Parenting in times of a pandemic.

Before we get down to business, I would like to inform you that I am back! Back to writing my posts and reading yours. Please be patient with me as I relearn how to swim.

Thank you so much to all of you who have reached out to me after I announced my plans for a break. Your constant support means a lot to me.

There will be a more personal post coming soon that will reveal a glimpse of what I went through recently.

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Parenting word cloud

You are probably as surprised to read yet another coronavirus related article on my page as I was when I decided to write it. We live and breathe COVID-19. We all want it to go away and for our lives to return back to normal (whatever that may be). However, I find this difficult time phenomenal for analyzing people and their behaviors. This post is not about the pandemic. Instead, it is about people. Have you noticed any differences between people now from before?

As a kid, I remember my parents saying things along the lines of: “Back in my day…” I thought it was the absolute worst. As I got older, I caught myself looking at younger people, shaking my head and thinking: “Back in my day…” It is my belief that every generation goes through the same cycle. I feel that the pandemic gave us another layer of opportunity for such: “Back in the day…” reminiscing.

Back in the days before COVID-19, people complained about kids spending too much time in front of a computer/ tablet/ smartphone. They would boast about their childhood filled with wild adventures outdoors. Kids did not understand it. Why go outside if you can put on a VR set in the comfort of your own room and “see” the world?

Suddenly, a pandemic hits and people are told to stay indoors as much as they can/ You would think it was a dream come true for those who fought their parents about going outside before the virus. Apparently, it is not. In the UK, teenagers are lashing out against their parents because they are not allowed to go outside. There is talk about new forms of domestic abuse – parents abuse their children by not letting them go outside, and children abuse their parents with verbal and physical violence as a form of a rebellion against the regime. What are the kids really fighting for? Is it for their right to go outside? Or is it simply the age-old fight against parents and authority? Having lived in the past, I would dare to say that it is the latter.

In the US, a vast majority of states decided to close schools for the remainder of the academic year. Some closures are mandated by the state, while others are only strongly recommended by the government. Montana, Wyoming, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, and Maryland decided to keep schools closed only until the end of May (for now). For more information, visit:

https://www.edweek.org/ew/section/multimedia/map-coronavirus-and-school-closures.html

While chatting with my cousin, I found out that online tutoring is not what I thought it was. I imagined that kids woke up, powered on their computers, and then sat in front of them for the same amount of hours they would spend at school. At least in my cousin’s situation, the reality is different. Online school lasts an hour. Afterward, it is up to the parent to spend a minimum of four hours teaching their kid. There is a multitude of issues here.

I have to admit I snickered at my cousin complaining. They have nothing better to do, so what is the problem? But it did make me think of those households in which both parents have to work eight hours a day. How are THEY meant to homeschool their kids?

Figuring out how to juggle full-time work with full-time care for your kids is not easy. It definitely requires a lot of thinking, compromise, and sacrifice. However, I cannot believe the number of complaints I hear/ read about parenting during a pandemic. All of a sudden, parents are finally faced with… parenting and they are flabbergasted. Having to work all day and then work some more when you get home to your kids is not easy. But what did you think when you decided to bring a child to this world? Did you really believe that nannies and teachers would be enough to raise your kid to be a decent human being? While those people certainly play a significant role in the shaping of our young ones, they are not a substitute for a parent. COVID-19 makes this more than obvious.

This is what a teacher from Colorado said about one of her own children:

My first grader — we would kill each other. (…) He’s fine at school, but here he has a meltdown every three seconds. (…) I need to teach other children…

Instead of complaining about the lockdown, maybe we should learn how to be parents to our kids? If we ourselves cannot stand our kids, how is it that we expect others to deal with them?

A mother about her online learning with her daughter:

She gets frustrated every time we start and then I get irritated and she gets irritated and it usually ends in me saying we should take a break and then the cycle repeats. One or both of us typically ends up in tears by the time it’s all said and done and no work is completed.

People are creatures of habit. Try and form a schedule for your kid that resembles the one from before the virus broke out. Have them understand that this is not anarchy. No, times are not easy. Yes, as a parent, you are meant to guide your kid.

As you can see from those examples above, many parents are having a tough time handling their children during these lockdown/ pandemic times. To try and release the tension, someone, somewhere, made a meme. Merrian-Webster defines a meme as “an amusing or interesting item (such as a captioned picture or video) or genre of items that is spread widely online especially through social media.” The photo shows a young girl and a woman (presumably her mother) sitting next to her on the couch. The bubble above the girl’s head asks if the girl is adopted. The bubble above the mother’s head says: “Not yet no, I only put the Ad out yesterday.” Personally, I find it humorous. Unfortunately, some people got offended. But what else is new? There will always be something someone does not like. (Disclaimer: Yes, I understand that adoption is a serious, often heartbreaking topic.)

If you are a parent, please share your experiences with us.

How has life been different for you as a parent amid a pandemic?

Have you learned something about yourself/ your kid/ your relationship with your child by having to spend more time with your offspring?

What are some of the tactics that help you keep your sanity?

If you are under your parents’ supervision, please share your experience with us.

Have you become closer to your parents, or have you drifted farther apart during the pandemic?

What do you do to keep your independence?

What is worse? Having to go to school or having to stay at home with your parents?

If you are an adult without kids, please share your thoughts and observations on the subject.

Stay golden,

.

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