Responsibility; stop blaming others for your own failures.

Why do we hold others responsible for our own happiness, yet expect no responsibility for our actions?

If you have read one of my earlier posts entitled “Tu Morrow“, you would know how serious I am about (baby) names. (If you have not read that post, I highly recommend that you do. Please feel free to share your comments there, too.) The purpose of this post is not to re-state what I already said in my earlier post, but to talk about responsibility and the assignment of blame.

First thing is first, let me tell you what brought on these thoughts. As per usual, I was browsing through the news pages as I needed a break from work a few days ago, when I sighed. Yet another article about someone complaining about the airlines. (For some of my previous posts regarding airplane related complaints, please see here and here.) The title basically said that a mother was upset, because an airline employee mocked her daughter’s name. I was hooked. I just HAD TO know what that name was. To my utter surprise, I found out that the kid’s name is Abcde. No, this is NOT a joke. Supposedly, the name is pronounced “Ab-city” (as if it is any better), which makes me wonder if maybe the word “zebra” should really be pronounced “lion”. Who knows, right? (Would you not prefer to pronounce it Ab-CD?)

When I discovered what the girl’s name was, I could not stop shaking my head. Who in their right mind would name their child THAT? Well, apparently, more people than you would think. As of right now, there seem to be AT LEAST 373 women names Abcde in the U.S. The first Abcde was born in the year of 1990. However, 2009 was the year in which that name was the most popular – 32 babies were named that. We cannot be exactly sure how many people with that name exist in this country, because the Social Security Administration only issues a list of names that occur at least 5 times in a given year. There were some years in which Abcde was not reported, but that does not mean that no kids were born with this name. It just means that the number of kids with that name was fewer than 5. That is also the reason why we cannot be sure that there are no boys with that name. It is possible that there are a couple, but not enough to be reported (less than 5 per year). For one reason, or another, it seems that the name originated in Hawaii, since the first five births with that name were recorded there. 

What happened at the airport – you ask?

In no way am I defending the actions of the flight attendant, because I do think she went too far. Aside from giggling and pointing out the name to her co – workers, she also posted a photo of that girl’s boarding pass on Facebook. (If you have read some of my posts, like this one, you would know to be careful with what you post on your social media platforms.) How is it that people are still silly enough to post things to Facebook that can get them in trouble? To me, posting a picture of a boarding pass is a breach of privacy, and that definitely is something for which I condemn that airline employee. Sure, I will also admit that it was not tactful of that flight attendant to laugh and poke fun at the girl’s expense within earshot from Abcde and her mother. 

Would I be entertained by such name? Yes, I would.

There are certain names that are banned, and it is done so for a reason. I am surprised that Abcde is not one of them. It is not creative. It is plain lazy. It might be amusing for the parent to name their kid something “special”, but it might not be equally as fun for the kid. 

Did you know that someone actually named their son “John”, with their last name “Doe”? How amusing, right? Wrong. John/ Jane Doe is used for deceased people who have not been identified. Whenever this guy is asked what his name is, and replies: “John Doe”, he is met with extra scrutiny, as people want the “real” name. If you worked in the Human Resource department and you saw an application with the name “Abcde” on it, would you not think that it was an error? Would you take it seriously? Or would you think that it is a joke, and dismiss it? These are just few of the MANY obstacles some people have to face because of their names.

Having said that the airline worker crossed a few lines she should not have had, I would like to circle back to the mother. Why is it that the mother is shocked that people are making fun of her daughter? Did she not think that would happen when she was choosing the name? I mean, c’mon! As adults, we should look at what lays ahead, not just what is here and now. We should be able to predict at least some aspects of the future. One of the news sites reported that the little girl asked her mother why she was being laughed at, which means that the kid was not aware that her name was “special”. It was the mother’s right to name her kid “Abcde”, but if she was doing so, she should have been aware of all the negative things that will come with it. If I was her, and decided to go with that name (Never!), I would own it. I would make sure it would not bother me, but more importantly, I would make sure that it did not bother my kid. As early on as possible, I would have told her what her name meant and why I chose it (maybe there is some sweet, secret meaning behind it). Moreover, I would warn her that people will make fun of her, but to not pay attention. The thing is that someone, somewhere is BOUND TO joke about her name at some point, and she should be prepared. There needs to be a lot of talking, explaining, and self – confidence boosting involved, if one wants their kid to have such a name, and not be traumatized. Of course, once the child becomes of legal age, they can change their name if they so wish.

