CW: Every step you take…

Even though a few wrinkles were now visible on Kate’s face, hers was the face I had kept imprinted in my mind for years. She was a stunning girl with piercing blue eyes and sun bleached blond hair. A natural beauty that never needed makeup. In summertime her face was covered with freckles that faded in the winter, yet one spot just below her left eye remained visible throughout the year. It was hard for me to take my eyes off of it.

At La Vida Cafe, Kate met with Carmen, whom she knew from church, every Sunday afternoon. She would order a cappuccino and the two of them would catch up on the events from the week. Carmen said something about her co-worker and Kate burst out laughing. A few people at the cafe turned at the noise, but Kate was not someone to mute herself just because someone did not like her style. Nope, she was definitely not the type. She flicked her hair and shared some of her ideas about Carmen’s situation. Carmen giggled.

***

It was a gorgeous Spring day. The sky was blue, the temperatures were climbing up, the birds were singing, and the flowers were blooming. Kate arrived at the park with a group of kids about five or six years old. She was a kindergarten teacher at Blessed Sacrament Preschool and Kindergarten. From the wagon that she and another teacher brought to the park, Kate pulled out a couple of different balls and handed them out. She spread a blanket on the ground and sat down.

Not even a minute passed by before Kate stood back up. She just could not sit still. She joined the kids running around the park kicking balls and playing ‘Tag.” A smile never left her face. I wondered how she could have so much energy. The kids seemed to love her, giggling whenever she ‘tagged’ them, made a face, or said something silly. What a vivacious woman. So full of life.

***

From the corner of my eye, having briefly looked up from my phone, I saw her enter the cereal aisle. Today was the day for which I have been waiting for a very long time. It was time to make myself known to Kate. Pretending not to notice her, I walked in her direction and bumped into her, making her drop the shopping basket to the ground. A look of fear sparked in her eyes, but I was not sure whether it was because a stranger bumped into her unexpectedly or because it was me who did it.

“Hello, Kate,” I said, picking up and handing her the basket.

Her eyes widened, and her nostrils flared. The corners of my mouth crept upwards. Finally. There was no mistaking it. She knew exactly who I was and she knew she was in trouble.

“We should talk,” I said to Kate with urgency in my voice but a smile on my face, and offered her my arm.

She grabbed it, albeit not without hesitation, and we walked out of the store without buying anything. The basket remained on the floor with some of the items previously in it now scattered around it.

***

Well over 10 years ago, I was accused of murder. Everything would have gone well if some woman did not come forward and testify that she saw me stabbing that runner. The witness sealed the deal. It was the nail to my coffin. They moved her out of state and gave her a new identity, but I was determined to find her. Knowing someone who knows someone who knows someone comes in handy every now and then.

***

“Write a story inspired by the word ‘vivacious.'”
– a prompt for this week’s CW piece.
[Source: @BlogBattlers]

***

P.S. As always, you are more than welcome to use this prompt to inspire your post. If you decide to write something, be sure to pingback to this post so that I can get an alert and check out your piece. (A post on how to do pingbacks can be found here.) If pingbacks are not your thing, feel free to simply leave a link to your piece in the comment section below. The more, the merrier!

Stay golden,

SGK signature.png.

***

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52 thoughts on “CW: Every step you take…

Add yours

  1. Goldie, you provided enough details to show Kate is a wonderful person. She is very lively, attractive, and fun around everyone. The antagonist, written in the first person, gave the happy story a creepiness that was felt as soon as he said: “Time to make myself known.”

    By the way, the photo you chose along with the story reminded me of the Netflix Original Series called “You.” The main character is about as creepy as the one you created here.
    Well done

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I have watched both season 1 and 2 of You.
        The 1st season I was immediately hooked on. But the 2nd was a bit too much.
        However, the interesting part was that the guy moved from NY to LA and compared the typical type of people a lot.
        Rational and efficient NY’ers vs. Indie Hipsters LA’ers.
        Not sure if that reflects the reality, but if it does, I certainly belong in NY 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Another brilliant piece of work. Great contrast between the bright, sunny description of Kate and the underlying darkness of the story, revealed dramatically at the end. Because there was closure as well, this one was particularly satisfying.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Needs some clean up. I suggest altering the sequence, we need the threat to come as soon as possible, so we can worry about it. Some insinuation of danger. There’s some telling in here. I’d rather be shown Kate’s nervousness and make up my own mind. The reveal at the end is good, confirmation of what we deduced — early on — was trouble.
    GDocs to share edits?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your feedback, ‘Mole.
      I didn’t start with any mention of a threat because I wanted the reader to wonder whether this was just a harmless admirer or what. But I can understand your suggestion. I’d definitely be curious to see how you show Kate’s nervousness. Shift the story to make it from her POV?
      I don’t have an account, but wanna email me some?
      Again, thank you for your critique. It’s definitely something to think about.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So I am guessing Kate pretty much destroyed their life and this person has been observing for quite some time.
    I am guessing they want revenge?
    Honestly, 90% of the books I am listening to are about revenge, so it is my favourite theme!

