You are in the heat of the moment.
You and your partner are locked in a tight embrace.
Hands moving up and down.
Your lips glued to their lips.
In the olden days reciprocity was understood as consent. Today? Not so much.
Today, we need to obtain consent for every move we make. Some people joke that attorneys should be involved so that there is not chance for litigation at a later time.
“Stop, stop! Are you sure you want to kiss me?” – he asks.
She continues to kiss his neck.
He pulls away, stands up and makes her say the words.
“Yes, I wanted to kiss you, but you have ruined the mood” – she says while putting her shoes back on.
In order to assist us with getting consent (or avoiding getting sued), an Argentinian company came up with a “consent condom“. Their tagline is: “If they don’t say yes, it means no.” How does it work? Supposedly, you need four hands to open a box containing the rubber. So far, this product is a limited edition one, available at some bars and events in Buenos Aires. It is said to roll out to the public later this year.
As you can imagine, I have an opinion about that product. However, before I go pointing out its faults, I will say this: “It is an innovative product with some good in mind. Kudos to them for trying.”
It is my belief that this product will be sought out by curious people, wanting to see how it works. When I first read about a box that requires two people to open it, I was skeptical. (Spoiler alert: I still am.) It seems like there are two buttons on four sides of the box, which need to be pressed at the same time. Maybe I could maneuver my fingers in such a way that I could open it by myself? (If anyone from Tulipan reads this and wants me to review this product as a sequel to this post, please go to my Contact page and send me a message.) Or maybe I could use other items to help hold some buttons in place while I press the others? Also, what is the box made out of? Can I not just tear it open?Another issue that I thought of was the potential of someone not having fingers, or a hand/ an arm. What then? Admittedly, my first thoughts went towards the adequacy of the design. As you can see, the product is nowhere near perfect.
Another thing is that there must be just one condom in that box. How expensive will that be? If there is so much tech packed into an otherwise cardboard box, the prices must be accordingly adjusted. And are people not complaining about the prices of rubber already?
Where will the condom fit? Do you need to have a closet full of boxes? This idea is not really space friendly.
Since this product was made in order to raise awareness about consent, let us talk about that aspect of the new item. Does it solve the problem of consent? Not really. Since people can change their minds at any time, agreeing to open a condom together does not mean that those two people will end up having mutually accepted relations. Either one of them can opt out at any time, and the other one will not be able to do anything about it. “But she opened the condom box with me” will not be an appropriate excuse. Will it be possible to force someone to open the box with you so that you would be covered in case assault charges are brought against you at a later time?
The #MeToo movement has made it its mission to ruin men. I do not negate rape. There are victims of sexual assault on many levels. However, like in any other situation, there are people who are innocent, yet they are caught up in the after effects of the tsunami. In this instance I mean men, who are worried to even look at a women, in fear of getting sued for harassment. This condom helps them a little, by adding another piece of evidence that “she wanted it”.
Unfortunately, it does not seem like this new condom protects potential victims of sexual assault. The consent condoms are not universal. There are plenty of other brands people have access to. And do rapists really care about safety and condoms in the first place? Probably not.
What do you think of this new invention?
What are your views on consent?
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