What I want to remind you of today is that to truly love another (and to feel the love of others), you must first love yourself. On this day – February 14th – I wish that you fully embrace yourself and that you feel the love coming from within. Only then will you be able to accept and appreciate the love from others, as well as give the beautiful gift of love to others.
Imagine walking through a street with unknown to you stores on your left. They are all selling the same thing and you are in the market for that ‘thing,’ but you are not sure if you should purchase it from Store A, B, C, or maybe P. What factors help you decide?
I would venture a guess that you would probably remove Store A and C from your list of options because there are no customers there. There is one person in line at B and four at P. My observations say that you will most likely choose P because you want to see why more people chose it over B – clearly, they must be onto something. However, some people will choose B because of the shorter wait time. Plus, there is something appealing about a dark horse, right?
A few weeks ago, I saw the following video and thought that it perfectly illustrates the concept of – there has to be someone to start the trend and others will join.
So, love yourself and others will follow!
With that said, let us dive into today’s News Related Opinion Piece.
Most people – if not all – want to change something about their bodies at least once in their lives. What causes that? Whether we like it or not, there definitely are standards for what people generally consider visually appealing. At times, we are painfully aware of those. However, what we conveniently forget about is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder (beer holder?). It might sound prosaic, but there is a lid for every pot and you will find one that fits you.
Unless the lid has magically shattered into a million tiny pieces and now you cannot buy a replacement without buying it in a set with another pot.
We are often our own worst critics and apply a totally different scale to ourselves than to others. There is always something we could make ‘more perfect.’ While I think it is normal and completely OK not to love everything about your body, I also believe that it is not only OK but encouraged to acknowledge that you have some great assets, too. Liking something about yourself does not mean you are shallow and/or self-centered. It just means that your eyes are open.
What is NOT OK is a persistent obsession with your looks. One way or another, it will lead you down a rocky path. So, you can either make peace with the way you look now and learn to accept the various imperfections, or you can try to tweak some things here and there and hope that you will be satisfied and know when to stop. Are you really willing to take that gamble?
We live in the era of body positivity (‘Hey, I weigh 700lb, but I love my curves! Haters gonna hate!’), but that does not mean that bullying and judging no longer exist. Since I like to analyze things, I enjoyed dissecting various aspects of judgments. I am aware of the fact that other people’s opinions about you can definitely be hurtful and even harmful at times. When hearing these ‘not-so-pleasant’ comments, it is important to remember that while some of those judgments might be close to the truth, others are totally off-base. It is up to us to either take them to heart (and do something about it) or put them in the trash can.
Like with anything else, there is the possibility of there being at least a grain of truth/a pinch of good intentions in the opinion of others. No, I will not laugh at you and call you fat, but if you ask me for advice, I will share my two cents and maybe invite you to join me on my next walk. After all, if we truly love someone, we want the best for them. Right? The same applies to you – if you love yourself (and your body), you will want what is best for you. Trust me – not being able to move much and having to stay in bed all day is no fun in the long run. It will have a major impact on your body AND mind.
One of the things that I have learned while working in plastic surgery is that it is possible to apply all the changes to your body that you want and STILL not be able to accept and love yourself. Sometimes, we are the only ones that see imperfections in our bodies. How many people do you know that think they are ‘too fat’ while others around them think they are just fine? Those folks think that if only they went under the knife and got rid of an x amount of pounds, they would be happier. For some – that might actually be true. For others – it will only cause more issues (ex.: the never-ending chase of being ‘just a bit skinnier’ and surgical complications). The same holds true for breast augmentations – some women keep getting bigger and bigger implants, never reaching happiness. (Have you ever watched ‘Botched?’ Read about the show’s ‘15 most outrageous patients ever.’)
After a while, you get a feel for people who want the surgery for the right reasons and those that will never be fully satisfied. Some doctors will actually work hand-in-hand with psychologists to make sure that the potential patient does not have any underlying mental contraindications. Working on your mental health (root cause) might be a better idea than undergoing a surgical procedure with all sorts of risks (band-aid). You would think that plastic surgeons do not care and just want to get paid for requested services. However, that is not always true. The best specialists have you in mind, too. They want you to be happy and satisfied. They want to make your life better. They do not want you to regret your decision, to leave them 1-star reviews, and/or to sue them.
Unfortunately, you cannot always trust a person when they say: “I want xyz.” When a kid says that, you evaluate the request thoroughly. Surely, they are too young to make an educated decision. Well, the same goes for adults when it comes to drastic/irreversible things they have never tried, like plastic surgery.
Gender reassignment surgery seems to be a lot more common these days than they were a couple of decades ago. There are entire teams working on making everything go smoothly. Some of those teams include mental health specialists who want ‘the best’ for the patient. But, there has been a constant push for giving these patients what they want. If a psychologist questions a potential patient, they are labeled as ‘transphobic.’ Additionally, with cancel culture being trendy, such a professional could lose their job even. If we question people about ‘minor’ plastic surgery procedures, we should definitely insist on vetting transgender patients. Not because we do not agree with their decision, but because we want them to love themselves just as we love ourselves.
Jazz Jennings – a male by birth, a woman by choice is a great example of how sometimes we think we know what will make us happy, but when we achieve it, we find out that we are still not at our desired destination. Like many others, Jazz thought that her life would be sunshine and rainbows once she became a woman. However, after transitioning, Jazz continued to struggle with depression and she turned to food for comfort. Now, she is unhappy about her weight. Surely, if she only loses a few pounds…
- How (if at all) are you celebrating Valentine’s Day today?
- Do you feel like you love yourself enough?
- Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought that if only… xyz, you would look better/you would be more popular with the ladies/men?
- Have you had any plastic surgery done? (I realize that might be quite an intimate questions, so only share if comfortable.)
- Do you fit into the stereotype of your assigned at birth gender?
Did you enjoy reading this post?
Have some thoughts on the topic?
Share in the COMMENTS.
Do you regularly enjoy my blog?
Be sure to FOLLOW.
Are my posts getting lost in your busy Reader?
Want to get to know me better?
Check me out on TWITTER @SamGoldieKirk.