#FridayFeeling

Today, I wonder about who we are.

It is not a deep philosophical question that I pose, but more a psychological one.

You have all probably heard: “This is not you”/ “This is unlike you”/ “You are better than that”/ etc. I know, I definitely have.

Recently, I was told that I “get quiet, when x”. The thing is that the person that said that has only known me for a short period of time, therefore, does not know me too well. Especially, because I have been trying to “impress” them (or at least, not have them have a bad opinion about me right off the bat). I wanted to tell them that: “No, I do not get quiet when x. Quiet is my preferable state. Unless y and z.” But I did not.

Then, I wrote a #TuesdayThoughts post, and it felt “foreign”. Even to me. Why? Because I do not really talk about my feelings all that much here, on WP. It is partly because I do not want to, and partly because I do not think my Followers expect that from me.

I read a few new blog posts this morning, as well as some comments and they made me laugh real hard. (Thank you for that!) It reminded me of one of my co-workers who is off today. They keep telling me how I am always happy and smiling. Even though that is not always the case, I cannot deny their observation. The fact is that the way I am depends on whom I am around. If you are someone I enjoy working with, then would I be unhappy?

Somehow, all of the above led me to consider how sometimes we are just perceived in a single dimension. For one reason, or another, we are used to someone being a certain way, and when they act “out of character”, we look at them funnily. Why is that? Yes, it might be an indicator that something is not alright with them, but it might also mean that you are finally seeing their true colors.

It is often heard that people want to get to know one another. But, sometimes, it seems like they want to know the “good” parts of them. The parts that fit THEM.

We walk around expecting others to be the way we want them to be. Have you ever thought that that is exactly who someone is, or that something is not unlikely for someone to do?

I feel like we want to be free to be whomever we want, but we do not extend such freedom to others. I do not think it is a conscious choice. I think it is because we are creatures of habit, and once something falls out of place, it jerks us into a micro panic attack. As if we do not know how to proceed with the new information.

It is alright to feel up, or down. Happy, or sad. We are not one-dimensional. We do not display the same personality traits 24/7/365. Accept others as a whole person. Not just their happy side.

How many different masks do you wear?

Are certain people expecting you to always feel/ act the same way?

Have you ever said: “That is unlike you”, and if so, then why?

How are you feeling today?

Stay golden,

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50 thoughts on “#FridayFeeling

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  1. I tend to be quiet around people who talk a lot. I think the hardest thing for me is when they assume I am “quiet” because I am shy. I once carpooled with a coworker who talked the entire time we drove, non-stop–she didn’t even catch a breath! Then at meetings, the same person would came and tell me “you’re always so quiet!!” While I am more of an introvert, I felt like she expected that from me when it wasn’t even me!! Anyways…a long story to say…I know what you mean!!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes. I agree with what you wrote about how we expect more from others than we expect from ourselves. I know sometimes I fall short in this area but really, we (including myself!) should extend grace to others….after all, we are all human!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. If anyone is going to describe their masks, I’m gonna scream & shout. Partly of joy, partly out of annoyance.
    Brcause for ages I’ve been saying the phrase “always be yourself” makes no sense, and always people have disagreed with.
    We all have to play a role sometimes!!
    To my team I have to be the role model “manager type”, to my manager I get to be the complaining employee.

    A bit like you.
    I have been asked why I always act so friendly. I guess that’s act I put up.
    The one time I raised my tone a bit, colleagues seemed shocked and told me it very unlike me. 😅

    Glad people made you laugh today. My day started off pretty good, but then someone said something and it made me wonder “”was the climb really worth the view”.
    Why did struggle my way through engineering if people are going to assume my next job will be an admin lady 👺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sorry in advance for causing potential annoyance with my post/ comments.

      It’s tricky, because as a child, I strongly believed in the “just be yourself” type of thing. I still hear people say that, but now I know it’s not fully possible for the average person. The world is restrictive, and just being “us” is frowned upon in many situation (at least for me and my experience).

      Ah, the workplace is always a great topic to bring you down. I feel similar in regards to the climb being hard, etc, but the view not being as lovely as expected.

      Like

  3. Ya, “Be yourself.” pfffft. My being “myself” scares people. They expect me to be outrageous all the time, and then when I say something profound, they laugh it off. Or if I am profound all the time, if I joke or make some type of observational humor, they suddenly discount anything I’ve ever said. The act of being humorous tends to lower my IQ by about 100 points to most people. The most brilliant people have been comedians–Robin Williams, Jonathan Winters, George Carlin… And yet. I don’t know how to BE around people so I don’t. Then people look at me and say, “That isn’t like you. You’re always X.” I look them straight in the eye and say, “Then you don’t know what I’m like do you. Because I’m not always anything, any more than you are.” Then they slowly back away.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. First of all, i don’t mind reading about your feelings , some bloggers i know don’t want to share that intimate part of their beings by fear of being judged or laughed at. Well… i always try to understand through their writing what they were feeling/ thinking, what is behind what they have written . With that method I’ve found friends that needed help. So if you ever want to share your feelings…please do.

