Welcome to my first post of 2020. I hope that your holiday season was filled with joy, love, and laughter. Mine definitely was. By now, most of you (if not all) are back to reality. For those of you who are in at work for the first time today, I hope that your positive attitude carries over for as long as possible. I have already been disillusioned. But it is nothing surprising. People never fail to live up to your negative expectations. This is not to vent or complain. I am acknowledging a fact and am moving on.
I am treating January as a transitionary month. December was a special kind of month, and I need some time to re-balance everything once more. I know that is why some people planned in November and had resolutions ready by the end of last year, but if I was to do that, it would detract from what I was trying to do in December. So, I will take this month to figure out a loose plan for the rest of the year. It will mostly involve widely understood writing. That IS something I want to put more structured thoughts into.
Whatever you do, just remember to stay golden!
I am not sure what the Universe is trying to tell me, but I have recently encountered an increased number of articles and videos on the topic of divorce. They are on the topic of why people split, how they act during that challenging process, and how they over being single again. It seems that our society glorifies divorces. Is it all because single people do not want to feel alone? Do we all need to be single and miserable to make them feel better? When I was single, I definitely did not envy couples in relationships. They were just other people, people outside of the world of me. I was happy being single. However, if I wanted something, it was up to me to get it, instead of trying to take it away from others that already did have it. But maybe I am overthinking things… Or am I?
Before we get divorced, we first need to meet “the one.” If you are single, I hope you did not waste your time yesterday and put yourself “out there” on the various dating platforms. Apparently, Sunday was “Dating Sunday.” What is that? Statistics whos that the first Sunday of January is when dating apps see the most traffic. In 2017, Tinder reported 44 million matches on Dating Sunday. Last year, Coffee Meets Bagel witnessed more than 1 million messages being exchanged between people who matched.
Why is that? The Christmas/New Year’s season is to blame. First of all, many couples are unable to make it through the often stressful time of Holidays. Chances are that if you were single before the Holidays, you pressed pause on romance during the busy season of End-of-Year. Once all the dust of presents, food, and family settles, people are ready to face the relationship world again. Moreover, you have those that decided that this year they were finally going to meet the love of their lives. On top of that, you have people who are trying to do everything they can so as not to be alone for Valentine’s Day. After all, that is the first holiday after New Year’s that society thinks you should not spend alone.
All of that contributes to the traffic on dating sites/apps. If you were not able to take advantage of Dating Sunday, do not worry. While the first Sunday of January sees the most traffic, it is the whole month that witnesses an increase in numbers of people “looking for love.” Remember New Year’s resolutions? It is not just you who is trying to find your soulmate. Many other people are, too.
While some people are trying whatever they can to find “someone,” others are trying to get rid of that someone who is no longer all that special to them. Today, January 6th is known as “Divorce Day.” Why? It is because it seems that divorce lawyers see the most traffic in their offices on the first working Monday of the year. Google also gets the highest amount of inquiries regarding divorce on that day.
But why? Some people, for some misguided reason, like to give their partner one last Christmas/holiday season together. I do not know about you, but to me, it sounds very conceited. If you know you do not want to be with me, just pull the plug. Do not try to hide behind the mask of being merciful. Couples with kids often feel like they should play the ideal family for them just one more time for the Holidays before it all goes down the drain. If you are trying to be financially smart, you might also want to wait with filing for divorce until the new year to take advantage of tax breaks.
If you are not a psychopath and are not planning on blindsiding your spouse after a lovely Christmas/New Year’s celebration, you might be searching for a divorce lawyer in January because the holiday season was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. The holidays are stressful. Add a spouse that is less than ideal, and you have a divorce cocktail. Plus, remember the resolutions? “New Year, New Me?” Out with the spouse, in with the dating apps.
Have you heard of “January blues” and “Blue Monday?” The cold and dark weather is still playing with our moods. On top of that, we are now broke after having spent a ton of money on gifts, dinners, and outfits. If you were pondering divorce before, this is bound to help you tip the scale.
If you were not able to present divorce papers to your spouse today, do not worry. You have until the end of the month to contribute to the statistics, as January is the divorce month. If you are getting divorced and have some money to toss around, you might want to consider hiring a “divorce concierge.” What does such a person do? Anything and everything. They will help you look for an apartment. They will be your confidant. They will explain banking 101. It might be a dream job for some of you to become a divorce concierge. Hang out with someone and teach them more about life and get paid. How much do they get paid? $300 and hour of face to face coaching. Sounds tempting to me.
There definitely are cheaper options. If you want to read more about divorce concierges, take a look at this article.
I noticed a trend for low-key weddings. People do not like spending tens of thousands of dollars on wedding parties anymore. However, more and more people are throwing divorce parties. Why are we downplaying the beginning of a marriage and celebrating the end of a union?
Did you take part in “Dating Sunday?”
Is “finding someone” a part of your New Year’s resolutions?
If you are divorced, did you pull the plug in the month of January?
Would you consider having a divorce party?
How are you feeling today/ in the new year?
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