Ruled a suicide. Can money buy happiness?

I was going to write/ post this last week, but since the world was ending, I decided to post about THAT instead.

As a result, THIS post is late, but after talking to Curiosity and Andrea about the correlation between money and happiness, I decided that I did not want to scrap the idea for this post. Having known about the below, I did not want to get into too much detail while talking to them, so as not to spoil my upcoming post. Without further ado, here it is:

Last week, we heard about deaths of two famous people – Tim Bergling (better known as Avicii – the DJ) and Verne Troyer (better known as Mini-Me from the Austin Powers series). Both deaths were ruled a suicide.

He really struggled with thoughts about Meaning, Life, Happiness”said Avicii’s family member. Meaning, Life, Happiness. Quite an interesting statement. A couple of years ago, when his popularity was peaking, he decided to withdraw from the limelight. It was all too much for him. He wanted a more normal life. Even though he loved making music, and he loved that others enjoyed his work, he could not adapt to the new lifestyle of the rich and famous. His family also described him as an over-achiever and a perfectionist, which led him to great stress.

Verne was 2 feet, 8 inches tall – making him one of the shortest people on Earth. But that is the kind of statement that probably gnawed at him during his whole life, and might have led to his issues and finally his death. His family confirmed that Verne had numerous ups and downs throughout the years, and that this time he lost the battle. He was struggling with an alcohol addiction for a long time, even just a month before his final departure, his family had him committed for a 72h long suicidal watch after finding him drunk and depressed.

I often think that if I was rich and famous, I would not squander the opportunity.

I would do great things with it.

I would remain reasonable.

I would not let the fame get to my head.

Etc.

But I am not. So I cannot say for sure what I would or would not do.

I have to admit, that sometimes I am appalled when I hear about celebrity suicides. It is because those are people who have so many more resources at their disposal, and yet, they choose to end their lives. I am not heartless, and I feel sorry for their families, and even for myself if it is someone whom I liked. But above all, I wonder what went wrong. I wish I could talk to them and find out how it unfolded. To see what was the final straw. To see if there was anything that could have been done. To see if their family/ friends knew what was going on and if so, what did they try to do about it.

These stars have money to live comfortably, not struggle or worry about the roof over their heads or what they are going to eat next. They have people to do almost everything for them, so they do not have to be bothered with the mundane stuff (their choice). They have fans. They have people that adore them. People who look up to them. People who want to be them. And when something goes wrong, they have the ability to fly to the top of a mountain, on a remote island and talk things out with a therapist.

I struggle to grasp what else it is that they need. Is it as simple as: “They are used to getting everything they want, but once they do not get something (material or immaterial), or something does not go their way, they do not know how to handle it”? That cannot be the truth for all of them, can it? I am sure someone will make the argument of it being a mental illness, and that there might not be a reasonable response. I know. But should these people not have the access to the best care? Should they not be on medication?

What I do think makes a big difference is the people around you. And when it comes to being a celebrity, sometimes you do not know whom you can trust. Who really is your friend and who is just pretending for the money. Sometimes, in the world of paparazzi flash, there is not much room for deep conversations during which one asks for help and the other tries to offer some advice. I do understand that it can be lonely at the top. That sometimes you have an image to uphold.

However, if these people end up committing suicide, what hope is there for average people? People who do not have the money to go see a psychiatrist. People who cannot afford their medication. People who cannot drop their job, get on a private jet and fly to a far away land to clear their head.

Naturally, not only rich and famous people commit suicide, but we surely hear about it louder. It is not that they are more important than others. It is because we are more disillusioned by the demise of someone “who had it all” than by someone who struggled throughout their whole life. Some of those celebrities are role models for other “regular” people. And if you see your idol take their own life, it might shake your own existence up a bit.

To the dismay of some, I think that we are our biggest cheerleaders and enemies at the same time. I believe that YOU need to help yourself. No matter what other people do to help, you will not get better if you do not want to. Not everyone has a great support system. Those who do are lucky and should really cherish it. Some of us seem to have a lot of people around us, but when push comes to shove, they are more interested in telling you how you are going to fail than helping you succeed. Sometimes it is not even about helping you, but not clipping our wings.

