Recently, I have been thinking about my purpose in life. Unfortunately, I do not have an answer to the million dollar question of: “What is my reason for being?” Actually, I am not even looking for it, to begin with. What I am focusing on are things I am good at and things that I enjoy doing.
Since I have always enjoyed studying human psychology, I enjoy engaging in in-depth conversations with people. If you knew me in real life, you would know that I can play the devil’s advocate quite well. You would know that I like arguing. But not the heated, emotional arguing. The passionate, yet cool kind. To me, it is all about seeing a different perspective. Getting to know things that you have not thought of before.
Being a fan of philosophy, I decided to look into some things Aristotle said. “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” As much as I like the quote, I cannot give credit to Aristotle for it. Even though the Internet claims those are the words of that philosopher, in fact, only half the quote is his. The other is not.
So as not to go into a “he said, she said”, I choose only to focus on that precise quote.
Those of you who are slightly interested in politics should have heard about the Mueller report and the end of the investigation. I will not ask you what you think about the results (Although, you are welcome to share them. Free speech, etc.). However, I would like to discuss my thoughts regarding people’s reactions to it. Mainly, the conclusions did not sway anyone. Those who believed in A still do. Those who believed in B, still do.
It made me realize a bigger problem. I have said it many times before, but I miss being able to debate any and everything. Many people feel strongly about certain things, but not many people enjoy actually discussing them. It seems as if the only goal of a conversation is to convince the other party of your truth. But that is not always the case. Sometimes people just want to talk. To hear their ideas out loud. To test them. To hear other people’s opinions. To test those. To combine the truths into a universal one.
People think that they should not get into debates with others who have opposing views, because they will not change their minds. While I understand that not everyone is always up for a debate, I would like to assure you that conversations are good. Rest assured that you can listen to what I have to say and at the end of the day, still disagree with me. I will not think less of you if you do decide to change your mind. In fact, that is something that rarely seems to happen anymore. But the most important thing to me is being able to “entertain” a specific idea. Being able to look at it objectively. It is possible to stand by your views and still admit to understanding the reasoning behind other person’s opinions. That is something I crave most of all in an exchange of arguments. More than proving that I am right. More than changing other people’s minds.
Chances are that no matter how much I disagree with you, I will see why you think you are right. I ask that you do the same. I promise not to think less of you if you listen instead of just saying “no”. In fact, I will respect you all the more.
***
P.S. Has anyone noticed post scheduling time acting up? I chose the same time I have been using for the past three months, yet all of a sudden, WP decided that it would post two hours later than I scheduled it for. I am glad I caught it in time to publish the post when it was intended.
Stay golden,
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One day at a time... 
excellent post. I am lucky to have a few key people in my life with whom I can have healthy and deep debates, ‘people with whom respect runs deep enough that differing opinions on a subject to not alter our relationships with one another, but whose debate make each of us stronger.
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So well said. Count yourself lucky.
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I will dive into debates when/if I have a strong opinion/understanding of a subject, otherwise I tend to listen to others debate about subjects I know little/nothing about. I absorb the information from both sides to arrive at an understanding that forms my own opinion. I generally don’t care if others think differently than me and I really don’t try to change anyone’s mind when debating. I feel as though it’s a win if we both say our piece, understand the other’s position and agree to disagree.
Re: post scheduling – it occasionally acts up like that. When there are tons of other WP posts scheduled for the same time, they all land in a queue and are rolled out in waves. You can always force the post though. I always schedule posts for the same time, but they go live all over the clock. Meh…
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Ditto.
Listening to others about things you don’t know much about is important. It can be such a teaching experience.
Thank you for letting me know regarding the posting times. I did have to force it to post when I wanted it to post in the end, but it annoyed me, because if I wasn’t there to do so, it wouldn’t post when I wanted it to. I’ve never experienced the random posting, so thanks for the heads-up. If it happens to me I won’t freak out … too much. I thought that maybe it had something to do with Daylight Saving, but we’ve changed our clocks weeks ago. Why did it act up now? I re-applied my time zone settings and things have gone back to normal. Let’s hope it sticks.
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The best I’ve been able to figure out about the random post times with scheduling is server load. It seems like there are tons more posts on the days my scheduling is delayed.
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How curious. But that would explain the lag, I guess.
You seem to be a wealth of knowledge when it comes to blogging. Have you thought of adding a help section to your blog? You could tips and tricks and opinions on WP stuff.
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Not really – only because I’ve created this blog to be linked to my Avon side business. There are already tons of other blogs dedicated to tips and tricks – I’m not terribly interested in jumping into that crowded ring. Friends don’t usually hesitate to ping me when they have questions and I don’t hesitate in answering – that’s good enough for me! 😁
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Gottcha.
I will make a mental note to reach out to you as a resource, though. Is that alright?
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Sure thing! 🙂
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I love deep conversations and I love listening to different points of view. I really enjoy it. What matters is the quality of the discussion. I don’t appreciate the people’s hatred when they get obsessively passionate about a topic and they spread contagious bad energy around.