    How many different masks do you wear?
    A few
    Are certain people expecting you to always feel/ act the same way?
    Not really

    Have you ever said: “That is unlike you”, and if so, then why?
    Oh yes! When they get angry

    How are you feeling today?
    Prosaic

    Liked by 1 person

  5. How many different masks do you wear?

    One, like Popeye the Sailor said, “I am who I am”.

    Are certain people expecting you to always feel/ act the same way?

    I don’t know, I usually act the same, and I tend not to cater to others. This way they always know what their gonna get with me. Simple, plain, straight to the point.

    Have you ever said: “That is unlike you”, and if so, then why?

    I have, probably because I was disappointed.

    How are you feeling today?

    Out-friggin-standing! Been through a lot in life and I learned that “Tough Times Always Pass and Good Times Never Last”. So I do my best to always take things and people for what they are, apply what is necessary and a general rule of thumb, nothing is that important, so “take it with a grain of salt”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is interesting to hear. So you have no inhibitions around anyone?

      With you saying “That’s unlike you” when someone disappoints you, do you feel like you give them no right to be disappointing?

      Great motto for sure. I’m with you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think my inhibitions push me to be an extrovert, it usually doesn’t take much to make me happy and I like to make people feel welcomed. I genuinely enjoy comradarie and getting things done. I’m not really the one to focus on the negative. Then again, people always have a hard time knowing when I’m joking or being serious.

        Disappointing, hmmm, interesting aspect, never thought of it that way. I came from a team intensive background, we all were expected 100% daily, we expected that from each other as well. Seriously, interesting aspect, no one has ever asked me that.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I don’t think it takes a lot to make me happy, either, yet it seems so difficult at times.
          Yes, sarcasm isn’t always easily detected.

          I expect 100% from others, because I give 100% myself, so I understand you, but that can be detrimental to my own mental health, theirs, as well as the relationship between us.
          Glad I made you think.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. I try to avoid masks but of I ever “shock” someone I do try to explain myself. Why leave my intentions/actions up for question when I can simply state my meaning. This still does not always work 100% of the time because others may have their dead-set beliefs which I cannot change so in that case… oh well I tried! lol! Hope you are having a great start to your weekend Goldie!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been actually having some struggles with that lately. I say something, I see the weird look on the other person’s face, and I know I was misunderstood. So I try to explain. But that is then too late. Assumptions make an ass out of you and me is a saying for a reason.
      Have a great one as well!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Your observation about expectations is spot on….we judge others by what we expect them to do, to say, how WE want them to behave in various situations…and usually we’ve never told them what we expect and so… we are disappointed…let’s just enjoy each other for being and not for what we want them to be. Have a lovely weekend, and be true to you always.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I feel it’s exhausting to wear different masks, but sometimes I feel it is necessary so as to not be rude, hurt people’s feelings etc.

    I mostly try to be the authentic, even if it means some people won’t like it. I don’t want to intentionally hurt people but I am not a people pleaser as well.

    I have thought it in my head like “that’s not very much like you” but I don’t say it out loud because I believe people have many different layers even though they may have one MO.

    I am actually feeling like me today. Had an unexpected episode of migraine last week which landed me in the ER, long story short 2 ltrs of saline and 3 med cocktail in said saline, later I am good😊

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I have a couple masks I think. If I acted the way I wanted to, people would likely turn and walk away. I have a very weird humor and most would maybe not totally get it. That said, I am always able to bring a smile to someone’s face and I am proud of that trait. Nice post!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I’m the first to admit to ‘layers of Britchy’!
    There’s professional Britchy – okay it’s MY version of professional but its slightly reigned in!
    I do moderate myself to my audience. I’m never fake but I try to just think the bad stuff and not necessarily act on it.
    It’s a strain.
    What you allow others to see of you is a direct correlation with trust. You trust that people you let see more of you will accept you just as you are. You reign yourself in – protect yourself even -with those whose reaction is unknown

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I have too many masks to keep count of. One for friends, the loud and obnoxious one. One for everything else in school, crippling nerves and silence. One for home, quiet and subdued. I wish I could get rid of my masks and be truly me and hopefully this will occur sometime in the future!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I agree with you completely. I often find that we are so dependent on our different masks that we barely noticed we’ve changed them until someone says so. I often feel exhausted after a day at school as there are so many masks I wear there for different classes and/or different friends etc.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Good point. We sometimes forget we’re wearing a mask. It’s like we glue it on so hard, that sometimes some of it remains stuck to our face. And then you put another one on. Such a collage.

          Like

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