We try to live the best life we can.
Making the right choices.
Or so we think.
Others think they know better.
They are just trying to help.
Suggest you change your ways.
Because THEY think THEIR way is the RIGHT way.
Sometimes we listen to other people’s advice. Sometimes we do not.
The truth is that in the long run, we can never be sure if we are living the way we should, or if maybe others figured it out instead.
I was just thinking about my life philosophy. Some say it is too simple and therefore silly, some think it is just plain wrong. While I listen to other people’s opinions, in general, I am pretty happy with my choices so far, and having my own best interest at heart, I believe that I am living my life the best way I can at any given time.
Being a realist, I am aware that this all might be a lie. An illusion. Maybe in a little while, I will see the light. Different from the one I think I see right now. Who knows? How can others be so sure that they are right and I am wrong?
If you ask me today if I have any regrets and if I am happy with my life, I will answer with a “no” to the first and with a “yes” to the second part of the question. But life is not over yet. The only moment that I will truly know is when my time comes.
I feel similarly about “the way of life”. How can you be sure of anything you are doing early in life? I fantasize about being a hundred years old and looking back on my life to see that it WAS a good one. That I DID chose the right path. Any and everything can be incorporated into that – lifestyle, finances, diet, family and friends, hobbies, etc. I wish to stick my tongue out at all the naysayers then. But will THEY be around then?
Whenever someone turns 100 years old (or more), we want to know their secret. Do you think they actually know what they did differently than their peers? An even more important question – Will you listen to THEIR advice? I hope to tell younger generations about my secrets to a great life, but will they listen? Probably not. Maybe because not every solution applies to everyone’s problems. Or maybe because it will be a different generation. With different problems and different perceptions.
Stay golden,
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Trust your gut feeling about what’s wrong and what’s right! There’s no general guidance how to live properly and get the most out of it. What is enough for you, can be to little for someone else. Respect people’s choices even if they are not yours. The secret of the hundred year olds? Luck, I would say. Strong DNA that prevented them from getting a serious illness. Mental flexibility to cope with the nasty things in life. And a overall understanding that your life is too short to waist time on controlling the life’s of others as well!
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I wouldn’t trust my gut for a moment. How many people have “let their hearts guide them,” and their hearts guided them straight into disaster? Besides, my emotions will tell me one thing, and five minutes later tell me something. Nope, not a good guide, unless you like being yanked around.
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(and five minutes later tell me something ELSE.) (See? I can’t even trust myself to write a comment without flaws.)
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You’re too funny, Annie. None of us are perfect 😉 But we are perfect in Him. Stay golden!
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Interesting perspective. To me, gut and emotions are separate.
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Thank you for stopping by and sharing such a wise comment.
I definitely try to live that way. Although, I am struggling with the control side of things.
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Are you an active blogger? I just tried to follow your link, but it says the blog is no longer there…
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I am! The address is http://lookingforedenblogspot.wordpress.com
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I will go and check it out shortly.
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I see it redirects to a deleted account. I asked admin for assistant! If you click the link http://lookingforedenblogspot.wordpress.com you will get to my site. Thank you!
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I see it works now. Great. Now anyone can check your blog out by clicking on your name whenever you comment. Thanks for fixing that up.
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I’ve had these thoughts myself. What if I went right? I’m still searching for my path on many levels. Deep down there is a Real Ash that I lost a very long time ago, but I’m never giving up on finding him again. Thanks for the read. Very interesting post.
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Ash, I would submit to you that the way to find the “Real Ash” is to connect with his Creator. There’s also the bonus of finding out WHY the Real Ash is here. Blessings. – Annie
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That’s nice of you say. Oddly enough, recently I have been getting the rare sign of a higher power at play. You may be on to something. Thanks for the thoughtful suggestion.
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Not that odd to me, but always good to hear. – Feel free to consider my comment another sign. 😉 If you look for the signs, you may very well find them to be less and less “rare.” I know I do. It keeps life exciting.
You are welcome at “Seeking Divine Perspective” any time.
