HW: #WednesdayWisdom; You get what you need.

Have you ever heard someone ask: “Why me?“?

Better yet – Have YOU ever asked: “Why me?“?

I would venture a guess and say that we ALL could answer with a “Yes” to both of these questions. (Please let me know you answered “No”. It would be of utmost interest to me to get to know your story.)

Life is tough and sometimes the burdens we carry are just too heavy. We drop everything to the ground and fall onto a couch, breathing heavily.

“Why me?”

“Yea, why?“

We probably all heard the “You only get what you can handle” cliche. I know that this acts like the piece of red fabric on a bull. It might make you angry because you do not think certain people deserve such hardship. Or maybe you have seen people broken by specific events. You might roll your eyes and wonder how do people handle hurricanes and losing EVERYTHING.

Throughout my life, I always believed that saying to be true. Maybe I went through less serious stuff than other people or maybe I went through more. The definition of “serious” is very subjective here. However, whenever something occurred to me that I thought was too heavy for me at that time, I ended up overcoming it and emerging a stronger person.

Often times it is hard to stick your head above water and see the bigger picture when you are drowning. Of course, you should deal with the emergency at hand instead of looking at the sandy beaches in the distance. But once you are on dry land and all the dust settles, you will be able to realize that you WERE able to survive. The next time a big wave comes over you, you will be able to hold your breath a bit longer than the last time, giving you even better chances of survival.

It is not hard to defend “You only get what you can handle”. If you are still alive, it means that all of the trails you went through WERE beatable. How can you dispute that statement? Sure, sometimes it takes people a long time to find equal footing, but once they do… it is beautiful. Look at all the stories we read about and watch on TV about people surviving terrible odds – cancer, being kidnapped, tsunamis. How do these people seem to you? To me, they seem strong. You might THINK you cannot do something, but that is often fear and doubt, which overshadow your true potential.

Recently, I had an epiphany on the topic of hardship. You are given what is good for you. I know, I know. How can floods and famine be good for you? I do not know, because I am not YOU and such disasters have not happened to me (at least on a bigger scale they have not). What I do know is what applies to me. Think about this and your life and see if it translates.

Two thoughts passed each other in a hallway in my head. One was regarding my work life, the other – my personal life. Normally, those two would have kept on walking in opposite directions, but this time they decided to get some coffee and chat.

There are many things that one can complain about when it comes to work. I know I do. However, my deepest pain, a recurring complaint is my skills not being utilized. Have you ever had to pretend to be busy for hours on end? I have. To me, that is more taxing than actually working hard all day. I despise not being able to solve problems just because they are not mine to solve, while others fumble with them in the dark. I want to say: “I can do more. I WANT TO do more”.

In my personal life, I seem to like it calm. Who does not like to relax? But you know that feeling when you just do not know what to do with yourself because there is no excitement in your life? For me, there is a fine line between relaxing and being bored. And the latter does not mean that there is nothing to do because there always is, but sometimes you feel bored even when you do things.

The conclusion that my brain came to is that the challenges that I encounter in my life are there because that is what I need. Did I not ask to be able to do more? Did I not WANT to? I sure have.

I wanted to prove my strength.

I wanted to prove my worth.

I wanted to show my diversified skills.

I wanted a challenge so I would not be bored.

Do I go through this so others do not have to? Maybe. Maybe not. But today, more than before, I believe that He has a plan. He knows how to hone in on my skills and make me grow towards the sky and reach my full potential. He is a Boss that listens and waters the talent. God gives me lemons in life so I don’t get bored. So I get challenged. He knows what I need.

Stay golden,

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39 thoughts on “HW: #WednesdayWisdom; You get what you need.”

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    1. But do you only think that because we went through that? Because YOU had to figure it out? What if you were born with a silver spoon?

      And how do you react at the time of said odds? Are you cool, calm and collected, knowing it will make you stronger?

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      1. When I was in the army, we would sometimes help out on the tank ranges. Tanks, firing 120mm main gun rounds. Loud and incredibly shaking.

        Deer and other wildlife would wonder out onto the range during live fire. The deer grew up there, so the tanks firing, didn’t scare them. If a deer was planted to that range from a wildlife park, that deer would’ve probably died from a heart attack the minute it heard the tank fire.

        Pain is subjective to the individual. It doesn’t matter if a person was born with a silver spoon or not.

        I am cool at times and at other times I become easily overwhelmed. It is our past experiences that help us to remain calm or to collect ourselves to deal with the problem at hand.

        A person either figures out how to make it over the wall themselves, skirt the wall when no one is looking or getting other people to carry them over the wall.

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        1. But a person who experiences no pain and suffering doesn’t know that there is anything good in obstacles.

          That’s what I was trying to illustrate – that it’s easy to look at things from a perspective AFTER the fact. When we’re in the heat of the moment, we don’t always think as calmly.

