NROP: ‘Til Death Do Us Part. Wedding – a celebration of…

… love.

Or so I thought.

Be sure to tell me what the institution of marriage stands for nowadays. What is the point?

Why do I ask such a loaded question on a Monday morning? It is because I read an article about a woman who married her best friend. Innocent enough. That is how things should be. Right? Sure. Maybe.

Her groom was no ordinary man, though. His golden hair danced in the wind as he trotted towards his bride. Since he could not wait to be with her, he used all of his four legs to get to her.

You might have guessed it by now. A woman married her rescue dog – a golden retriever. Why would she do that? Apparently, the lady who is 43 years old got sick and tired of traditional males and called it quits after 221 bad dates. A dog was a way better option for her.

The dog is 6 years old, so they paired well in terms of age – they are at about their half-way mark in life. They will be able to grow old together. But if every human year is like seven for a dog, and a dog’s life span is normally much shorter than that of a human… which one of them will be widowed? Or will all this even itself out?

Do not worry. Marriage between a human and a dog has no legal grounds in the UK, where this took place, which means they can totally go off and marry other people/ dogs. How many husbands/ wives will they have next year? The article did not mention anything regarding their preferences regarding monogamy and open relationships.

Instead of “to love and to cherish, till death us do part”, the bride vowed: “All that I have in my doggy treat cupboard I promise to give to you”. First of all, how does she think her new husband feels about a “doggy” cupboard. Should they not do the whole “what is mine is now yours”? Or is it because they decided to keep their bank accounts separate? Second of all, how does the dog feel about treat shortage? What if she forgets to restock the cupboard? At what point is the dog allowed to go out and get a snack on his own? Or will that be considered cheating and be grounds for divorce? Lastly, did she maybe say that because she has a cupboard full of snacks and is trying to feed him all of it until he gets fat, unable to move and will never leave her?

The lucky couple has known each other for a year. (Seven in doggy years.) I am not sure who was the one to propose to the other, but since the retriever was rather quiet during the whole ceremony (you can see a clip if you follow the link provided at the beginning of this post), I would assume it was the woman who decided to disregard the traditional “man asks woman” way of things.

My heart almost stopped when I read that during the four years of the dog’s life, he was beaten and locked in a cupboard. Why would she mention the word “cupboard” in her vows then? Is she not aware of his PTSD? Or is she a psychopath and enjoys torturing him openly. Maybe she enjoys the thrill of doing so without anyone realizing what she is doing.

And how are we sure that is what the dog wanted? Have they gone to the vet and gotten a notarized translation? Maybe this is totally against his will? And are we alright with child grooms? I bet there would be an outrage if a 43 year-old-man married a 6-year-old girl.

Am I just raining on their parade?

The news of a woman marrying a dog shook me up a little. It seems like she did so because she could not find a more suitable mate among humans. Aside from the fact that the whole thing is outrageous, it also made me think about marriage in general.

In today’s world, we are told that virginity is a social construct and that there is no point in marriage. Women should not be tied down. Marriage means abusive and ungrateful husbands, bratty children, cooking and cleaning and no chance for a career. If that is the case, why are people so desperate to get married to anyone and anything? If it is alright to be single and just do your thing, why is sologamy a thing?

I have not heard that word until I read about the woman and the dog. Sologamy is the term used to define marriage to yourself. Yes, you still need someone to officiate the weeding, but you can “get married” to yourself if you would like. Do you have to wear half of a white dress and half of a tux? How do you decide which half will be the bottom, and which will be the top? And again, if you sleep with someone else, are you cheating on yourself? Is it cheating if the other person (you) knows that you are having intercourse with other people than yourself?

An Italian woman married herself two years ago, because she vowed to do so if she did not find a male, human husband by the time she was 40. Her time ran out after her long-term relationship fell apart. The wedding was meant to show that you have to love yourself first (fair enough) and that anyone deserves a fairy tale. I thought we no longer wanted our kids to read about helpless Disney princesses and princes on white horses?

