HW: #MondayMotivation; Be open to the possibilities.

Today’s message is that of empowerment. For all. Women AND men.

Some of you might know that I have a weird relationship with motivational quotes. I do not hate them, but I also do not love them. There are some that I totally do not relate to, find stupid, or just plain old disagree with. However, there are also some that I do not disagree with. That I can relate to. That I even consider wise. We are all different. What speaks to you might, or might not speak to me. And what has an impact on me might, or might not have the same effect on you.

But this post is not about motivational quotes.

This post is about you. Yes, YOU.

What if I was to tell you that all the motivation you need comes from within you? That you are your own motivation?

After last month’s edition of #MondayMotivation, I kept wondering about the success of motivational quotes. As stated above, I think there are some good ones and some bad ones. I have proper reasoning for it all, but the reasoning is very subjective. It bothered me that sometimes I would read something and really feel it, while other times I would lose all of my interest two words into a tagline.

The answer finally hit me this weekend.

Me.

I am the answer.

The reason why it works sometimes, but not all of the time.

Let me explain by going off topic a little bit.

Ten years ago I thought meditation and mindfulness was the dumbest thing. I thought those were airy terms used only by hippies and woke people. I never considered myself one of them, so naturally, the buzz words were not meant for me. It is not like I thought there was anything wrong with it, but I could do without. I did not need anything else in my life other than what I already had. I was religious. Well, I was going to church. Meditation somehow felt like something that was for non-believers. Mindfulness just sounded silly. So I continued on my merry way until I decided to get an exercise book on CBT-DBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy/ Dialectical-Behavior Therapy) because I was finally ready to admit to myself that I wanted to work on my mental health. Whatever I was doing was not working. Or at least not to the extent that I would be satisfied with.

The book came, and I started reading. It sounded like a bunch of things that would never work for me. It sounded ridiculous, even. I cannot recall it exactly, but there was something about sticking your face or hands into a bowl of ice water. Now, why would you want to do that? That is supposed to HELP? That would just make me angrier. That would make me FURIOUS. And were we not trying to avoid exactly that? But I kept on reading. I MADE myself read.

It was alright if the book turned out to be a bust. I prepared for it. I would toss it out, or maybe return it and go back to where I started. But I had to put in the work, first. I had to give it a try. A real try. Every night after work I would sit down and read a chapter, and then think of the answers to the questions at the end. No. I was NOT going to actually fill in the workbook. I was not in middle school again.

This is how Wikipedia defines Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: “CBT focuses on challenging and changing unhelpful cognitive distortions (e.g. thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes) and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and the development of personal coping strategies that target solving current problems.”

Psychology today defines Dialectical-Behavior Therapy as one that: “provides clients with new skills to manage painful emotions and decrease conflict in relationships.” The most important pillars are: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Mindfulness.

It was then that really I learned about mindfulness. It was a fancy word for something that I could easily do. It was actually something I was already doing. I just needed to fine-tune it. Throughout the years I found out that meditation is not as one-dimensional as I thought it was. All of a sudden, those were concepts that were a part of my life. A conscious choice.

A friend of mine is another great example of what I am trying to articulate.

I told you that years ago” – I find myself saying and deflating onto a sofa.

“Yea, but now it clicked” – is the answer.

What?

OK, you have been on a long enough journey already this morning. Let me circle back to the beginning.

Motivational quotes that do not always work. And you. YOU.

Do you know why sometimes things click, while other times they do not? It is because you were open. Or not. We can hear the same words today and feel nothing, but here them tomorrow and turn our lives around. Why? Because we are not ready today. We are not open to the possibility of turning our lives around. Not yet. Why? Well, that is a topic for another post.

So I finally know that among some silly, or irrelevant to me cliches there are also those that fit. They have the potential to click. It is just up to me to open the doors for them.

It is true – outside motivation IS needed, but I see the outside motivation as INSPIRATION for the motivation that is YOU.

What motivates you today?

Stay golden,

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18 thoughts on “HW: #MondayMotivation; Be open to the possibilities.

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  1. Motivation is a tricky, slippery thing. I’m finding it difficult lately to stick to my goals of diet and exercise. I used to be better at it. Honestly, I think it’s because I’ve quit dating, and I used to be motivated with the idea of looking great and being in shape because Mr. Right was out there somewhere. Now that I’ve given up, I’ve become lazy. Why not just read a book and have some cookies? What’s the point of exercising and denying myself tonight? I’ll be better tomorrow. I used to not do that. Our brains WANT us to eat and rest, and we have to TRICK them into not doing that. No, brain, we are going for a walk now! We are not reading another chapter of the book! No, brain, we are NOT buying cookies for an emergency. Put them down! I don’t know how other people do it, but I have to treat my brain like a 2-year-old.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Motivation is tricky for sure. I know you know this, but allow me to remind you – you should want to look and feel good for yourself. Not for Mr. Right. It’s alright to give yourself a break. To recover. To laze around a bit. To not care. But be sure to be conscious of its length.

      Your snippet regarding your 2-year-old brain was hilarious. Just remember that he’s the child/ dog and you’re the parent/ master.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lol! I was the same way with poetry. Couldn’t understand it for the life of me. If you’re gonna write something, why would you purposefully write it in the most roundabout way possible? My sister even sat me down and forced me to read a bunch of poems in an attempt to change my mind. No dice. Until a few months later, when I heard one of the poems we had read, put to song. I’ve always loved music, and my sister, in an attempt to convert me, had said something about poetry basically being songs without the instruments… But it never clicked, until I heard that song. Flash forward a couple years, and poetry is my lifeline.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was unbelievable to read. I thought you were born reading and writing poetry. Fascinating story. Thanks for sharing your origin story. Does your sister now laugh at you that she knew what was up from the start?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol. She laughs at herself, I think. I didn’t actually tell anyone about my poetry for the longest time; I only told my sister rather recently. She was… Surprised. Mystified. And yes, perhaps ecstatic might be a good description. She wants to be a writer and has often encouraged me in the literary direction. Of course, she was also a little peeved she didn’t see it sooner. Late nights typing on my kindle, being a tad snippy, evading all questions? Not that she can really be blamed. I’m not always… honest; and I can be very good at evasion.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. You hit the nail on the head – true motivation comes from ourselves, but there are lots of outside things that can inspire us to be motivated. The quotes I choose each week are specifically geared for where I am personally at in my life. Sometimes they speak to others, sometimes they don’t. For me, they reinforce what I’m working on, through or towards. I totally understand what works for me may not work for someone else, and what is working for me now may not serve me in the future. Such is life…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wrote this post thinking of you and your quotes. “2nd month in a row about those damn quotes. I wonder if Heather will say anything.” It really isn’t directed at you. I swear. I’m glad they work for you and that you agree that sometimes things work for us now, but not later, or not now, but later.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I cannot give you a quote per se, but a message. Be in control of your emotions – recognize what they are and why they’re there. See if they really serve the purpose you’re after or if they sabotage you. Connected to it, and an even louder (at least to me) message was to think of your relationships – what they are to you and to take care of them instead of tearing them down.

      Like

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