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  3. Ok, I USED to ask “why me?” I don’t anymore. I haven’t for nearly 40 years. When something that seems insurmountable happens, my first words are “Well, isn’t that interesting!” When it rains, it doesn’t just rain on people who have gardens. It rains on people having picnics. It rains on people who didn’t bring umbrellas. It rains on pool operators. It rains on people who are hip-high in the water in their living rooms from the last rainstorm. If you ask “why me?” doesn’t it also come up “why not me?”

    God doesn’t send floods to punish people, he promised he would never do that again. God doesn’t send tornadoes or earthquakes or tsunamis or sinkholes to punish people. He does give you the tools you need to survive and thrive even if you do suffer from some natural disaster. God doesn’t send cancer, but He does give you what you need to survive it or to die knowing your after-life will be cancer-free.

    I have had 3 surgeries on my hip. The first was for hip dysplasia that I was born with and rubbed off all the cartilage in the joint. The second was for the reaction of the joint material to my natural defenses that, as a consequence, weakened the bone and it split down the spike. The joint was replaced, but the spike wasn’t (which is a GOOD thing!) The third was due to an accident with a revolving door that caused me to fall on a marble floor and break it around the top of the spike. I now have so much metal in my leg that TSA asks me if I’m transporting a shotgun in my leg. Isn’t that interesting… It would seem that hip dysplasia is a rather specific thing to send to a person. Not everyone has that problem, in fact, I cannot name a single person by name that also has hip dysplasia. But now, I have a very high tolerance for pain. I know many people that have had hip/knee replacements. I know how they feel, and now I can help them manage. I couldn’t do that as well if I hadn’t had to deal with it myself.

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    1. It’s almost a right of passage to ask “Why me?” at some point of time. We see others do it, we see it in the movies, we read it in the books. I’m happy to hear that you don’t do it anymore. I figured out pretty early on that it wasn’t useful to ask that. It was actually detrimental. That’s what I say: “Of course. Why not?”

      Those evil revolving doors… I’m glad they seem to be a thing of the past. However, then I see people piling in and no one lets that 1 person out and I wonder if maybe a revolving door would be better.

      A shotgun in your leg… Interesting. You just take your leg off and shoot.

      I know one person with hip dysplasia!

      That’s awesome that you are able to channel your pain to help others.

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  4. Ah, the peaks and valleys of life. I have had some misfortune in my life, some inflicted by outside events, others inflicted by myself. I have come to realize that simply is what living is about. Being able to maneuver this existence of ours does not come with a manual and we have to experience it all for ourselves. Most of what was told to me as a child came to be as I go older. No matter the warning, no matter who said it to me. I still had to go through it alone and find out for myself. I’m 1000 % better off that I did face these things on my own because it has made me a more stronger person. Will more come, for sure. But the lessons I’ve learned along the way prove that at the end of the day…we will prevail. It might be hard, it might for a while in one’s life, but it will ultimately get better. You just have to keep your chin up and embrace it. What is life without a few scars?

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  6. Such an inspirational post – congratulations! It empowered me to see my situation differently through new glasses. I really admire what you do and what you write about. Maybe you don’t see it, but you’re a great source of inspiration for people who read your blog. I would love to be so consistent, disciplined, smart and delivering such great content. Indeed, He challenges you, but just to excel you at what you’re already good at. Don’t forget about it!

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    1. You are just too nice to me. You always add some fuel to my fire. Thank you for that. Sometimes I think I just ramble, that not many people know what to make of that. To hear that some can make heads or tails and apply it to themselves and it helps…. is just priceless.

      Thank you!

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      1. I’m really grateful for every single post you publish! You add fuel to my writing and living fire as well with your great observations and insightful thoughts. I owe you a lot especially in a few critical situations when I wanted to give up. I recall myself then that somewhere in the world there’s a Goldie which doesn’t give up and keep writing exceptional texts despite all adversities. Thank you for that! Your presence really matters!

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  7. What a motivating post – thank you for sharing! Before jumping on the negative side of it (it is so easy and so convenient), it is so important to cultivate a strength to force yourself to slow down. Whether it is through your faith, your support system or whatever… it will always make itself count.

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  10. Urgh, frustrating. Definitely understand about skills not being used and sitting round being a placeholder. I decided to leave that environment but understand some people can’t or feel they can’t. 😕

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  11. I used to ask myself that all the time, and though I’d like to say I don’t anymore, I still find myself asking that same question when I’ve hit a big roadblock in life. I’ve come to accept the things in life that have come my way even if I don’t like them. Who enjoys the difficulties that come our way (challenges aside)? I’m sure not many do. Why me? Perhaps it was a stupid choice, but then if that’s the case, we shouldn’t even be asking because we should know why. Perhaps we were just unlucky to be put in that unfortunate situation(s). With hardship, that helps us get stronger like you said. I see it like a fire that burns away impurities, that forges steel. A sword needs to go through the flames, endure the hammer, and be submerged before it becomes what it is meant to be.

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