In today’s world we are so focused on what other people do wrong that we forget that WE are responsible for some of those things. If you do not want your kid to be made fun of, do not give them weird names. 

I will repeat that some people just should not have kids.

If she could not take the time to come up with a better name for her kid than Abcde, then all her passwords must be “password”.

Is Abcde a cool name?

If you were that flight attendant, would you be amused by the name on the boarding pass?

Do you often times point fingers at others before taking a closer look at yourself first?

Do you believe that we can make everyone sensitive to everything to a point where there will not be any ridiculing, or bullying in the world?

Stay golden,

***

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57 thoughts on “Responsibility; stop blaming others for your own failures.

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  1. The mother is an ass. My daughter has a Gaelic name which was fine when we lived in England as people there are well used to Irish names. She’s named after my mother too so it’s a family thing. It’s not usual here in the US so I have an element of sympathy for unusual names but not made up weird shittery like this. I expect the next one will be Ella Minnow Pee and they’ll both be addicted to XTC

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I love them too but sometimes they don’t cross the Atlantic! One that even I think is awful is Caoimhe. Go on, guess how to pronounce it! If that’s not bad enough, imagining strangulated vowels, it’s pronounced Queeva. If you can’t see bad nicknames being made from that you’re not the person I think you are LOL

        Liked by 1 person

  2. In naming my children, I had 6 goes at it, we did consider the name when they were teenagers. Hence they were all given names which stood the test of time and fashion. I heard about the incident you mention above. So often the thing about names is that within six months you see your child as a fine example of that name. One of my boys is Lucas and right from birth he was just that, A LUCAS, individual and his own person.
    I do like you question the reasoning behind some names. I came across a child whose name was spelt Kerosine – pronounced Ker – son – ee. Her mother saw it on the side of a drum one day.
    Your post was most entertaining, our names in adulthood are what they are, they mark as for who we are.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. No I didn’t take part in that November writing thingy, I’ve been having some foot surgery this past week and that has left me living with one working foot which is very inconvenient when running to catch a bus.
        I was thinking about the name thing and realising some of us have been given names we sit quite comfortably with. Hope you are doing well too.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. The flight attendant was a jerk for posting a photo of the girl’s boarding pass on Facebook. Seriously, how thick can you get?

    But the mother, though. What was she thinking naming her daughter that name? Who would hear the name and wouldn’t laugh?

    Surely, she must have seen this coming the very moment she considered naming her daughter that. She’s thicker than the flight attendant if she had never thought that giving her daughter that name would always make her the joke of the day.

    I feel bad for the little girl.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I don’t think that we can make everyone sensible to a cause . If we could there would be no wars or bullying anywhere.
    I wouldn’t make fun of someone called Abcde, I can laugh with her if she laughs at it but not on my own.
    I think that the flight attendant was out of her right

    Liked by 1 person

  5. First of all, people need to stop messing with someone else’s information on Social Media!!
    It’s why I quit Facebook, years ago. Each time I got the notification that I was “tagged” in a picture where everyone looked all cute and I looked like I was pooping!
    The flight attended was wrong, SO WRONG.

    Some former Yugoslavian names include Jagoda, which means Strawberry.
    Or Snjezana, which means Snow white.
    It’s not a new hipster name. Some old ladies are called like that.

    Speaking of which, remember how as a kid we all refused to eat fruit?
    Nowadays half of the phone users (wild guess) has an Apple.

    There are also names which you can’t figure whether it’s a boy or girl.
    My name is like that. I think only Italy has it as a male name, but many times people thought I was an Italian boy.
    Some of the Dutch names which can be both are Rene and Robin.

    The standard of Normal will change over time.
    And names like ABCDE and North West will be like any other.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry for the spam!
        But I just remembered reading an article, long time back.
        It was a letter from a mother who’s 13 year old daughter was named ISIS.
        She was bullied for the name because of the terror group. But the parent’s intention was the Egyptian God ISIS.