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OK, I will certainly take that advice. Really appreciate your insight and comng from a religious background, it could very well be what I have been missing!! Take care!
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I tried “religion,” but religion alone was kind of hollow. I find a relationship with God is much better – less ritual, more real communication. 🙂
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Interesting. I can see that.
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I like the mixture of both.
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I know many people who are returning to their roots. It seems to be helping them.
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You are definitely amazing at seeing those signs we often miss.
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I hope you find what you are looking for.
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Indeed.
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That’s what I’m saying. There are so many different paths. So many ifs and buts. You’d go crazy if you split hair on every decision ever made.
As for Real Ash, try and hone in on who that Real Ash was. What made him different from who you are now. And then go and try to live that way. Following his path might lead you to him quicker than just “looking for him”.
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So very true. I have come out of the fog a little in the last year. But, I am still on a journey to find the rest of the pieces I’ve lost. Great advice, thanks for that.
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“Emerged from the fog” – a debut novel by Ash.
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Boom!!!!
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Also, your new banner (?) is amazing!
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Oh really? Done a few tweaks. Any other thoughts?
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I noticed the menu changes, too. All the aesthetics are pleasing to the eye and the menu names are intriguing.
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Sweet, I’m happy you said that. Still playing, but I thin I am getting there.
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Do I have regrets? Yes. Did I always choose the right path? No. But did I learn from my mistakes? Absolutely. That is the key, in my opinion. A self-reflective life is the one for me – the ability to look back and learn and grow from my mistakes is my purpose. Not happiness or contentment or adventure (although all those things can be naturally occurring by-products) but GROWTH, into a wiser human being. If I am lucky enough to live a long life, that is what I will tell people who want to know my “secret”.
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Most definitely. I am all about growth, too. And funnily enough, that’s where my happiness stems from. I hope you get to live for A LONG time to pass that wisdom onto others.
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Thank you FG! I wish the same for you.
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I think the secret to life is simple, we must fulfill our most simple duties. I’ve never heard a person regret having children, I’ve never heard a person regretting working hard to provide for their family. The secret to life is simple, have a family and raise responsible adults. Everything else will take care of itself.
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(And what if life doesn’t give you these simple pleasures?)
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That’s such a small population that it is hardly significant, however, for those who cannot procreate. Not those who are unwilling, rather those who refuse. Adoption is paramount. If we refuse to raise the next generation, then what is the point of life?
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It may be a small part of the population, but to THEM it IS significant. Those who never find their “significant other” can live in perpetual disappointment, unless they find another purpose to their lives. I’m just saying that everyone has a purpose. Raising children is certainly a noble and necessary role, but those who can’t or don’t should not be written off as useless. There are other ways to serve future generations, such as teaching, counseling, healing, training, coaching, etc. Only the Creator can tell each of us what we’re here for. Trying to squeeze oneself into another’s mold can be a waste of time – or worse.
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If we weren’t meant to procreate and raise children, then why have sex? What is the purpose of any organism if not to multiply? In the most simple sense of life is to sustain life. If a person chooses not to procreate, then they will not survive.
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Because it feels great, relieves tension, and bonds people.
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Is that the purpose of sex though, or an awesome side effect?
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You’re just arguing for the sake of it. I’m out.
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Take your seat then if you wish to not discuss.
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Coffee, no soapbox here. All are able to take a seat in the circle of trust.
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lol, I gotcha Goldie
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If procreation is not the purpose of life, then women and kids shouldn’t require protection.
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I think the protection of women is a thing of the past. Well, mostly. Kids? Sure, but it seems like ALL humans now feel vulnerable, so no specific focus on anyone.
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Really, so you don’t think that women still need physical protection? I’m all about that equality!
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I don’t think many women want or need that. Society is trained to record the things happening in front of them, not to help.
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Gotcha. I’d be more than happy to only concern myself with my own safety, rather than interdict in the behalf of others.
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Being a hero works sometimes, but sometimes it just gets YOU killed.
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Then take no risks!