Statistics show May to be a month with the greatest numbers of suicides, so please make sure that you keep your eyes open for those around you. And for yourself as well. I am here to listen, if you need to talk.

And remember, it is OK not to help (if you do not agree), but at least do not make things worse. Your bad word just might push someone over the edge.

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56 thoughts on “Ruled a suicide. Can money buy happiness?

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  1. Dude, if I had the support, I would be a happy person. Even though they say they support me; actions speak louder than words. It is always my belief. Even though I have succumbed to depression, I will not succumb to suicide. I know there are people out there, like me, who are looking for a connection but yet have found one they can trust.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know how you feel about the support that is more words than actions. I’m sorry you have to go through things alone, but that makes us stronger.
      I trust you find the connection one day.

      Like

  2. I wonder if it’s all connected? There is nothing I would hate more than fame. I don’t want to be a household name or face, I wouldn’t want to be a blogger like pioneer woman for instance. I like my invisibility. I wonder if the kind of people who seek fame have the pre disposition to melancholia. To never finding the bright side, never feeling they are “enough”..

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Good point about ‘predisposition to melancholia’. I have always noticed that pattern. If you look at famous standup comedians, so far, I have realized they have a really dark past. Robin Williams for example.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. This is a super interesting thought Britchy…the wonder of perhaps the famous are more predisposed to the melancholy. That one gets me thinking.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. This is an awesome post, I often wonder the same thing. Why do rich and famous people commit suicide when they have every resource at their finger tips? Thanks for reminding us all to care for ourselves and the people around us.
    Have a super wonderful day.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I can only imagine that when you’re at the top, you can’t be sure who are your friends. When you’re at the top of the ladder, there’s nowhere else to go but down…a dead end street. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have people with cameras everywhere, waiting for you to grimace, finding a way to record your most private moments. That, alone, would be cause for depression.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That definitely must be trying.
      But is there ever a “dead end”? To me, it seems like there is always more to achieve. That’s probably why all the celebrities come up with clothes and perfume lines, turn into politicians, etc.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s understandable. We get down on ourselves if we don’t succeed the way we had hoped with a job or school or a relationship. Imagine any type of failure being a topic for public discussion – a bad outfit, bad hair day, cellulite photographed while enjoying a family vacation, bad reviews on a performance, etc. The pressure of public opinion must be horrendous.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. This is a great post! Celebrity suicides do get more media attention over others(regular people), definitely doesn’t mean their life is more important. You are right though, they have a lot of money but they still aren’t happy mentally and emotionally.

    One aspect of this post shines a bright light on the importance of being vigilant and proving yourself to be of service of others. People are happiest when they have done something for another being, I 100% believe that. Also, another thing is you can’t help others if you can’t take care of yourself first.

    Thank you for the mention in this post. I am honored:) The post you have linked of mine, Money – Let’s Talk, I wanted people to start thinking and talking about it. There is a much deeper conversation to be had about that too, maybe another post!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I actually thought that someone was making up the news of avicii’s death. I couldn’t believe it even after the reports came in. I really loved his music.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Those of us who don’t have all the money in the world have the luxury of dreaming of it; Those who do are painfully aware of its limitations. You can’t pay the rent of your own soul… And when you can’t tell who else might be good for it, it tends to remain vacant.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I would hate being famous. It’s the last thing I want to be. I would love to be on a TV show or a show on stage. Possibly a film. But getting famous must be horrible for loads of people! But suicide is not even on my list of things I want to do or happen! For people who care about me would be hurt so badly. I just wonder how badly hurt Avicii and Mini-Me’s family are. I absolutely love Avicii’s music!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so nice of you to think of your family. It really must be very hard for them. I can only assume that once you decide to commit suicide, you’ve considered the impact it would have on others, but just don’t care anymore because of the size of your own pain.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If I was close to suicide, I wouldn’t do it as people that care would be so devastated. I don’t care the size of my own pain I’m in right now, I wouldn’t come close to self harm or suicide at all. I feel ever so sorry for Avicii and his family and the same for Mini-Me and family

