly. People who offer constructive comments if they feel so inclined. People who are genuinely happy to see a new dialogue from you.” Indeed. These are the best. And they ARE out there.

      As I said, I was surprised to find out that it’s like the real world, but I am not sure why I wasn’t “aware” of it from the start. I believe it was because I liked the illusion of my own, perfect little world, in which I can control the factors more than in the real world. My post had nothing to do with a difference of opinion. I keep repeating it with every chance I get: “I welcome an exchange of ideas”. That is exactly why I am here for. We come from such diverse backgrounds, that we all have different experiences. I like discovering them. I welcome yours, if you welcome mine. At the end of the day, I might understand things better because of you, or maybe, you would change your mind because of my words. Or maybe we choose to agree to disagree. I love arguing, but ARGUMENTS are critical in such conversations.

      I’m not sure why 2 of your paragraphs are on freedom of speech of my Followers. Did I say something that led you to believe that is something I wasn’t a fan of? I think there might be some sort of a misunderstanding there. That is not what I meant to write about. In fact, I have been pretty lucky in terms of comments. I only delete obvious spam that is not weeded out by Akismet.

      Stepping back is something I’ve been doing, and will continue doing periodically. Actually, that is something I greatly recommend to other bloggers quite often. Re-evaluating your reasons for blogging is critical to the life of your blog, and your own well being.

      Again, you are free to comment the way you feel. I would never silence you because of the difference of your opinion.

      Have a great day, and thank you for your comment.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Once again, you and I are in sinc. It’s like we were meant to be friends and to know each other. I cherish all your comments, but mostly, I cherish your honesty. And even though only oneline, I am really beginning to cherish you as a “friend”.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I agree that blog world is similar to real life – real people behind each blog writing for their own reasons. I blog for myself. I don’t find blogging as a prison but I can imagine how some may view it that way. Not sure I view it as an escape either. As Breathing Deeply mentioned in her comment, I see my blog as a journal which helps me hash out ideas. I much prefer reading blogs than hanging out on social media though. Blogs are like magazines. You pick one and read through it. You may read something you like or something you don’t like. Leave a comment or not. If people read my blogs it and enjoy it, I’m glad. If not, no harm.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Definitely, we all want to express ourselves through blogging, but we all have different expectations from it.
      Interesting, how you do not see it as either prison, or an escape. Why do you blog, instead of journaling in private?
      That’s a great comparison of blogs to magazines. Spot on.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I do journal in private – the old fashion way with pen and paper! LOL I started blogging to keep in touch with family and friends then I started throwing things and started selling my pottery. So, I thought blogging about all things pottery was a natural extension of sharing my hobby-business with family, friends and customers. Bottom line, I enjoy it!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Ha! Maybe I created a completely different identity on WordPress. 😉
    Nah.
    But I do want to stay consistent in my opinion and sometimes I am afraid that emotions can make me something different today than what I stated a while back.

    I am an introvert and I am rather quiet than talk a lot.
    But when someone shows genuine interest in me, I open op.
    Maybe even more than I should.

    I think I am quite open on the blog and people can get to know me.
    If I am not, it’s because I can’t handle the overly supportive comments.
    And sometimes, any kind of comments overwhelm me.
    And it all becomes a prison.

    You are right, the blogging community is as fake as the real world.
    But bloggers are easier to avoid than your colleagues.

    As for you, partly I feel like we are very alike.
    Yet I have no idea about your age or gender or job.
    But it doesn’t seem to bother me as much. You might be the exception in that though 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Funny that you mention that, because I’ve been wondering if I “changed” my mind when I read your re-posted blogs. I think I commented on some of the original ones, but want to comment on these, too. And so I wonder if I’m contradicting myself. The thing is that I’m not discussing FACTS. I am giving my opinions, which are bound to change based on experience. And I see it as a good thing. We are evolving, so do our opinions.

      And that’s the thing – I’m rather quiet, too, but I can open up once I feel comfortable. That is kind of what I meant in my post – I open up and get disappointed. You and I spoke about it before.

      That is definitely for sure! You can always close the browser/ tab/ app/ whatever. It’s a bit harder in real life to get away from people that annoy you, but that are around a lot.