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I prefer calculated risks.
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Residual risk always remains, it just depends on how much and who is willing to accept the liability.
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If we win, praise me, if we lose… it’s your fault.
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Ha, I’m good at taking the blame!
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That’s why we get along well!
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Choosing a career over children is possibly the most selfish and self centered thing a person could do with their life.
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I don’t know… I mean, if you only give up having kids just to work, then yes. However, I think some people need to sacrifice themselves for the good of the rest.
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How can you assist other passengers unless you put your oxygen mask on first?
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True. But what about laying your life for your loved ones? Like with anything else – not black and white.
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Nuance, I like it.
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Coffee likes to debate and see different points of view.
Thank you so much for opening up the stage for that and joining in on the journey. That’s the only way to see things we haven’t thought of. Maybe because of you, he will grow to understand the other side of things. (I’m not saying that he will, but who knows.)
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My father was a Coffee. I had to deal with that around the supper table growing up but I don’t have time for it anymore. Thanks, FG.
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I understand.
Stay golden!
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True.
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lol
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Yes, but so does a massage or a shared meal.
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Yes, sex is meant for procreation. But why have humans been given free will and intellect?
Maybe some are not meant to survive? Survival of the fittest?
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It seems as if the third world has no problem with persistence existence. The only people that survive are those who procreate. Those who pass their lineage along. Those who instill a sense of pride about their existence.
Any population that becomes convinced that they are the offspring of evil, will refuse to procreate. And thereby that population will become extinct.
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What if the goal of life is to develop the human race? Why are fetuses being screened for specific disorders? Are we to extend our lineage by ANY means?
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Only in recent time have these screening tests come about. Midwives used to deliver babies and sterilization was of no concern.
Who is the authority on what is needed to develop? I would argue that recent developments have weakened the developed world.
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Sure. In the past those babies just died if they were not viable enough. And the chance of a mother dying was higher than it is now. No mother – no opportunity for more kids.
Sure, one can debate on some progress, but we should strive to be our best selves, in HIS image. Not just be. That would be too little. Too lazy.
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Beautifully said. We all have a purpose. It might seem mundane for some of us, but it is of great importance in the grand scheme of things.
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I can think of many points to life, other than to raising the next generation. Not every one should/could/would parent, and that doesn’t make those individuals pointless. There are many ways to contribute to human society besides this.
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How does one contribute without continuing the species?
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Oh, IDK. Maybe invent a life-saving vaccine or write a book that influences someone else to do something great, or be a wonderful aunt or uncle to a child that is otherwise without hope or…or…or…I’m sure if you thought about it, you could come up with some ideas too.
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I think that lies in the realm of assistance, not actually contributing.
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That’s too bad, that you think this way.
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lol, why is it bad?
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Because you disregard people who do their best and yet don’t have an opportunity to live up to your standards.
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I don’t condemn anyone. I simply point out that in order for any society to thrive and survive, procreation is a must. If a person cannot procreate, then there are plenty that need to be adopted.
What greater sacrifice than to lay down your life for that of a loved one? That is why I said that bringing children into this world and raising them is the purpose of life.
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I feel like we’re moving away from the initial issue. It wasn’t about procreation not being the purpose. It was about other people being less than useful, which I think was unfair and misguided to say.
Yes, to survive, we obviously must procreate. But do we thrive only by procreating? What about living vs. existing? Some people just are. Drifiting. Doing nothing. Sometimes just being is not enough to be thriving.
Dying for a loved one is commendable, but I think there has to be more behind that. Dying trying to save your partner and orphaning your children in the end might not be the best of ideas.
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I agree.
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If you think that contribution works without assistance, then you are wrong. To trivialize it – there are only a handful of professions that are considered noble. They contribute. Sure. But how? Mainly on the backs of those who assist.
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What is more noble than to raise kids? Why is there a need to be in competition with parenthood?
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You might have misunderstood my question. I was trying to put things in perspective. To show how things work in the workplace. How there are faces of the company and then all the blue collar workers who propel the company.
