CW: Anger

This anger
rises in me
just mounts higher
every day.

All I want
to do
is kick
and scream
and punch
and yell.

But
what good
will that do?

You will
just close your ears
turn your back
walk away.

And it will be I
left there
kicking
screaming
punching
yelling.

For nothing.

So I will
sit down
and cry.
Wallow
in self-pity.

To
make
myself
feel
better.

But it won’t.

Anger
has the power
to make us do
things
we might regret.

Sadness
has the power
to make us do
nothing
forever.

These two
go hand in hand.
Pushing us
and pulling
in opposite
directions.

Which one will win?

The outraged beast
or the overcooked
mushy rice?

Or is there a third way out?

Why is happiness
so easy to kill?

Yet anger
and sadness
are not?

Stay golden,

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***

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44 thoughts on “CW: Anger

Add yours

  1. Hmm. Well, I can answer your final question, but it comes straight from Catholic theology. Fear, anger, and sorrow are all great activators of sin.

    I gave a talk to a bunch of high schoolers this week on St. Therese of Lisieux’s spirituality, seen through the lens of the Beatitudes. There’s a surprising quote that relates to “Blessed are the meek…”:

    “Discouragement itself is a form of pride.”

    That one was totally new to me, and it’s been surprisingly bracing. I’ve spent quite a while thinking about it. The condition of the world is so beyond my ability to fix, and I need to accept that. However, another quote applies here as well:

    “I am not afraid of a fight; I have my duty, come what may.”

    Don’t know if these quotes will help you (that sort of thing is very personal), but I offer them to you here because they helped me. : )

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh, I am very well aware, Cathleen. I’ve been really praying on it because I don’t like it one bit.

      I appreciate you sharing what helped you. I feel torn as I ‘know’ all that but somehow it’s not easy to actually turn it into reality. At least not permanently at this time.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Simple doesn’t mean easy, and St Therese might not be the saint for you. Maybe Ignatian spirituality is more suited to your talents and personality. Or someone else. I don’t function well with methodical, step-by-step approaches to spirituality, but lots of people do.

        I do know this–there’s a saint or a devotion out there who will speak to you. That’s why there are so many of them. God won’t leave you alone and lost. Don’t lose hope, my friend. : )

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Very heavy. My take… ANGER is hard to control. We pay for letting it out the cage. SADNESS is familiar, with knowledge of an outcome of doing nothing. Doing nothing can shorten a life as well as being out of control.

    Your words are food for thought.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’ve been 70+ years battling with those feelings and collected a whole host of wise sayings on what to do about it and am still raging.
    Of late the closest I’ve come to finding at best a half-way house is half a deep breath and saying:
    ‘That an’t gonna help kiddo. Do something constructive, not destructive. Or let it pass’
    (No that’s not perfect either. Humans never are. Better than ranting I suppose)
    Take care.
    It’s a heck of a good poem too.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Right? It’s like we know better, but somehow we still arrive at the same destination.

      Wise words. I do a variation of that, too. It’s hard to wait for it to pass, though when you can’t do anything constructive in the meantime.

      Thank you for your insight! Stay golden!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. My instinct is to ask what’s made you feel so angry, but that’s the rescuer in me, and I don’t think it would be fitting to try and ‘rescue’ you (I’m probably not making much sense here). I really want to say I hear you loud and clear, my friend. Anger is a deep, painful and sometimes confusing emotion. It’s a real tough one to deal with. Did it help any to be able to write this passionate and brilliant poem? Brilliant, but painful, perhaps. As for me, I find anger a difficult one to cope with and am more likely to attempt to suppress it. Not healthy, I know, but it’s just how I manage it. I think as they say, it’s better out than in, though. I hope tomorrow you will feel easier in yourself. Take care, Sam. Soothing hug coming your way x 💗

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m right there with you – we should form some sort of a rescuer club… Throughout the years, I’ve learned to pinpoint the roots of my emotions. The solver in me wants to understand the problem, pick it apart, and solve it. But those steps are not always 100% possible. And that is when I get stuck.

      It definitely did help to write this. I’ve been trying to make myself write about my emotions (privately), but a big part of me has the gagging reflex when I walk towards that. So, if I can turn that need for emotional release into something somewhat creative, then I will take the chance.

      Back in the day, I used to let anger lose, now – like you – I try to suppress it. But, it’s not healthy. For the mind OR body. Hence, the search for a happy medium.

      Thanks for your support, Ellie. Indeed, I do feel better. Stay golden!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Oh Goldie! I feel this one so much!
    I have been disappointed in life one too many times which have provoked a lot of anger and sadness in both my childhood and adult life.
    The one thing that does help is medication. It just neutralizes the emotions a bit.
    It’s not ideal, but it is not a shame either.
    The misconception in general is that every medication is addictive.
    This, however, is just not true.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “Which one will win?
    The outraged beast
    or the overcooked
    mushy rice?”

    What a brilliant bit of writing 💖

    I’m sorry you’re struggling. The piece is lovely, a brilliant snapshot of your mind and emotions. In an imperfect world, I could fix everything for everyone with a Thanos-like finger snap, but that would definitely steal agency and personal growth.
    Though occasionally I might like to be given the option.

    Take care. Sending energy and support your way. 💝

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Glad you liked it.

      I’ve been doing better this weeks. It always ebbs and flows. Life, right?

      Are you sure you would fix everything for EVERYONE? I guess in the grand scheme of things, maybe those people that I might think don’t deserve the fixing would turn out to be wonderful human beings if we did fix it all…

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This dilemma reminds me of a story I think is most relevant now.
    You asked, is there a third way out? With God all things are possible.
    In this story, as in so many, the wisdom comes from a mom. 😉 Her daughter was complaining about the hardships she was going through, and instead of admonishing her directly, the mother went into the kitchen, got out three pots, and filled them with water. She placed some carrots in one pot, some eggs in the other, and some coffee beans in the third one. Then she set them all on the stove and turned up the heat. After the water had been boiling for a time, the mother turned off the stove. Taking out a carrot, she showed her daughter that it had become soft and weak – like some people who let trials weaken them, until they don’t fight back. Taking out an egg, she showed her daughter that although the egg LOOKED the same on the outside, inside it had become hardened, like the people wo let trials make them hard and bitter. Finally, she poured out a little of the water from the third pot, which had become coffee. She told her daughter that those who have Christ working in them are not weakened or embittered by their circumstances, but rather, they are able to change the circumstances and the atmosphere around them by being the “aroma of Christ.”
    I know it’s easy to tell a little story and give a platitude, but I think the bottom line is, as always, Christ. To resist the irresistible, it starts with focusing on Him. We start our day in the context of Christ, with the knowledge that we are His, His armor is on us, His angels surround us, He is in control of everything, His justice will prevail, our sins are all forgiven, we will live forever in Him … etc. If we spend our mental energy thinking on those things (See Philippians 4:8.) we will be “transformed by the renewing of our minds.” (Romans 12:2)
    Sorry, didn’t mean to go into sermon mode … I’m talking to myself as much as anyone. Emotions can be so tyrannical. (Please don’t ask me how I know that. :/ )

    Liked by 1 person

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Ellie Thompson

Musings and Memoirs - True Tales of My Life ...

Roars and Echoes

Where the power of my thoughts comes from the craft of writing.

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words on paper

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