      I’m glad to hear that we can get along, even though you might not know everything about me. 🙂

      Like

  8. Not an escape & not a prison. But fun…I’m writing here only if I’m in the mood to share/create or for fun 🙂 that’s why I’m taking breaks (days-or-weeks) time to time, to change environment:) to keep it fresh haha

    Bloggers (at least 70% of them) r mad creative ppl with heavy mood swings…so we have to be careful:)) 😂🕺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Care to share the stats to support that 70% figure? My experience of bloggers has been that most are certainly creative (kind of a pre-requisite for blogging!), but I have only experienced 1 heavy mood swing … out of 1700+ Followers = 0.06%. Of course I am not combative, have completed many communications courses, have much diplomacy experience …. and accept that I am not perfect. Perhaps the old saying “One reaps what one sows” could be applicable? Just some thoughts.

      Liked by 2 people

            1. HI Ray …. now you are jumping to conclusions. Aggressive? Definitely not, but when somebody quotes numbers, I need to understand where they came from?

              If 70% of the blogosphere displays heavy mood swings, then new bloggers should be prepared for it. That is a very high percentage. If however, that was a totally subjective guess on your part, then your Followers need need to know that.

              Part of you understanding me, and me understanding you, is knowing whether assumptions and guesses are driving our respective Posts, or whether they are fact based. 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

                1. No reason to be scared. I will just assume that when you mention stats in future Posts, that they are not to be taken seriously. In fact, because your stats are meaningless (and you seem unlikely to admit to it), I will no longer be following your Blog.

                  Liked by 1 person

              1. I think Colinandray is just wondering where the 70% cane from—I’m curious to. I love stats and numbers and would love to know more about the blogging audience.
                Not being combative, just curious😊
                If it’s a made up number that’s okay to

                Liked by 2 people

        1. I find that the more diverse a blog, the more diverse the followers, which can make for some interesting experiences. Also, if you are somewhat controversial, you will get various feedback.
          But also, you can observe various people while browsing through other blogs. You do not need to have those interactions yourself to know they are there.
          You’ve been TERRIBLE to me, Ray. Just kidding 😉

          Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s the thing, we all experience different things. We don’t all follow the same people, and we don’t all have the same Followers.
        1. We could discuss the definition of creativity, because I don’t think every blogger is creative, but that is going off-topic.
        2. Same for mood swings. Maybe “emotional” would be a better word. I definitely met more than 1 “touchy” person, and I have less Followers than you.
        It just all goes to show that we have different experiences. Some people have more negative interactions than others. While some characteristics can attract similar traits, I do not think that is true 100% of the time. People are able to find you through a variety of ways. They may life your latest post, and decide to follow, and then they read something new you post and they realize they are unwilling to reconcile your convictions with theirs and they decide to go on a tantrum. Or they misunderstand your comment, and throw a fit, refusing to accept your explanation. That has happened to me. Is that because I’ve done it to someone else? Surely not.
        I completed many communication courses, too. I, too, have diplomacy experience. I do not believe to be combative. But I didn’t think we were comparing CVs?

        Like

  9. Your posts are always thought-provoking and I thank you for that! I say blogging is neither a prison nor an escape but rather more like a place where I am able to share my thoughts and ventures with the world. It is a small world right now but it is growing and I wish to simply make others smile so I still find no harm in that. I believe that there is no need to lie because we are simply posting our feelings about different topics so… what difference does it make whether or not I feel the same as any of you? At the end of the day we can simply read and appreciate (or not appreciate) and still agree to get along (or not) because we are as you say… just like the people in the real world. So… lying would just be a way to make this an escape which is not needed because it will (like you said) end up being the same as the real world when we choose to take off those blinders (if we are wearing them).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Just to be clear… I do not intend to call those who use this as an escape for pleasure in reading and connecting with others… Liers. I use this for that purpose as well but I simply mean that “this is NOT an escape from reality”.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you for the complements, Christy. I’m very happy to hear that my posts are more than just something that you read and forget the next second.
      I think you have a great approach towards all this, and I surely hope it stays that way for you. Now, you are trying to make others smile. What about you? Who makes you smile? Are OK with just giving? Or do you expect to receive anything from others? I came to realize that maybe I do expect too much (or the wrong things from the wrong people).
      As for the lying part – totally! But I know of some people, who just want to be praised and liked, etc., and so they lie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. For the most part… the comments that I have received thus far have made me more than smile. I do get my share of spam which I delete. I also get a few challengers but I welcome those because they give me a different perspective and substance for future posts. Real life plays out the same way… you get those who…
        1-support you wholeheartedly
        2-support you even if it is fake
        3-contradict you at times
        4-contradict you always
        Bottom line… welcome them all because they help shape us as we try to progress.