I think competition can be good, because it makes us try to do better.
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Yeah, it seems I did misread your post.
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Not necessarily the post, but the various comments. The post wasn’t about the goal of life, but about different choices we make and who knows best which path we should take.
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Gotcha
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Plenty of great causes to contribute towards.
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How did women contribute to war back in the day? By helping those who fought (feeding and taking care of them). There are more roles than 1.
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True, but if we forsake our one true role, then everything else will become moot as well. Wars are fought from the back to the front. If there is no one coming up from behind to relieve the front lines, then the war is already lost.
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Exactly. Meaning, assistance IS needed and should NOT be disregarded as not fulfilling the purpose.
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Assistance would be a secondary function, a way to pass along lessons learned and best practices. How can anyone be an authority figure if they themselves have never been in the same situation?
Would you take parenting advice from a person who was never married or a parent themselves?
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Sometimes a third party person has the most objective things to say. I would not discredit it without listening.
I guess we disagree on the importance of people who assist in progress.
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Maybe, to be honest, I’m having a hard time keeping up with this conversation. It’s been a few days now.
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Yea, sorry, I’ve been quite busy and unable to respond to everything straight away.
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Ha, no worries. It happens.
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What is the purpose of life if not to protect and perpetuate it?
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I don’t necessarily disagree. Maybe evolve?
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Do you think people have ever evolved socially or culturally?
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Yes.
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I agree.
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I winced when I read “hardly significant”.
Devil’s advocate here – What makes us qualified to raise the next generation?
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The same that made our parents and grandparents qualified. Any society that empowers its citizens to not procreate, will soon be gone.
Look at how people will often cite how white people are becoming the minority. Is that due to education or success? Or is that due to the popularization of the idea of child free adulthood? If we cannot undertake the same responsibilities that our parents and grandparents took, then quiet possibly we would never have existed.
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I see your empowerment point.
But have you never heard of babies being tortured by their parents? Are these people qualified? Should they procreate?
Fatherless Series by James C. Dobson comes to mind. I think you might find it interesting.
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How do we offset and combat those evil people that would torture their own babies? The less good people there are, the more bad people come about. It’s a game of attrition.
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For sure. But doesn’t that make you think that maybe someone should NOT have kids?
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I think that is hard to predetermine in most cases. The most extreme and severe of course.
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We cannot predict the future. But these things happen quite a bit.
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So, in that case, what is the acceptable margin of error?
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I don’t think there is one in such situations.
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The margin must be defined, so people can choose for themselves.
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But who defines the margin? Isn’t that, too, arbitrary?
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I think to define the margin, you must be willing to be counted in that margin.
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Do we not prefer to remain in the middle of the page, and not be shoved onto the edge?
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If a person wants to define what is an acceptable loss, I think to be honest and fair, they should hold themselves to the same standard.
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Naturally.
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Great question!
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I’ve heard people regret having kids. I’ve heard people regret working hard to provide for their family. So… to me, it’s very personal. We all have different goals in life. And because we are all so different, even well-intended advice can not apply.
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Really, people regret having kids? That’s horrible, I wonder how their kids feel once they hear that their parents regret having them.
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It’s a messed up world…
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Yeah, it always has been and always will be
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Maybe. But there are different shades and degrees. I can only compare what I’ve lived through. Yes, yesterday was not as messed up as today.
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Yeah, that’s a good point Goldie.
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You have touched upon a very important topic which is close to my recent thoughts. I ask myself: who’s right? Me who tries to keep a normal life or people who sacrifice their “normal life” to follow their dreams and succeed? Shall I put everything at risk to go for the wildest dreams or shall do best of what I have today? Shall I blame my fate that I was not born in perfect circumstances destined for greatness or that I didn’t put myself in really hard work at 20 so that at 30 I could be already a star? I’m watching now VMA and I’m asking myself: how did they do all of it? What did they sacrifice? Are they happy with where they are today or they’re just pretending to be so? I’m not sure today if at the end of my days I will tell myself: You did well, my girl! I feel that there’s still a lot to do so that I feel I made the best of my life. Time flies…
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Funny that you say “time flies”… See my today’s post.
