Is there someone in your life whom you have recently forgiven for their transgressions?
Maybe someone hurt you and you are now trying to figure out if you will be able to forgive them.
Chances are that all of you had to forgive someone at some point in your lives. I wish that we never trespassed against others and vice versa, but I do not think that kind of Idylla exists.
I hope that you are not someone who never forgives. You can remember all you want, but to forgive is to grant yourself peace and freedom. Yes, forgiveness is our gift to others when they ask for it in hopes to repair what they have broken, but it is so much more important to us and our well-being.
The offenses are of different magnitudes. It is easier to forgive someone for being late a few minutes than it is for not showing up at all. Those might seem trivial to you. We all have different thresholds when it comes to getting offended and needing an apology.
However, I noticed that there is another factor that drives my forgiveness, namely the nature of the relationship with the offender. It seems rather obvious once you think about it, but it was a curious realization for me. It turns out that I do not always use the same measuring stick, which I guess makes my decisions arbitrary.
It can sway both ways. Sometimes you have a hard time forgiving those closest to you because, well… they are close to you, while other times you forgive them much easier because, well… they are close to you. See the paradox?
Do you forgive easily?
Do you live by “forgive, but do not forget”?
How often do you ask for forgiveness?
What makes you decide whether you should forgive someone, or not?
Stay golden,
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One day at a time... 
I always forgive my children. I forgive friends whom I’d like to keep but I don’t forget, or at least I try not to because people tend to repeat the same behaviors.
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Do you break up with your friends if they keep committing offenses?
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Not formally, but I’ll let things fade away.
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I can understand that. For a greater good.
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I was just discussing this topic yesterday with some friends!
I guess you would forgive your children no matter what. Although I wouldn’t let it come that far. If anyone thinks it’s not possible to limit and control your children, I would like to present to you: mr. Andrea’s dad.
Sometimes I couldn’t forgive someone without forgetting it. So I simply needed time.
But in general there is no need for me to forgiven someone, because even though I said friends earlier in this comment, they will be leaving to the other side of the world in 2 days. So then it’s back to me and Jasper.
And honestly, apart from him being slow and indecisive, Jasper has in my eyes no flaws.
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My parents were strict, too, and I don’t hold it against them. I think parenting requires disciplining and teaching, not letting the kids do whatever they want.
I laughed when I read “slow and indecisive”. Somehow you made him sound great anyway.
What about the rest of your co-workers? Do you think you’ll forgive them easily?
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Some colleagues I will not forgive, but I am about to forget about ugly, bullying faces. So that’s good enough.
As for now, I try to stay away from colleague drama. I knew this job could allow me that.
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That’s good. Drama is so unnecessary.
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I guess i live by “forgive, but do not forget”.
Of course we have to forgive if we want to be forgiven.
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Very well said. Otherwise, it would be hypocritical.
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😁😁
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I forgive easily. I’m the kind of person you would offend now and I would spend the entire day ranting about how much you hurt me. But in the end, I would sleep the anger off. I would wake up the following day and try as much as possible to forgive the offender, just for the sake of my peace of mind. Of course, there are some offenses that would be too grave to forgive immediately, but whether it’s a small offense or a serious one, I never forget it. Some wounds don’t heal completely.
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I used to hold grudges. Now, not so much because of my peace of mind. I value it greatly.
What if people never asked you for forgiveness? Would you still sleep it off and act like nothing happened?
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No, never. I wouldn’t act like nothing happened. One thing I hate is when people offend me and they don’t admit that they did, or they don’t swallow their pride and ask for forgiveness, which is the right thing to do.
In cases like this, I would keep my distance from such people. I would try to forget them and the offense they committed. I would forget the incidence, not because I forgive them, but because it takes great, great energy to hold a grudge.
Happy February, Goldie.
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I would forget the offense*, not incidence.
See, Goldie, this is why I said WordPress needs to add an edit button! 😒
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You could say “incident”. It’s alright. We’re human. We’re not perfect.
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Happy February, indeed!
That’s what I was wondering about. I knew a person just like that. Never again.
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Q. Do you forgive easily?
A. Sometimes yes and sometimes no, hate is easy, whereas love is hard.
Q. Do you live by “forgive, but do not forget”?
A. Gosh, I wish I could give you a better answer, but I think it’s all so fluid, based on my frame of mind, the person, what they may or may not have done, etc. honestly Goldie, I’m a flip flopper.
Q. How often do you ask for forgiveness?
A. From other people, hardly never. From God, sometimes. I don’t want to be indebted to others, and for that reason, I don’t ask for forgiveness.
Q. What makes you decide whether you should forgive someone, or not?
A. I guess how much I feel they are worth to me in the moment or down the road.
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I used to have a hard time forgiving. Now, I’d like to think that I’ve matured. And it doesn’t mean that I give people the green light to do whatever they see fit, but hatred is not healthy.
An interesting perspective on asking for forgiveness. I never see it as being indebted. But it seems like humiliation in a way.
So do you just keep on living like you’ve done nothing wrong, expecting others to let things slide?
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No, I take things to the heart, probably my own trespasses against others even harder that something they may have done to me.
If someone wants to forgive me, then that’s on them. When someone does forgive me, I often take it harder that if they had not.
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Interesting…
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You’re right but there sometimes a person offends you and it takes everything in you to forgive because at the end of the day are they truly remorseful for hurting you …
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Most definitely!
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