The bride did mention that if the right man came around, she might marry him (without having to divorce herself, because the initial union was non-binding). Then, what does your marriage to yourself prove? If you are trying to convince yourself that you are alright being alone by throwing a wedding, chances are you are NOT alright.

You might have heard about the Japanese guy who married a hologram.

A dog, self, a hologram, what else?

How about a wall?

What?

Yes, supposedly, a woman back in 1979 married the Berlin Wall. Once the Wall died (i.e. fell), she formed a union with a fence. She must like things to be hard at all times. There was also a woman who got married to the Eiffel Tower, but she had to walk away when a documentary entitled “Married to the Eiffel Tower” made her aware of her groom’s other marriage.

It looks like people are getting married to all sorts of things. Does it prove that marriage IS important? Or is it just mockery to highlight that marriage is a joke?

Stay golden,

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40 thoughts on “NROP: ‘Til Death Do Us Part. Wedding – a celebration of…

Add yours

  1. Another crazy cool post. Love these entries of yours, they really make me go through a bunch of emotions. Marrying a dog? Not much different than a lot of relationships my friends tend to lead into. I myself am not a huge fan of marriage. I get it, but I’m not entirely sold. People do some crazy stuff, I firmly believe that if you pull back the layers, they have been hurt somehow and their reactions to that trauma they so something outlandish like marrying a wall or some other weird out of the norm. Marriage is for some, but not for all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Ash!
      I really enjoy stirring people up a bit with my writing.
      I agree with you that these people have some major issues. They should address them in a different way, though. This is just like slapping on a band-aid. It will fall off soon enough.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What. On. Earth?! That is insane. I feel like that could be used as mockery, but I guess it really just depends on the person? Marriage is very serious to me, so I for sure wouldn’t be friends with people that do that, but since it doesn’t really impact my life, I guess they can do whatever they want?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Welp. We sure aren’t short of ridiculous human behaviour. I definitely think marriage today is just for appearances, an event that will bind people together and put more things on the line for them. People should know that their word alone should be worth more than diamond and that no church, ring and what not proves their love. For people to go to the extent of marrying something other than a human being is just a sign that they are screaming for attention… Or have issues. Nice post. Had a good laugh at “She must like things to be hard at all times.” 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it’s … tradition. But marriage is definitely redefined in today’s day and age. People who are not married sometimes do way better than those who are.
      Screaming for attention and issues. You hit the nail right on the head.
      I’m glad you found it humorous!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Marriage implies a 2-way commitment. A dog can make that commitment to a human, but I don’t believe it’s reciprocal. Inanimate objects like walls and fences cannot commit to things. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything about a man doing this, so I think it’s not the marriage part of the ceremony as the pomp and circumstance of the wedding. They like the dress and the flowers and the guests and the food. It is a shallow party that one throws for oneself where you get to spend thousands of dollars for a gathering that features you. Unfortunately, you don’t have to marry a dog or a wall or yourself to have this kind of party, and people (bride-zillas) consider this wedding to be the most important party of their lives and think of the marriage as a secondary by-product.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Oh my gosh. This is… I don’t have the words, just, oh my gosh.
    To me marriage signifies commitment, to stand by each other regardless – yes circumstances can change, like if one or the other is abusive, but, a commitment means to working through issues with each other, giving and loving because you’ve chosen to. But, oh my. I’ve tears in my eyes from this – not sad, not funny, just, just……

    Love, light and glitter

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad I stirred something up in you. I often wonder if only I find things outrageous or otherwise, so l like sharing them here to see what others have to say about it.

      I think you defined marriage in a beautiful way.