I think you allude to the comparing thing. Even when your time comes, you might still be bitter because you didn’t get it ALL. I guess I haven’t thought of that. To, there is no peripheral vision. I sneak a look every now and then, but I access my own life as if it was the only component of the equation. Makes things easier. If and buts… Do what feels right NOW. As long as you’re an intelligent person, that should not lead you astray.
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Provided we’ve got just one life and that there will be no second chance to make things up, would you like to be a different person, in a different place, in a different time and in different circumstances?
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I’m a curious person, so because of that – sure. However, I do not yearn for that.
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Who would you like to be or what kind of person would you like to try to be – of course by curiosity? 🙂
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I would like to have more money. That was I could choose whether I wanted to work or not. If I was to work, I would like to have a job I would feel more fulfilled in. Potentially, it would be a position through which I could help other people who wanted to do/ live better but couldn’t.
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Have you read a book “4-hour work week” by Tim Ferriss? It sounds like something which may give you a few great ideas on how to go for a life where you feel fulfilled and where you break the standard schemes killing your creativity. Is there any particular reason you stay at work where you don’t feel fulfilled and you cannot use all your skills?
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I have not. I will check it out.
Being unable to find something that fits the bill and having to pay the bills.
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Have you thought about finding a better place in another town where you could use your skills and get more financial freedom?
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I’ve done that last year (made the move). I think I am doing better now, and am hoping that it’s headed in the right direction. I just need time. (Or maybe I’m just naive…)
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We have to start with something and at the beginning, it’s rarely our dream job. But the most important is not to take roots in a job which doesn’t empower you. It’s a good starting point, but keep heading your dream job.
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Most definitely. And you as well.
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I will 🙂
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one does not need to know everything but it does help to know everything about the things you need to know about,now that is simplicity.Good health my friend
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I agreed. But on the other hand, I’ve always been hungry for knowledge and sometimes not knowing gnaws on me. I have to hold myself down and remind myself that sometimes simple is best.
Thank you. You as well. And stay golden!
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Very interesting questions indeed. I think we’re all kings and queens of the decisions we want to make. To continue on that imagery, we’ll always have counselors to give us their thoughts on what should or shouldn’t be done but we ALWAYS have the final decision and that’s what’s important, that by the end of our lives, we’ll be able to look back and say that WE chose this. And I think as long as we can say that, we’ll be happy about our lives.
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I like that analogy quite a bit. Makes perfect sense.
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You wouldn’t ever need to have regrets for you know that you chose the best thing possible for you at the time.
Love, light and glitter
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That’s my philosophy. It seems to be working so far. Hopefully I agree with that statement at the end of my life, too.
Stay golden!
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A nicely penned one…though i feel in the end, it is memories that you acquire that matter, rather than the knowledge of you being right ir wrong!!!
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I’d like to think so, too. But I do like being right, and it would feel awful if on my deathbed I wasn’t happy with the life I have lived. You know how things look different depending on the perspective? I just hope that doesn’t drastically change.
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True…in the end, instead of fretting upon some wrong steps that one would have taken in the course of life, there would be a point at which we should probably have the courage to turn back and smile…
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What a wonderful sentiment.
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I may not always agree with other people’s advice, but I’ll still listen. I’m not exactly sure if I’m on the right path, but it sure isn’t an easy one. One thing I do know for sure is that I’m doing my best to do the right things and move forward, even when I feel like I’m lost and drowning in a dark sea.
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Ditto.
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when we stop listening to more man will we find the answers to life. If you believe in a Creator or if you dont why not give the bible an actual chance. 2 Timothy 3:16.
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Mere*
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Oh, I believe. You are very much correct.
Do you have a personal blog?
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I do not. Not promoting myself or my ideas. 🙂 just wish more people actually looked into the bible.
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Fair enough.
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Interesting
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Thanks. What is your view on this topic?
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