    I love the detailed description of Kate. The freckle below her eye, the eyebrows she raised and even the nostrils that flared!

    Loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yup.
      Good to hear. I think revenge is definitely a great topic to explore.
      I rarely focus on character description (which I know I need to work on), so I’m glad you noticed those additional details.

      Any weekend plans?

      Like

  5. This one quickly became chilling! As soon as the narrator starts describing the scene at the cafe, I’m thinking Stalker. The park scene convinced me. I did wonder why Kate didn’t take an alternative action when the narrator asked to speak with her, but when she left with him I wanted to scream ‘Don’t do it!’ This story effectively pulled me in!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your feedback.
      I thought that she left because she knew her situation was hopeless. She never would have expected to see him but now that she did, she knew there was no way of getting out of this alive. But I do understand that the reader does not know everything that I do. Point taken.
      Again, thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Innocence is not always obvious , But the character that comes to the table with ” We need to talk ” in a public place , vs waiting in a dark alley , says a great deal …I imagine that the Protagonist sensed that when she took his arm ….
    The only harm that would come to her was her ego being crushed into oblivion …..
    Being accused of Murder , and Being a Murderer are two very different things …

    Liked by 1 person

  7. How vivacious swiftly turned much darker Goldie. Love that twist as the initial shy boy fancying someone from afar and finding the bravery to finally ask the girl out turns out to be so much more. Ten years worth in fact as a revenge plotter is revealed.

    Fine work indeed. Bring on next month now too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so glad you understood it so well.

      These prompts are the highlight of my month. Kudos to whoever thought of the time line. Once a month might seem sporadic at first, but I think it’s absolutely perfect for an average (i.e. busy) person.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A sign of good writing Goldie!

        When I finally talked Rachael into resurrecting the BB we had a few chats about timing. Originally it was every week which I couldn’t personally keep up with. That created a drop off in participants too. Once a month I thought was better to catch more writers and actually give them time to read everyone else’s too. Let’s face it, if we can’t get 1000 words out for a month challenge we’re in trouble 😂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I agree. CarrotRanch (which I’ve mentioned before in our chats) is a weekly thing. It’s flash fiction with only 99 words. It’s an event I absolutely love and I want nothing more than to participate every week. But then something gets in the way and I forget about it, waking up to a compilation of submitted stories. I am working on it, but 1k words every week? I mean, I write way more, but I just wouldn’t be able to keep up with it. Not on top of everything else. And you’re absolutely right about giving us time to read other stuff. It’s a great way to discover other people.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes, I recall you mentioning CarrotRanch and I must pop over at some point! Sounds good for keeping habits going…something I often struggle with!

            I know 1k a week doesn’t sound like much. However the problem was people had other commitments to contend with. Often stories would drop, but time to read others was diminished. When people write for BB and get no feedback then it gets dispiriting. This way there’s a good three weeks after the prompt comes out and stories arrive to actually go round with words of support and encouragement. On my game I can write 2500 words a day with relative ease…providing life let’s me! It’s also nice to have comment chats too without pressure to go write the next prompt!

            Liked by 1 person

  8. Well done. You got me hook, line and sinker. Which is saying something as I’m always looking for twists. I didn’t see this one coming. Even as they left the store arm in arm, I was thinking it was at worst for an awkward conversation. Oh dear, how naive am I 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Awesome, Sam! This dark tale is really up my alley. I had an uneasy feeling as I read, constantly wondering through whose eyes we were looking and why said person wasn’t interacting with Kate up close. “Her eyes widened, and her nostrils flared.” Such a simple sentence, yet quite terrifying! Great stuff, I really liked the conclusion. The fact that Kate goes with the person in the end made me think that perhaps they were innocent, and were wrongly accused (and convicted) of murder — otherwise she might have fled, kicking and screaming!

    Also, just to nitpick — in the first sentence, there should be no apostrophe in “hers”. Sorry, it just bugged me! 😆

    Like

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