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I know exactly what you mean. I’m glad to see that they are passionate about something, but if it overshadows the conversation and is more about “me, me, me”, then it loses its value.
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I had a friend of mine who you could enjoy talking on any topic with. She was really smart and her points were brilliant. Like old good English humor. But she was able to tell you stories with such hatred that you’ could instantly lose interest in talking to her. I did.
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That’s sounds a lot like the term ‘two-faced’. One on one convo, you get one person. One-sided (telling a story to a captive audience), you get someone else. People like that creep me out.
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I’m not sure if that is exactly what Mimi meant. I understood it a bit differently, but I might be wrong.
When I see someone being one way with me and then being all about getting a spotlight in the crowd, a siren goes off in my head. Next!
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I agree with that assessment, too.
Her description of her friend being good to talk to on any topic but, telling stories, clearly showing a less desirable side to her personality…either this friend is a joy to talk to or…she’s not. There ‘appears’ to be some cognitive dissonance going on. 🤔
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True, true…
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Wasn’t it just a sign of how passionate she was about the topic she was talking about?
But I understand what you’re saying. I can do that sometimes, too. Although, it’s usually with only the closest people who know me- know me.
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Being passionate about a topic – I’m totally fine with this. But there are people who talk just in order to fill the silence. So they can talk about anything which doesn’t bring anything valuable. There are also people whose thoughts are extremely interesting, but they express them in such a negative way that you barely can stand it.
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I hear ya.
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If they are interesting, I do try to get over the negativity. Maybe ask them why they insist on presenting it that way? They might not even be aware.
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There are some people who just like to make a big noise over small things.
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Oh, yes. So true.
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Well said.
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Indeed.
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Mueller…don’t care.
I don’t discuss ideas and viewpoints with anyone, anymore. I will post comments or opinions, here (WP) but, discuss? Debate? Nope. Not going there. I have encountered way too many people who can’t take another’s opinion and freak out. I don’t do ‘freak outs’.
Post scheduling? I don’t use that function.
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I hear ya. Been there, done there.
But I feel like I’m being reborn. I thread carefully, but I don’t want to be silenced. I’m learning to handle people who freak out without closing my grip on their necks.
You are such a regular poster that I for sure thought you used the “scheduling” feature here.
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I have a shorter fuse for stupid behavior. 99% of the time, I walk away. So far, restraint has kept me from s*** slapping (and fear of an assault charge). But, I have been forced to very loudly tell someone to get the f*** out of my face.
Nope. On the fly. I might start a draft and finish later but, I post…live.
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My fuse has grown considerably throughout the years, so that I wouldn’t end up killed or behind bars. Lol.
It’s becoming shorter again, though.
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EVERYONE is different. Even identical twins have variations. No two people, or a group, are going to agree on everything. They are not supposed to. It’s what keeps all of us from being the equivalent of Xerox copies. But, the exchange of ideas, thoughts, opinions & stories shouldn’t devolve into violence. Bad behavior=Bad parenting.
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For sure.
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Yes, everyone should think as he pleases as long as he/ she doesn’t insult or accuse a race, an ethnic group or a religion.
Yes I’ve heard of Muller’s report. And I’m very sorry that all the trouble he went through was for nothing apparently. Trump is still clean as a sauce pan. 😕 I am disappointed!
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Like with any results – some will be happy, some will be sad.
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Exactly!
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I love debating! Adore it! I can’t debate because people do not understand the difference between a debate and an argument. They cannot disconnect an argument from a fight. In any fight, one will win and walk away and the other will bleed in the dirt. Debating, however, means sharing ideas and perspectives. The outcome of a debate is that both people say, “Ooooo, that was interesting. I’ll have to think some more on that!”
When you go to a debate contest in forensics, you don’t choose the winner based on whether the other party changed their minds. You judge on the facts in evidence, presented within a logical framework, and the merits of the delivery. Use of emotion is not prohibited, but there are no personal attacks allowed. This is NOT how it’s supposed to go! https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=Jane+you+ignorant+slut#id=1&vid=5d6c8b5a6d8acea3c05435eccd102fe2&action=click
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SNL back in the day when it was funny. Good times.
Totally agree with what you said. Well worded.
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I posted last weekend, and it even changed the date it was supposed to publish. I’d meant for the post to be published on Saturday, but it published on a Friday. I was left wondering if I chose the wrong date. It changed the hour for that post, too, to one hour later. I thought this was me not paying attention to the details.
I absolutely agree with you on being able to see things from a different perspective and objectively. I don’t enjoy debate because I don’t feel that it’s one of my strong skills. And politics has never been a major topic of interest for me. BUT teaching has been teaching the importance of these. When teaching argumentative writing, there’s always this reminder to provide evidence for those arguments. Which always challenges us to be more informed on the topics we’re arguing about. And I’ve also noticed how politics and education intersect and that has been challenging me to learn more about the politics in education.
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Interesting…
There were a couple of times when it was pre-set to PM instead of AM, but I caught it in time. I, too, thought that I was just not careful enough, but now I wonder…
It’s good that you are coming out of your shell a little. Writing seems to be easier than talking, but it can definitely help prepare.
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