        Sorry… ANOTHER long answer from me. You bring this side out of me! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That is true – these people help shape up. We learn.

          I absolutely adore lengthy comments. But yours is nowhere near long.

          Great list of people.
          Have a wonderful rest of the day, and I hope to see more of your long comments!

          Liked by 1 person

  10. Wow, this post has just given me a whole new perspective on blogging. I never thought of blogging in the same way as other social media, probably because I’m quite comfortable in my own glass box at the moment and I only post once a week. Also, I’ve looked on blogging mainly as a means to share information, although I’ve read some incredibly personal posts from other bloggers that did emphasise the community aspect. Thanks for another thought provoking post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading my rant. It’s kind of unusual for me, but I felt like it was due. And the Hashtag Weekend posts seem to be working well for such.
      Also, thank you for referring to the “glass box” in your comment. I thought it was the coolest thing when I envisioned it. But it does not seem to be trending among other comments. I’m just being a bit silly here, but thank you for appreciating my creativity regarding it.

      See, I started like you – sharing information, but then I realized that I would like to share it with MORE people. Here is the human greed. We always want more. And the more you want, the more obstacles you have to jump through, and more mud you have to walk through.

      Again, thank you for reading.

      Like

    1. You managed to fit so many things into such a short comment. Well done.
      You’re right that blogging is so much… more than FB. I’m not sure if I always feel uplifted when I read various posts, and I’m not sure my posts are uplifting. But the latter is because I don’t expect it from others. I know some people like reading blogs for motivation – related posts. I’m not too big a fan of those. That’s why blogging is great, though – you can always find something well suited to yourself. And yes, it seems like you get to know so many different things from other cultures, that it makes you feel like you’ve seen a new part of the world.

      Like

  11. Blogging is a place where I can write what I like, usually in response to a prompt that has attracted me, like you I wondered what to make of it when I started and then I discovered the weekly writing prompts which opened up the blog world to me. I was writing long before I started blogging so I’ve never considered it a prison of any kind but rather a place to meet other writers and share my work. Over time I have not felt compelled to write for any prompt in particular even though some prompts I feel I should participate as I want to see them succeed. But I do pick and choose as to when I’ll write. I admire the people who participate in every prompt, I can’t do that the pressure is far too great.
    It is good to know you are approachable, I never doubted it..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I marvel at those who participate in every prompt as well. Ultimately, that is something that I would like to do, as it seems to stimulate my brain’s creativity, and I find just free writing easier that way.

      I need to catch up on your posts (as I do on many others). Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience. Glad it is still YOUR domain.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. 1st of all, I love to read what you think. Great subjects! I also appreciate your comments.
    2nd of all, I was unaware that you follow my son’s blog as well!

    I do pour my heart and soul into my blogs. I have been blogging for nearly 4 years, and no one reads what I write. You have over 1000 followers after 1 year. I have 34 on one and 17 on the other.

    You’ve read my stuff. Is it stupid? Is it too long? Is it boring? Is it too deep or controversial? I have no clue. I know how it feels to be in that glass box, but mine’s black. I can’t look out and no one looks in. Now days, I write just to practice getting my thoughts in order. I figure no one will hear them unless they read them out loud.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Who is he? That’s kind of cool to know.

      I read your posts and I like them. I comment on most (if not all), but I feel like I’m not getting much back (it’s a bit like I’m talking to a wall) (you don’t respond much to comments).

      A black box. Wow. That’s a bit depressing. I hope it becomes at least like mine (a one way mirror).

      Blogging is definitely good to train creativity, or just get the thoughts out of your head, so you can re-arrange and make sense of them. Everything get a bit chaotic once other people are allowed in.

      Like

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