        I’d like to say that people should stop with all these exotic names, but then again, I used to have a classmate Peter. He was teased for being Peter Pan and that he would never grow up.

        Can someone please write a guide to life which specifically states how often times per minute I am allowed to breathe without getting any comments?!?!?!?!?!?

        Liked by 1 person

    1. People seem to love tagging other people, while I think it’s a complete breach. First, you should ask all the people in the picture if you can post. And then ask if you can tag. Otherwise, it should be banned.

      Strawberry, or Snow White don’t seem as bad. I mean, I don’t like them, but naming your kid “The Alphabet”?

      Your apple joke was pretty funny/

      Yes, the gender neutral names can be annoying.

      North West, Saint West and Chicago West (there’s something wrong with me for knowing that)… I will not even comment. I hope you’re wrong, though, and the fashion won’t take.

      Like

      1. When people are pregnant, they never really want to tell the name until they child is born.
        Probably because they don’t want to be critisized. But maybe sometimes a little advice is not that bad.
        Although it should be common sense.

        I like giving names.
        I named all our previous fish and I always ask the name of pets from others.
        I ask Jasper how he would name a random animal. Tigers, lion, rabbits.
        I think it’s fun topic.

        I think the topic of “be yourself / be different” are taken too far. Sometimes you have follow some unwritten rules to not ruin the life of your children.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I agree with the being different being pushed too far often times.

          I don’t usually ask people about their thoughts regarding specific names, but I do ask them sometimes for name ideas when I’m writing.

          Like

  6. Exactly Goldie, I think we’ve talked about this before. All of these crazy names make it that much harder to live up to and remain somewhat normal or anonymous. For life and people being difficult to begin with, when you give a kid a “different” name, the odds just got that much higher.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dZ8mZhdGuw The mom should have named her kid Abcdef then at least it could have been Ab Ka Def like the song. One mother, unable to think of a great name for her baby girl heard this in the hallway and thought it was the most beautiful word. So she called her child Placenta. I had a student named Libbie whose last name was Bell. Have you seen some of the celebrity names? They want their children to stand out and then demand respect for something that disrespects their children. Drives me crazy.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. First of all the flight attendant was certainly unprofessional and out of line. With such an unusual name however the mother should be prepared for and use to answering questions about it. She must also be able to assure her child that it’s uniqueness makes it special and not weird (building the child’s self confidence).
    Though I don’t consider my choices extreme my daughter’s names each have a bit of uniqueness to them. Hanna, Kara (pronounced car -a) and Lindell (named for her two grandmothers Linda and Ella)
    There were lots of Ashley’s, Jessica’s and Sarah’s at that point and I wanted something different.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the names you picked are great. Maybe not as popular as the others, but still within the “norm”.
      You’re right – if done well, and the kid proves resilient enough, it might not cause TOO many issues for her mental health. But one wrong move… and she’s traumatized forever.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Thanks for posting this, I heard that something had happened but didnt bother to find out what, your posts are actually keeping me up with current events. Yes to everyone who said WTH re the mothers motivation and the behaviour of the flight attendant. And that little girl will be explaining her name for the rest of her life, unless as you said she changes it when she is older. THINK PEOPLE!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. You stated – “Why is it that the mother is shocked that people are making fun of her daughter? Did she not think that would happen when she was choosing the name?”

    My response – Are you saying she was asking for it?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I totally agree with this post! The flight attendant should not have posted it on Facebook but I can’t blame her for finding the name funny. Yeah, bullying is unacceptable but it cannot be ABOLISHED, right? And yes, maybe Abcde is a very ‘special name’ but what about the ‘special treatment’ that would be given to her kid in the years to come? Some might argue that the flight attendant should be less ‘judgy’ about people’s names and I absolutely agree with that but dude, you gotta name your kid something sensible! Not something made up!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. omg there are indeed names that make you shake your head and almost call protective service on the parents! Like… John Doe?? REALLY??? what would anyone do something like that to their child??? It makes me angry. Great post as usual!

    Liked by 1 person

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