        Liked by 1 person

          1. I bet you’ve got such a big heart as well. I bet you’re also a caring person. I hope you’re surrounded by caring people as well❤️

            Liked by 1 person

  10. Fame does not guarantee happiness. Money is not all-powerful that it can conquer mental illness, no matter how many treatments you can afford to throw at it. Some people just lose hope completely and do not believe that there is any possibility of recovering it. It is such a terrible thing and I feel so sorry for them.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are absolutely right. It’s a little bit depressing to me, to see that those who have more resources can still fail. What kind of chance do the rest of us mortals have? It’s tragic, really.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. That’s a wonderful post and I completely agree with you. That’s so sad that the wealthier and the poor have the same ideas in the end. How horrible, there must he solutions for everything , it’s just that we’re not always surrounded by the right people at the right moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I knew one of us what going to write about. I’m happy to see that you did!

    There’s a couple of things I’d like to say (other than, wonderful post as always):

    1. I really wish the 3 of us could have this conversation face to face. I am sure it would lead to very interesting arguments 😉

    2. I always say that fame and money are two separate things. But now I realize that this kind of insane amounts of money can only come with face. A standard job will never make you this rich.
    I’d like the money, but not the fame. So I don’t think this will work out for me.

    3. I think nearly everyone struggles with “meaning, life and happiness”.
    I don’t want exactly pulls the trigger to actually perform the suicide.
    Two people close to me have done it.
    One was on the edge.

    4. Your ending is extremely strong and so true. It nearly makes me cry.
    “Your bad word just might push someone over the edge.”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ad 1. Totally!
      ad 2. Interesting perspective. Having the money without the fame. I never thought of it that way. It would be nice.
      ad 3. I’m sorry you lost people close to you.
      This is where I say ignorance is bliss. I wish it was OK for me to just be happy with my little life. That I didn’t want “more”.
      ad 4. Thank you for the amazing complement.

      Have a great day!

      Like

  13. In answer to the question in your title, I quite like the Spike Milligan quote: ‘money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery’.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. There’s a country song that says “… but it can buy you a boat…” (and many more things). I have to agree. Thanks for sharing the quote. I’ll put my misery on hold for a brief moment.

      Like

  14. Bill Murray once said, “A lot of people want to be rich and famous. Go with just rich. It will be easier.” While I would never compare where I was to these people, I was a regular in Northern New England media because of my public life as a politician and magazine publisher seven or eight years ago. It’s a weird thing when everybody knows you, but you don’t know them. I knew that I had a facade to keep up and I think that added to the pressure in my life and was a piece of the eventual undoing. I look at people who commit suicide, or murder, or school shootings and other things of that nature and think that most of us just can’t understand because we’re not in their shoes. There is an obvious mental health disconnect and when that happens at a certain level, rational thinking is gone. I think the fact they are a celebrity is almost not important, other than it generates media

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I think both money and fame can be enslaving. Once you reach a certain level of either there are expectations that have to be met. You no longer have the freedom to say “NO”. Personally I choose freedom.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I am speaking from personal experience, there was a period of time where I was “so low” that I did not have the awareness of the seriousness of the situation. Thank goodness my husband was “tuned in” and discovered that I needed help. As soon as I got professional help, I was able to begin to help myself and now I know when to recognize disturbing “needing attention” cues in myself as well as others.Like the saying, “it takes one to know one.”

    Liked by 1 person

  17. There are so many people out there searching for happiness while dealing with depression at the same time. This world is so full of wickedness that it’s hard to keep your sanity. Many people have to learn the hard way that money and fame doesn’t bring happiness and the majority of the time it brings turmoil. 1 Timothy 6:9,10 says, “But those who are determined to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and many senseless and harmful desires that plunge men into destruction and ruin. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of injurious things, and by reaching out for this love some have been led astray from the faith and have stabbed themselves all over with many pains.” I recently read an article entitled “The Way of Happiness” here’s a link https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&issue=2018-03&pub=g18&srcid=share
    and it really speaks on what in life can bring true happiness.

    Liked by 1 person

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Darlene Foster's Blog

dreamer of dreams, teller of tales

Emotion Doodles

Children's book illustrator & writer

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