CW: The end of the road.

“Write a story that goes to the edge”

– a prompt for this week’s CW piece.

(Extra challenge – 99 words exactly)

Jack got out of the car and ran full speed ahead, until he reached the edge of a cliff. The ocean’s stormy waters continuously slammed against the rocks below him. The frantic wind whistled in the distance before enveloping him in a cocoon of autumn leaves. He looked at the sky and saw the fast approaching rain clouds. A single tear rolled down his cheek before the sky opened up. Jack fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. What was he going to do next? Even God was angry with him now.

Thunder.

Lightning struck.

***

Stay golden,

Signature.

***

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31 thoughts on “CW: The end of the road.”

Add yours

  9. Nice ambiance! I found this part really poignant: “Even God was angry with him now.” ^_^

    If I may give some constructive criticism, I find this sentence hard to read: “The ocean’s stormy waters continuously slammed against the rocks below him.” Many “s” sounds. I a way, it could be nice: you’re describing waves and reading this aloud, it sounds like actual waves. English is not my mother tongue though, so maybe I’m just not pronouncing correctly. I also think there might be an excess of modifiers. I talk about the use of modifiers in one of my posts, you might want to check it out. Or not, hey, you choose. https://idaauclond.wordpress.com/2017/03/26/declutter-your-text-use-modifiers-in-moderation/

    Other than that, I admire people able to create a story in so little words! Keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

      Thank you for the link. I go back and forth on this. Sometimes I think adding modifiers is the right thing to do, since it adds vivid description. But then other times, I realize that they aren’t always needed.

      Your criticism definitely is appreciated. And now that I read it, I totally get where you’re coming from! I admit, most of what I write is published the same or the next day. While in the ideal world, it should sit in my drafts a bit more so I could review it with fresh eyes.

      And yes, I enjoy those 99 flash challenges immensely.

      Thank you again for these pointers.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Ah yes, time’s a constraint. ^^;

        I agree that modifiers can add great nuances or details. They can help create a more vivid image in one’s mind. I think what bugged me here was the juxtaposition of “The stormy waters” to “The frantic wind” – there’s a repetition of structure in addition to the non-essential modifiers. When I say non-essential, I only mean that, for example, it can be deduced that the wind is frantic since it is whistling.

        You really make me want to try my hand at flash stories. XD

        Cheers!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  11. Pingback: The end of 2018. On my terms. 2nd edition. – One day at a time…

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