      Have a great rest of your week and stay golden!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks!
        How are you?
        Exhausted here.
        I like reading your posts when I can focus enough (I’ve missed out so many that one day I’ll catch up on – if I can focus long enough!)
        Love, light and glitter

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, hey! And we were just discussing love. Yeah, definitely not what I had in mind…

    Pretty sure it’s a symptom of a larger problem. In many ways, we’re more connected than we’ve ever been. And yet, we’ve never been so alone. We’re in an age where everybody talks, but no one is saying anything — not really. And no one is listening. Well, who listens better than a dog, a fence, that person in the mirror? And the best part is, you don’t have to listen back; it’s just… easy.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. To say I’m beyond shocked is an understatement. I don’t even know what to say. This is ridiculous.

    I find people who do things like this disgusting. I mean, to have intercourse with an animal (Eww!) is one thing, but to marry an animal — and an inanimate object!? Come on! That’s another level of crazy.

    But how do people fall in love with dogs and… fences? I tried to understand the logic, but I couldn’t. It all boils down to the fact that mental health awareness should be a priority. Because no one in their right mind will marry an animal or an object or do the more despicable things people do these days.

    What’s the least cliché way to say, “These are signs of the end time, my brothers and sisters”?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, hello there, Obi!
      How are things?

      People say they are happy and free when they do things like this, but all I do is cringe, because I know that underneath that facade, there are issues.

      End of times, indeed. If we only knew there were weeks/ months/ years or decades left…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello there, Goldie! Thing are better now that I’m recovering. You know how I said I’m going to do a lot of blog stuff last month and resume on the 21st of July? Well, I ended up falling seriously sick throughout the month of July and the first week of August. Typhoid fever and malaria. I’m better now, though, and ready for action.

        Yes, I agree with you about it being a facade. I think it’s even these issues that prompt them to make foolish decisions like this one.

        I wasn’t sure if that thing you said about the end of times was you being sarcastic. 😂
        I won’t blame you if you were being sarcastic. My great grandma told my grandma who told my mum who then told me that the world’s ending very soon. And now, I’m expected to pass on the fear to my kids in future. But end time or not, the things happening now call for desperate measures. It’s no longer funny.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. WHAT? WOW. That sounds like a lot. I’m glad that you’re doing better. Interestingly enough, I felt the need to message you a couple of weeks ago, but then realized that you wouldn’t be back probably until August, so I didn’t want to bother and distract you as you focused on your exams.

          No, I’m not sarcastic. It’s just that people often roll their eyes at me when I say it and they reply with: “The world’s been ending for years”. Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not ending.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Thank you. I’m glad the worst is behind me. I thought I was going to die 😂 For real. I never want to feel that way again!

            People give me the same treatment when I tell people the world’s ending. I think they’re under the illusion that the world is supposed to end a week after the “sign of the times” surface. Too much sci-fi movies does that to you.

            Liked by 1 person

  8. The idea of a person marrying or an object is just plain absurd. I get that there’s some kind of connection there (pet, favorite place, etc.), but marriage is a binding of 2 persons in an intimate relationship. Marriage isn’t for everyone though, and that’s understandable. But, for one to marry a dog or an object? That’s taking things too far. Does she plan on having sexual intercourse with her dog? Chances are (and I hope this is the case) that she is not. It seems to me like this is a statement being made about not needing men to be happy, or something of the sort as opposed to having a desire to breed human hybrid pups and spend the rest of her life in an intimate (and sexual) relationship with her dog. Anyone in their right mind, no matter how much they love their pets, wouldn’t marry them. When it comes to marriage among people, it is a commitment between two people, not a person and a non-person. The non-person cannot fulfill their duties as a wedded partner because their cognitive functions are not the same as an average human. How can they be expected to uphold their vows when they cannot even comprehend them? At least until AI becomes a reality, but then they would see things like this and come to a conclusion that the human race needs correction by systematic elimination. Anyways, another great and interesting piece!! I always enjoy reading these. My reply might be a little scattered, but so is my brain.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “Correction by systemic elimination” – I love it.

      Like you, I think it’s a statement. But it just goes to show how shaky their own perception is. If you are fine without a man, be fine without a man. You do not need to cause a scene and marry a dog. What is the goal?

      Liked by 1 person

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